Unhappy and feeling stuck.

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Fair enough, I understand things have been difficult for you but in all honesty, I think you will get the more appropriate responses that you are looking for in a section like The Haven, people are going to offer you advice in this forum and if you throw it back, it's not going to create the best responses for what you are looking for.

I greatly fear this will be the result of my attempt to negotiate the system. Drugs or CBT seems to be all they are willing to provide. What I could really use is help finding an employer who will take a risk and give me a chance to show what I can do, and provide a few simple accomodations. The reality is that I cannot wish my barriers away by waving some magic wand. Between not driving, my age, meager work history, no post-secondary education, social impairment, and numerous other tangible barriers - I can, actually, find work, which is miraculous in itself. But only for the most abusive employers who are scraping the bottom of the barrel to exploit the most desperate job-seekers in the entire workforce.

All the drugs and CBT on earth could never do even a tiny fraction of what a cheap, moderately decent employment service geared towards people with AS or similar disabilities could do for me. And yes this does very much impact me in terms of relationships ... independance would greatly change things for me at this present moment, due to certain circumstances.

Last edited by edgewaters on 13 Jul 2012, 4:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

Thank you. Yes, that is how I'm feeling. Grieving is a good word for it, feeling a sense of loss for a life you just are not going to be able to have. And even if you come to terms with it, or try to,, there are some days the loss sneaks up on you and hits you harder.

I am still grieving for my kitty. I think I always will. I think that loss is making me feel a magnified sense of loss in other areas of my life.

Yeah, that has been my extensive experience.


I worked full time at the same job for over a year, but then we moved. So I know I CAN do it, but, the circumstances do have to be accommodating, and that is tough to find. And yeah, when you are dealing with extra stress, like my husband being absent, no support system, etc, it's just not going to happen.

For me, it's a relationship issue, because if I was happy about my relationship, I wouldn't care as much about being dependent. I would be like, so what he takes care of me financially? I love him, blah blah. But because I feel like I am in more of a pragmatic partnership, I have all these feelings of guilt, anger, etc.. My main cause of unhappiness is the relationship, and everything attached to that.

I understand how it feels impossible to work when your main relationship in life is absolutely draining you on emotional, mental, physical levels.

Do you feel like you have any options RE: your relationship, or either by making changes to it, or supplementing it with other relationships (ie, if you had a best girl friend to go to the movies with once a week or have coffee, would your husband's work schedule bother you less?) I don't completely understand the complexity of your marriage, obviously, but I hope that you feel you have options. Because options are freeing, and my depression in the past has come from feeling trapped

Also, what you describe RE: a job in a supportive environment that is low key and caters to your specific issues is exactly what I am on the (long, slow, paperwork endless) trail of right now through something called Employment Services through Voc Rehab. I was lucky enough to find a very compassionate case worker who sees that I have valuable talents despite my social issues and and anxiety. She is going to have me volunteer to help the activity coordinator for the games and crafts at a group home, and possible also do some sewing for them, because my talents are arts and crafts.

That's great about the activity coordinator thing.

I have thought about supplementing with other relationships. But it would obviously not be cool of me to hang out with a guy, so I'd have to make a girl friend. And I don't know how to do that easily. Most single people want to go out and meet people and most married people are busy with kids or each other. So, yeah, I think a friend I could hang out with might be good, but I'm not sure how to make one who I would actually like and have something in common with. I'm not good at keeping friends. There are not really any groups or clubs near me that I am aware of.

It takes an enormous amount of strength to leave a relationship, especially when you don't have a good backup option or any support. Ultimately it has to be a personal judgment call and there isn't any right or wrong decision. Life isn't perfect and nobody can tell you what's best for you. Whatever steps you take, you have to be ready for them, which sometimes means just waiting it out for a while; otherwise changes can just make matters worse. That includes therapy, relationship choices, etc. So no judgment from me.