Ask someone out by email? Here's the situation:
Brianruns10 wrote:
So here's the situation:
I was on a film shoot yesterday, working with a wonderful young actress, but her schedule was tight that day, and so it was a mad rush to shoot all her scenes...as a result little time to commiserate, though we did chat during the occasional break between shots. Because she had to leave quickly, and I had to go about breaking down gear at the end of the day, there was no chance to follow up, or make a face to face proposition for meeting up.
I don't know here status except she is divorced, but that was several years ago. She has a website from which I have her email, so it's not like I'm using private information I did not ask to get. I'd like to ask her to lunch or coffee.
But of course I'm torn between the unspoken rules of dating, which seem to suggest asking out by email is a faux pas. But I haven't the slightest idea when I'll ever see her again, since the scenes involving her character have wrapped, so really what do I have to lose by taking a chance?
Here's what I propose to send her (draft 1)
Hi X,
We met on the location shoot the other day (I was the scriptwriter and Mr. "magic fingers" [Note to WPers: this is a film term, nothing sexual. "Magic fingers" is the term for when you wave your hands in front of a movie light for an effect, which in this case was to create rippling water being reflected off the actresses's face], and wanted to say how much I enjoyed working with you. It was wonderful having such a consummate professional who was so patient while we worked.
I enjoyed your stories from your work on the stage, and I regretted we didn't have more time to chat. I have no idea when our paths might cross again, if ever, so I wanted to see if you'd like to meet for lunch, perhaps next week?
Here's my mobile if you'd like to reach me directly.
Again, it was wonderful working with you, and I hope we may see each other again!
Best Wishes
[My name]"
So what do you all think?
I think as others have mentioned,something less formal might have been the better option. Now,you really don't know if she will get the email.I think you should try and see her face to face.It sounds like you two had good chemistry.
I was on a film shoot yesterday, working with a wonderful young actress, but her schedule was tight that day, and so it was a mad rush to shoot all her scenes...as a result little time to commiserate, though we did chat during the occasional break between shots. Because she had to leave quickly, and I had to go about breaking down gear at the end of the day, there was no chance to follow up, or make a face to face proposition for meeting up.
I don't know here status except she is divorced, but that was several years ago. She has a website from which I have her email, so it's not like I'm using private information I did not ask to get. I'd like to ask her to lunch or coffee.
But of course I'm torn between the unspoken rules of dating, which seem to suggest asking out by email is a faux pas. But I haven't the slightest idea when I'll ever see her again, since the scenes involving her character have wrapped, so really what do I have to lose by taking a chance?
Here's what I propose to send her (draft 1)
Hi X,
We met on the location shoot the other day (I was the scriptwriter and Mr. "magic fingers" [Note to WPers: this is a film term, nothing sexual. "Magic fingers" is the term for when you wave your hands in front of a movie light for an effect, which in this case was to create rippling water being reflected off the actresses's face], and wanted to say how much I enjoyed working with you. It was wonderful having such a consummate professional who was so patient while we worked.
I enjoyed your stories from your work on the stage, and I regretted we didn't have more time to chat. I have no idea when our paths might cross again, if ever, so I wanted to see if you'd like to meet for lunch, perhaps next week?
Here's my mobile if you'd like to reach me directly.
Again, it was wonderful working with you, and I hope we may see each other again!
Best Wishes
[My name]"
So what do you all think?
Pyrite
Veteran
Joined: 27 Mar 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,247
Location: Mid-Atlantic United States
Brianruns10 wrote:
So here's the situation:
I was on a film shoot yesterday, working with a wonderful young actress, but her schedule was tight that day, and so it was a mad rush to shoot all her scenes...as a result little time to commiserate, though we did chat during the occasional break between shots. Because she had to leave quickly, and I had to go about breaking down gear at the end of the day, there was no chance to follow up, or make a face to face proposition for meeting up.
I don't know here status except she is divorced, but that was several years ago. She has a website from which I have her email, so it's not like I'm using private information I did not ask to get. I'd like to ask her to lunch or coffee.
But of course I'm torn between the unspoken rules of dating, which seem to suggest asking out by email is a faux pas. But I haven't the slightest idea when I'll ever see her again, since the scenes involving her character have wrapped, so really what do I have to lose by taking a chance?
Here's what I propose to send her (draft 1)
Hi X,
We met on the location shoot the other day (I was the scriptwriter and Mr. "magic fingers" [Note to WPers: this is a film term, nothing sexual. "Magic fingers" is the term for when you wave your hands in front of a movie light for an effect, which in this case was to create rippling water being reflected off the actresses's face], and wanted to say how much I enjoyed working with you. It was wonderful having such a consummate professional who was so patient while we worked.
I enjoyed your stories from your work on the stage, and I regretted we didn't have more time to chat. I have no idea when our paths might cross again, if ever, so I wanted to see if you'd like to meet for lunch, perhaps next week?
Here's my mobile if you'd like to reach me directly.
Again, it was wonderful working with you, and I hope we may see each other again!
Best Wishes
[My name]"
So what do you all think?
I was on a film shoot yesterday, working with a wonderful young actress, but her schedule was tight that day, and so it was a mad rush to shoot all her scenes...as a result little time to commiserate, though we did chat during the occasional break between shots. Because she had to leave quickly, and I had to go about breaking down gear at the end of the day, there was no chance to follow up, or make a face to face proposition for meeting up.
I don't know here status except she is divorced, but that was several years ago. She has a website from which I have her email, so it's not like I'm using private information I did not ask to get. I'd like to ask her to lunch or coffee.
But of course I'm torn between the unspoken rules of dating, which seem to suggest asking out by email is a faux pas. But I haven't the slightest idea when I'll ever see her again, since the scenes involving her character have wrapped, so really what do I have to lose by taking a chance?
Here's what I propose to send her (draft 1)
Hi X,
We met on the location shoot the other day (I was the scriptwriter and Mr. "magic fingers" [Note to WPers: this is a film term, nothing sexual. "Magic fingers" is the term for when you wave your hands in front of a movie light for an effect, which in this case was to create rippling water being reflected off the actresses's face], and wanted to say how much I enjoyed working with you. It was wonderful having such a consummate professional who was so patient while we worked.
I enjoyed your stories from your work on the stage, and I regretted we didn't have more time to chat. I have no idea when our paths might cross again, if ever, so I wanted to see if you'd like to meet for lunch, perhaps next week?
Here's my mobile if you'd like to reach me directly.
Again, it was wonderful working with you, and I hope we may see each other again!
Best Wishes
[My name]"
So what do you all think?
A phone call is better, even if you're terrible on the phone.
With the only girl I ever asked out directly (who initially agreed) I made the mistake of only getting an email address and it never ended up happening because it was difficult to arrange things or work through difficulties without communicating in real time. If you see her regularly in person that may help avoid this, but I'd still go with the phone call.
Do what works, not what's easy.
_________________
AQ 40. EQ 10/SQ 92. AS 184/NT 18. dx.
Quote:
Make it a bit more casual and brief, be a little cheeky about why you didn't catch her on the day otherwise you may come across as a stalker.
I agree here (Im an NT female)- a little more casual works better. I also think from your explanation (sometimes I dont think ppl bother to read!) that you have nothing to lose. A guy once asked me out in a note left in my mailbox at work after he volunteered there one day. I thought it was very sweet and I would definitely have gone out with him had I been attracted to him in any way. The bad part for him is that he got NO ANSWER instead of a definite "No." I felt bad for him being left wondering BUT it felt too weird to call him just to say "No" also....
WTH I say!
If you can't do this in person and you presumably didn't get her number, I see no reason not to do it by email. Because you're starting from a work relationship, I do think it's fine to be a bit more formal. Also, nothing ventured nothing gained. The email in the OP would totally win me for lunch or coffee.
Brianruns10 wrote:
Well no reply. It was a longshot but I tried. Gonna keep trying until I find someone. Surely there is someone who will tolerate me?
Don't start doubting yourself after one email and approach, you will need to email and approach a lot more women than that before you find the right one.
Pyrite
Veteran
Joined: 27 Mar 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,247
Location: Mid-Atlantic United States
Wolfheart wrote:
Brianruns10 wrote:
Well no reply. It was a longshot but I tried. Gonna keep trying until I find someone. Surely there is someone who will tolerate me?
Don't start doubting yourself after one email and approach, you will need to email and approach a lot more women than that before you find the right one.
With no reply he probably shouldn't send another email unless he's seen them in person or had some other contact in the interim should he?
