Women, what do you think of men who are quiet and shy?

Post Reply New Topic

Being quiet is more appealing than being a loudmouth. Shyness is more appealing than a chronic need to draw attention to yourself.
But you do have to be able to open up to the person you're pursuing enough that 1.) they'll be aware of your interest 2.) they'll be able to get to know you.
Ik that can be tough but when someone seems quiet or sealed off it can make it feel more special when that person talks to you. At least that's how it was with my guy.

other people have covered it really well I think

Im a bit shy in person I am afraid to say anything to a girl I find attractive and freeze up not only because I am shy though but also this.[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaLRpFdZ2V4&feature=fvwrel[/youtube]

when i am single and interested, i like to bother/tease shy guys to try to bring out some kind of reaction - at least a laugh or a smile or something. if i don't get any sort of response, i figure he's not interested.

i married someone who had social anxiety. when we first spoke, we were at a pool party. i didn't like eye contact due to asperger's and he didn't like eye contact due to social anxiety. so instead of facing each other, we sat side by side and just stared at the pool while we talked for a couple of hours. he always tended to turn girls off because he seemed so aloof, but it was just his brand of shyness. he needed a woman with a strong personality to break him out of his shell.

it can happen, but the opportunities are definitely less numerous.

Personally, I prefer my partner to be dominant as I can be a bit shy myself. I don't find shy people attractive but that's just me

Sexist double standard fact:

Shyness in girls is seen as virtue, or at least with indifference.

Shyness in guys is often seen as a very negative trait.

A lot of my partners have been shy guys and my husband is not exactly a big brash alpha male. It may not be something that appeals to a majority of women, I honestly don't know, but I'm pretty sure a sizeable minority of us are into quiet types. (I see a lot of black-and-white thinking on these threads, where if something is a slight disadvantage with women when viewed as a whole gender, it apparently means all the women you meet will see you as crap and you will never get laid ever, ever, ever. It just doesn't work like that. Just because you can't walk into a room and get any girl you like, doesn't mean you will never get a girl you like. Harder != impossible.)

However, there is such a thing as too shy. You don't have to be the life of the party to get my attention, but you need to at least be able to show interest in some way. You need to relax around me enough to have a conversation. Because being around someone who's scared of me is a really uncomfortable experience - I never know if I'm going to say the wrong thing, or whether the person is actually enjoying my company. If I feel like a wrong word from me is going to emotionally crush someone, I can't relax around them either! I used to have terrible social anxiety and I would just clam up, not saying a word for half an hour at a time, barely even able to answer a question. I lost friends that way and I'm honestly not surprised, because I was not enjoyable to be around.

And yes, there have been shy guys that I liked, but at the time I was equally too shy to approach them. In fact they probably never knew I liked them. Life's a b***h.

I wonder what women make of me sometimes?

Whenever I actually approach girls, so long as I don't fumble up my smooth lines and such, I can have decent success (For a nerd and Aspie, mind you...). But....the reality is, I'm usually beating on my chest like a gorilla, metaphorically speaking, in the process, when it's not my real nature to do so.

The "extroverted Shau" is just a mask I like to put on every once and a while, but for the most part I'd prefer to stay reserved and quiet. Yet, I've got all the spine of a cactus needle, I have no problems standing up for myself or getting what I want, or seizing opportunity. I'm just not "loud" about doing it.

gross, I can only imagine ?

I agree with many of the above comments. Very intelligent insights throughout.

In my opinion, men are best off not being shy (just as women should be less shy).

Not only because men are expected to take initiative, but if the woman is shy as well, then there is no contact whatsoever. A woman can easily mistake a man who is shy as lack of interest and then just move on.