what does it mean to be aloof?

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Good post. You should also include schizotypals.

yes good point!

People on the spectrum aren't generally aloof though, most of them want to fit in and feel value and social validation but don't exactly know how, that's why many try to seek that internal validation from one person instead of maintaining a big social circle or having a lot of friends.

No friends to speak of, at least not in real life. I text one person I know from here very occasionally, but other than that, I just have Boyfriend.
I do desire a romantic partner strongly, ever since I was little- it's overwhelming, really, the only connection drive I think I might have.
My family is just comprised of my parents and an estranged brother.
When I analyze my feelings toward them, it's hard for me to think of them separated from my indebtedness/gratitude to them for supporting me throughout being too spastic to find regular employment- I don't know if that counts as love, really. Or does it matter? Sometimes I think I don't know what "love" is at all...

Either way, boyfriend or parents, yes- I study their behaviors and thought processes in the same way I would anyone else's. I'm a psychology major, but unlike a humanistic-oriented clinician, I don't mirror anything positive back to someone after I ask them questions. I might say something like "Interesting", "Hm..." or "Why do you think that is?" I can see from an NT's perspective that this might leave them feeling vulnerable- to have opened up to someone, to little response, positive or negative.'

I think, often, of how Hans Asperger was quick to describe his patients to the Nazis as being gifted in the social sciences, because, much like the name of this forum, I feel as if I've been airdropped into the midst of some bizarre culture made up of institutions and dogmas and rituals, and my only real interest is studying it as intensely as possible. That is, I think it might lend itself to some degree of objectivity.

That's very insightful. Agree.

Rudy Simone in Aspergirls talks about how often Aspies are presumed to want to be alone, whereas the vast majority of "loner" types in their number might be desperately lonely people who learned from a young age that attempting to interact with others would bring nothing but pain and embarrassment.

God does this ever describe me. To be alone is easier, not preferable.

It means you don't fit yourself to people in the small things and that it apears you don't want to attach yourself to people in the big things.

Oh I do, but that's often when things start getting bizarro for me (which is probably why you don't do it!)



Yeah but it's hard to get a good look sometimes.

That's might be why I come here. It feels like everyone comes here to trade themselves as a specimen, in order to have a look at all the other specimens. Like a great big candy shop for an observer. The Internet is like the glass jars that all of us flies buzz around in, safe to study each other, so we can be expressive but still aloof somehow.



I'm torn on this question. I have the desire to not be alone, but it's always less happy than being alone. I mean this more in the sense of friends/acquaintances. I think I've given up on that sort of thing, because I've found I'm just happier without. Sort of what like Wolfheart was saying, I feel like I just need the one person. But then you get isolated in a different way, you're dependant on this one person for all human connection, and that doesn't really work either.