Do you ever wonder what it's like being in a

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I used to wonder about that, a lot. I began to believe what another man told me... that it would never come true for me, I'd always be searching for it but I'd never find it, as I did not deserve it. It just isn't real, he said. Everyone would treat me poorly, and everyone would leave me eventually, he said. He acted like it was some kind of fate of mine, which I just needed to take a deep breath and accept, whether I wanted to or not.

I don't wonder about any of that anymore, because I've found my boyfriend. I love our relationship and I love him. He treats me so well, and we have a good, healthy relationship. We've helped each other and learned from each other, and beyond our romance I would call him a true friend of mine. We're also definitely equally attracted to one another. We've found a good balance as far as affection goes - I could hold him and cuddle all of the time but that gets overwhelming and restrictive to him, so I've learned to give him some space. He always comes to me for affection eventually.

That type of love is out there, definitely - I wouldn't have believed if it any of you had told me this even just 6 months ago, but I have no doubts anymore.

I had that once with my high school sweetheart when we really fell in love after graduating.
We had a wonderful 20yr relationship 13 in marriage.
We were still deeply in love when we split up for very complicated reasons.
So far they were the 20 most joyful years of my life!
She was never diagnosed but I believe she had AS which is why I think we connected so well.

They exist, plenty of them....

They're just not active on this forum.


Real word =/= WP

I just settle for the next best thing, a root, a feed, and a cuddle afterwards

No sounds creepy .

I can relate to this, but my relationship is going on three strong years. I used to expect my boyfriend to break up with me for someone better - but he didn't. I was just projecting my fears from past relationships onto this one.

I can relate to looking for some "catch" in him. I am a living example that love can find you, even if you feel unlovable. But it has been a lot of work, and it was not an easy journey to get to where we are today. It was definitely worth it though, and even if we break up later on, at least I learned how to love.

It allways comes down to the money

True. I feel the same way. Even if Kyuuchan and I were to separate, she'd probably still be willing to be my friend. And even if we don't become a happy couple in the future, she's still taught me a lot about how to live and how to love.

...speak of the devil, that's her calling now. Excuse me

I'm in one now. I haven't been talking much at all about it here because she's not a very active poster here & I don't really feel a need to talk about it or come here to post in general. I'd much rather talk to her instead & I'm trying to live offline a little more than I have. I wouldn't be surprised if you guys are glad I'm posting less

...and yet none of them have stuck around after the sex was over. I wonder how many alpha a$$&0l#$ she'll have to work through before realizing how good she once had it? Not that she would EVER admit it if the realization ever happened... better to make a different "reality" to believe in - one that vindicates her choices instead of vilifying them.

Happens allll the time.

Too good to be true, certainly.

Haha lol Before I knew I had ASD and I was in fully blown NT emulation mode...

I used to have many alpha male friends who would seal my GF's

Due to my male friends bad boy dark triad themes of:

Narcissism, machiavellianism and psychopathy, eventually these dodgy guys always got found out for the a-holes they really were....

and my ex GF's

ALWAYS ENDED UP HATING THEM WITH A VENGEANCE.....

AND WANTING TO BE BACK WITH ME!!

My aspie shortcomings, made these guys look really attractive, due to their charm, social manoeuvrings, attentions and flattery.... even though this perception of them[in comparison to me].....transpired to sycophancy, lack of genuine communication and 2 faced lying.... usually around the space of 4-8 months. One ex GF even robbed an old mate of $1000's worth of stuff.....[kind of made me laugh]

In my earlier life, my attachment to my ADHD alpha male friends offered me access to parties and females.....

So, in a way.... without them I may never have hooked up with these females to begin with....

I figured it all evened out in the end, it showed me that these women rely on their egos more than I.... they tended to change like the weather, and my ADHD mates cannot be trusted....

Also that if I wanted to maintain a relationship in an NT environment, my AS is a huge limiting factor.

Its nice that I was still wanted, and the truth came out in the end....

Most of the girls and relationships were build upon un-awareness of ASD's.... so maintaining these relationships.... was not good for me in the long run, so its ***all good*** that it ended, and I found out about my ASD's outside of a marriage or children scenario.

I'm super lucky those mates stole *my* girls....

Nature.... got to love it eh?

Last edited by Surfman on 27 Jul 2012, 5:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I was married for 20 years. It was good for the first half, pure Hell for the second. You really can't tell how a man will handle his early, mid-life crisis when you're 18. In the end, I made a bad choice.

I too, wonder if I'll ever find someone to love me, but rather than stew about it, I'll just love myself and my dogs and take what comes my way with gratitude. There are no guarantees in life. I'm just glad I wasn't born in Somalia or China, eh?

Maybe a Somalian or Chinese husband wouldnt have had an early mid life crisis?

I know most Kiwi girls like hale bopp have tremendous staying power and reliability.... and will stick thru the bad times for decades

Kiwi girls are capable of never ending love and devotion

I'm starting to believe these types of relationships don't actually exist, and anyone in one are just in denial.

delete

Last edited by Roxas_XIII on 30 Jul 2012, 6:20 am, edited 1 time in total.