Do you get a lot attention from the opposite gender?

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MXH
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07 Aug 2012, 4:32 pm

HisDivineMajesty wrote:

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

legitimate attention? once in a while (maybe 2 guys a year), usually from men I know, these are guys I might date

= Men you're attracted to;

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

creepy/aggressive attention? pretty constant if I leave the house

= Men you're not attracted to.

i swear ive seen this before

nolan1971
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07 Aug 2012, 4:36 pm

Since my mood changes so often I get alot of attention when I am feeling great but not so much
when down no matter how well I try to hide that.

rosemund
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07 Aug 2012, 6:09 pm

donryanocero wrote:

Apparently a lot, but I don't seem to notice it or recognize it as physical interest. heh. When I'm out with friends they sometimes point out when women are checking me out and I'm often surprised.

So now I just assume everyone is, so I don't miss out. :-D

Hahaha. Good plan.

Answer to the OP: Yes, but it tends to be for the wrong reasons. I go out dancing a lot, because I like it, and it's about the only time when I'm not completely, physically awkward. The problem is, men invite themselves into my dance space or they wait until I stop to get a drink, then zoom in. It's very disconcerting, and once they realize I have a brain, they get away as fast as possible. Or I get attention from my friends' husbands. Equally odd.

DialAForAwesome
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07 Aug 2012, 6:18 pm

Mostly negative attention. The other day I was complimented on my looks by a lesbian though. Not sure how to take that.

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MXH
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07 Aug 2012, 6:32 pm

rosemund wrote:

donryanocero wrote:

as ive stated a billion times before, the problem here is not men being creepy, its that those are places that we are encouraged to actively approach women in. Be it a nightclub or a dance class (how many times have men heard of "why dont you take a dance class, im sure youll meet plenty of girls there" from a woman, or how many times have you heard a woman say that?). They are just doing what other women have told them to do, dont knock them for that. Now if they do something warranting the negative status besides doing what everyone has told them to do then dont label them as such

bruinsy33
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07 Aug 2012, 6:36 pm

MXH wrote:

rosemund wrote:

donryanocero wrote:

Asking a woman to dance at a nightclub is totally acceptable behaviour but invading a woman's dance space uninvited is not appropriate behaviour.

metaldanielle
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07 Aug 2012, 8:16 pm

I don't get a lot of attention in real life since I don't leave the house much. Online though, I get a ton of attention. I am ok with it.

MXH
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07 Aug 2012, 8:29 pm

bruinsy33 wrote:

MXH wrote:

rosemund wrote:

donryanocero wrote:

Asking a woman to dance at a nightclub is totally acceptable behaviour but invading a woman's dance space uninvited is not appropriate behaviour.

if it were that easy to assess the situation then id agree. But its never that easy. Many women lead men onto it, making it pre approved. And theres also men who have no clue what theyre doing.

Who_Am_I
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07 Aug 2012, 8:30 pm

HisDivineMajesty wrote:

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

legitimate attention? once in a while (maybe 2 guys a year), usually from men I know, these are guys I might date

= Men you're attracted to;

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

creepy/aggressive attention? pretty constant if I leave the house

= Men you're not attracted to.

I'm sure I remember her mentioning that guys tried to rub their genitals on her hair in the subway. I'm pretty sure that would count as "creepy/aggressive" no matter how pretty the guy was.

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jagatai
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07 Aug 2012, 8:55 pm

HisDivineMajesty wrote:

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

legitimate attention? once in a while (maybe 2 guys a year), usually from men I know, these are guys I might date

= Men you're attracted to;

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

creepy/aggressive attention? pretty constant if I leave the house

= Men you're not attracted to.

Try not to be a jerk for a few minutes, okay?

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MXH
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07 Aug 2012, 9:07 pm

jagatai wrote:

HisDivineMajesty wrote:

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

legitimate attention? once in a while (maybe 2 guys a year), usually from men I know, these are guys I might date

= Men you're attracted to;

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

creepy/aggressive attention? pretty constant if I leave the house

= Men you're not attracted to.

Try not to be a jerk for a few minutes, okay?

hes not being a jerk, that was a trully valid point that multiple people have come across. Hell just look at the message quoted, its automatically creepy/aggressive because she doesnt like those men. Also unless shes part of a victorias secret runway show cast i doubt she gets that much attention "pretty constant if I leave the house".

yellowtamarin
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07 Aug 2012, 9:13 pm

I don't know, because I don't know how much attention the average person gets. I'd say I probably get a fair bit less than average, unless I'm at a bar and it's 3am.

zxy8
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07 Aug 2012, 9:24 pm

I really have no idea in terms of whether they are looking at me. I barely get random people coming up to me. And even if people are looking, I have no idea if that is good or bad :S

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07 Aug 2012, 9:51 pm

MXH wrote:

jagatai wrote:

HisDivineMajesty wrote:

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

legitimate attention? once in a while (maybe 2 guys a year), usually from men I know, these are guys I might date

= Men you're attracted to;

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

creepy/aggressive attention? pretty constant if I leave the house

= Men you're not attracted to.

Try not to be a jerk for a few minutes, okay?

Why do you doubt that she is getting that much attention? I suppose your standard of beauty is a Victoria secret runway model, but that doesn't mean everyone would hit on that. Women on the spectrum get lots of unwanted attention because certain men pick up on our naïvety and sense that they may encroach where they are not wanted. I have had men deliberately keep brushing into me even after I asked them to stop, while at social functions. (And this behavior definitely qualifies as creepy.) As for her comment about getting unwanted attention pretty much every day, try being a passably attractive woman for just one day and then come back and tell us how it went.

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jagatai
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07 Aug 2012, 10:03 pm

MXH wrote:

jagatai wrote:

HisDivineMajesty wrote:

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

legitimate attention? once in a while (maybe 2 guys a year), usually from men I know, these are guys I might date

= Men you're attracted to;

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

creepy/aggressive attention? pretty constant if I leave the house

= Men you're not attracted to.

Try not to be a jerk for a few minutes, okay?

Can't say I agree with you there, MXH. I've seen plenty of men express this idea. That doesn't make it any less offensive.

The problem is that the claim makes a lot of assumptions without necessarily knowing anything about the woman's experience. It is a self serving argument that belittles any woman who rejects a man who is actually being creepy by claiming she is just being capricious. It's the sort of comment an insecure and immature person would make.

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Bloodheart
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07 Aug 2012, 10:31 pm

I used to get a lot of male attention - I noticed a huge drop in attention once I reached the age of 25, which was a little depressing. I still get a little attention now when conditions are right and it seems to no longer be just men wanting to get into my pants with zero interest in me as a person. I've had a few guys I know try to 'come onto me' since I left my ex long-term boyfriend, despite the fact I have a new boyfriend and they fall into the category of 'wanting to get into my pants' so it's not at all welcomed attention.

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