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Not dating because of poor social status

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saraip
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18 Aug 2012, 12:16 am

RICKY5 wrote:
put wrote:
I hope the title makes any sense at all... To clarify:

Us aspies (or autists of course) might not be the most social bunch of people. Not that we're rude, but maybe we don't have as many friends as NT's and don't go out as much. Personally, I kind of feel like I shouldn't be dating again untill I'm doing a bit better in this regard. So I'm wondering, am I just being silly, or do you guys feel the same?

Also, would you mind a partner who's socially 'poor'? On the one hand he/she has plenty of time to spend with you, on the other hand he/she might be really dependent on you...


Rule of Thumb: Women are hypergamous and will always seek a partner higher in status than they are. Guys would not mind a girl who is "socially poor". Women would absolutely hate to have a guy who is socially poor.


That might be true for NT women, but I am a woman and I would not date someone who was a social person. I don't want to be expected to interact with lots of people just because I'm going out with one person. On the other hand, guys have indeed lost interest in me because I don't want to do social things. So I'm not sure that's the most useful rule of thumb...



1000Knives
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18 Aug 2012, 1:10 am

I don't want someone dependent on me aside from like, calling me up to fix their car or something. Anymore than I'd expect from a platonic friend. And I don't want to spend a lot of time with a girlfriend, either, again, if I were to date a girl, maybe talk on the phone/online daily or close to it, but only spend 6-10 hours a week with each other. Later on spend more time perhaps, but I'm not looking for someone to spend ALL my time with, as I have my own individual pursuits, too (maybe I'll meet a girl with similar pursuits, that'd be neat.) So...yeah.

I'm saying this partially because I have a sister whose boyfriend would be at my house from 1PM to midnight EVERYDAY. And my sister was literally his only friend. He's a nice enough guy (though somewhat of a snooty intellectual and too emotionally sensitive for my tastes, but he's lightyears better than her deadbeat old boyfriend who was basically abusive) but it's just weird to me that my sister's his only friend. In some ways, it seems they're both hyperdependent people and if they're fine with that, that's cool, but I would not be fine with dating someone who's very dependent.