the secret in why women play games with men

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I can see wanting to gauge his interest in her by showing disinterest, but wouldn't you think that the large number of men who will simply give up at that point, misinterpreting it to mean lack of interest in him, would nullify this strategy? Or am I one of only a few who would give up?

I think that strategy is likely to attract mostly men who won't take "No" for an answer and will abuse women.

This sucks for women like me who don't play games, but are friendly. I'll chat to a guy who wants to chat to me, even if I don't think I'm interested in him romantically/sexually. But then if I stop the conversation and walk away, they tend to chase me down, thinking I'm playing hard to get or other silly games. Usually I'm just removing myself from the situation because I don't want to lead him on by chatting for too long. I shouldn't have to say "I'm leaving now because I'm not interested in you" (when they haven't explicitly told me that they are interested), because that's awkward and should be unnecessary.

This.

Guys aren't supposed to chase; women are supposed to be led to chase.

Its never too late.
We are online and Im sure some of this really nice members would love to fill you in at this extremely important aspect of being a female.
Just make a thread saying Im a female and I dont play games and several members will correct you by saying that you are lying and then point out why all females play games and why this means you are evil.
If you are lucky you may get a rant about how this problem didnt exist 20 years ago and we should be blaming feminism for free

^^^^


Someone should switch you to a salary.

+1

Hell, MEN play games! They play dominance games with each other. It can be something as simple as trying to get you to do a bunch of favors for them. You gotta worry out for games from BOTH sexes!

That is fascinating, thanks for sharing

Comp_Geek_573 - great question, ask them. But as you see, you don't find a single woman who plays games here at wp Are you interested in mens answer too?

yellowtamarin - no. Is is necessary to say something man would understand. If you don't say "I'm just friendly, want to chat only with no secondary interests, thank you", how would he know? From crystal ball?

He should know because I have walked away. If I was interested in continuing things further I should say so (e.g. "I'm just going to see how my friend is doing but I'd like to continue this conversation later on"), just as he ought to really let me know he is interested. Personally I think it's all much more pleasant if people are open and upfront about the fact that they are interested, so the other party can accept or reject. If a guy is chatting with me but hasn't made it clear that he is pursuing me, I shouldn't have to make it clear that I'm not interested (because that's awkward, if he was actually just being friendly). Walking away should be enough. If he has made it clear, then yes, I would also need to be clear in response.

So what is the way that a man can let a woman know he's interested? Not that I'm likely to actually do it, but still, could be a handy thing to know. I honestly don't understand how people do this. It seems to "just happen". But how?

Yeah, unfortunately it does usually "just happen" which makes it harder for us clueless people. I'm not your standard girl you might meet at a bar, but anyway I'm trying to think of what might work for me as good signals, other than saying "hey I like you!". Touches (like touching my arm or leg) while we are talking, more eye contact that your average conversation, "the look"...that's all I've got for now. I came up with those because they are things I do. I'm lucky I suppose because I don't have eye contact problems when looking at someone I'm attracted to.

Personally I'd prefer if he would just tell me. Something like "I'm really enjoying chatting with you, you are really interesting". Generally I don't think a guy would tend to say something like that if he was only up for a friendly chat, though I could be wrong?

Last edited by yellowtamarin on 22 Aug 2012, 9:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

One of the many books Ive read lately has a simple principle: you dont approach anyone without a motive.
Make sure that you have a plausible explanation for approaching someone ready before you do anything and make a point to tell your reason to be there verbally/non verbally within the first minutes.

If you dont do this the other person is likely to start being concerned about why you approached them and chances are they´ll find a reason to end the conversation rather soon.

The book says I dont care if your reason is that you were attracted to the other person or whatever but you´ll find that there are some times when its better to let them guess your intentions rather than outright say: I have no reason for approaching you I just think you are hot.

That is the p**** footing way of doing things, just go up to a girl and tell her straight, a good line to use is "I'm out to talk to some beautiful girls tonight" or "I'm out to talk to a beautiful girl today".

yellowtamarin - As I said, you have to tell him directly. You know he is interested, he doesn't know you are not. Leaving means nothing. NO is something they would understand. If not, scream and run.

And we would prefer if you tell us, so we don't need to touch/look/do other crap and be accused of it later