How can you have hope as a 41 yo virgin?

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I bet some guys get girls coming up to them all the time in pubic and practically begging them for a date. Guess some guys have all the luck.

The best things in life you won't see coming, all you can do now is find a way to deal with your anxieties. So when that times you can deal with it and ENJOY it. Don't worry you'll never be past the point you can get there if you really want it.

If he were to pay for a doggy-style, then he could control his thrusts to avoid pelvic contact--the paper plate might help. I suppose that he could also wear latex gloves while grabbing her buttocks.

That idea sounds like it could be turned into a Monty Python-style skit.

Well, being a virgin (and never even spent a night with a woman) at my age pretty much acts as a confidence grounding shunt. I feel like the weight of a car is sitting on top of me.

No, he did not get girls begging him for dates. He was pretty hot, but Southern girls dont beg guys for dates. It's just not done. My friend who was working with me asked him his name then introduced me and said "She thinks you're awesome". I slapped her on the shoulder (not hard) and blushed and turned my back on him because I was embarrassed. Now, he thought it was amusing plus because it was the 80's, when I turned my back he got to see my awesome braided and dyed rat tail in the back of my hair. Even with the rat tail (and the paper clip through my ear with a key hanging from it) he asked me out.

I got quite a few dates from guys I met working at that store. I had the most fun at that job than anywhere. Everybody who worked there became friends and hung out together. It's amazing what a friendly "hey, how you?" and a smile will do. While I was there I dated (that I met working there) 1. the bass player in a band that played the first Lollapalooza and wrote a song about me (dated ~ 6 months and are still friends), 2. the really rich guy who liked me a lot more than I liked him ( dated about 2 months and then he dated and married the bass players sister, we are still friends), 3. some guy named Kieth who looked exactly like my second boyfriend, who had drowned, 4. two construction workers from the Galleria they were building across the street then I found out one was married, 5. one guy who was a friend of one of the guys who worked with me, 6. one of the guys who worke with me, 7. another guy who hung out in the other parking lot that I had the hots for but that date wasn't great and we never went out again (he didn't like me, apparantly I didn't drink enough), 8. my husband.

I worked there a little over two years. The girl who worked with me got her third husband from working there.

Can you socialize at all? Beyond greetings? I know the idea sounds torturous but if you can get past greetings then move on to the weather maybe then things might get easier.

Actually yes, the problem is approaching people, inserting myself into social settings, talking to people, making friends. I never had any platonic friends either. The only friend I had my mom made for me when I was a teen .

The girlfriend I had was a former student - and we were friends for a long time. I don't even consider it a real relationship because all we did was kiss. At the time I listened to her and believed her that you don't get physical until you marry. That is how clueless with dating I am . I read stuff online about relationships where people have tons of sex before they are married.

The girl I was with thought I was amazing and the best guy on earth. She actually told me that I'm intimidating to women and girls in my classes thought I was very cute (there was a site called ratemyprofessor and I did get quite a few "hots"). I don't believe it though. I know when we broke up she was very angry because I promised her I will marry her. I even got her a promise ring. I did that because I was afraid she would leave .

About 20 years ago at a former job, one of my co-workers was a chick magnet. He didn't look like all that much, but he kept himself well groomed and dressed well. Sometimes when we went out to eat lunch at a busy restaurant, I'd be amazed at the number of women who was, as far as I could tell, staring at him with desire. And he'd walk along with a funny smirk on his face that I couldn't figure out.

Later, I found out that he was in-the-closet gay and was laughing internally at them for wanting him. He wasn't interested in any of them at all, but he might have been interested in the guys they were sitting with.

Must be the Metrosexual look.

Dude, STOP! You don't know how condescending, rude and insensitive you're being!

I'm 42 and I wish I was a virgin.

Oh to think of all of the trouble I would have avoided.

If I could go back in a time machine, I would convince myself to take on some strange fetish for the jollies and forget about "getting laid".


It's overrated. Heck, you seen dogs do it in the street? It's that simple, even for a dog. Big deal.

Huh? I was just trying to be helpful.

Honestly, you don't know HOW offensive and down-putting it is to tell a virgin to just hire a protitute. There's FAR MORE to the sexual drive than just putting a penis into a vagina. It's about the connection to another human being, feeling appreciated, attractive, loved, wanted, and deserving of happiness. You can't get that from a prostitute. Maybe some people DO want just sex. But I for one don't. Going to a prostitute would obscenely cheapen it.

True, but some people with Asperger's aren't particularly interested in the emotional side of it.

Also, it's probably worth noting that people go to prostitutes for a wide range of reasons, not necessarily because they're 'sad virgins' or whatever. It's not as clear-cut as it might sound.

I take it you're physically in order, yes? I've known people who moan at the fact that they're virgins when it's pretty obvious why many women struggle to find them desirable on a basic level due to poor hygiene and so on.

Like I said, there are probably people who AREN'T interested in the emotional side of it. I am, however. Mainly, actually.



If by that, you mean good looking, yes, I am. It's one of the few things I'm NOT self-conscious about. I try to make my hair acceptable and keep it short, and I bathe. It's just that most of my problem has been oversharing and freaking women out, or just feeling like they'll "blacklist" me for asking them out and label me a creep, or an a**hole or something.