What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching?

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yeah just asking because too many girls argue, say, one of the main reasons why they would never make the first move, approach a guy and ask him out is because they feel the relationship won't last as long, won't turn out as good if the girl initiates

In the past, it seems that men had the money, and women didn't (unless they had wealthy daddies).

Where I come from, the person who asks for the date pays for the date.

This meant that women could not afford to ask for dates.

After a while, it just came to be expected that the man would pay, even if the woman did the asking.

Nowadays - especially here in the Los Angeles area - it even seems to be that the man should pay, even if the woman asks and she can also afford to pay for the date!

So, why does it seem that "Equality" actually means "The Man Still Pays"?

There is no law that says girls can't approach guys. However, it's mostly because of tradition that guys usually do the approaching. It doesn't matter anymore now but it was always done that way in the past and it's still quite rare that a woman will do the approaching nowadays.

What are you even talking about?

True. If we had true equality, the women would do some of the approaching and heavy lifting sometimes when it comes to relationships. Let's face it, guys with Aspergers and/or shyness, anxiety, etc, will need some help from the woman if anything is to happen. We'll need someone to approach us.

Offtopic but, I agree with Fnord.

Let's have complete Gender equality says the woman, Sure let's go for it says the man. Hey mind splitting the bill asks the man, What kinda guy are you states the woman.

Or, Hey can you lift that for me, Why should I do it?, Your the man. ect

The main reason that guys have to do the approaching and the paying (as well as the explaining, it seems) is because women have come to take it for granted that that is what men are for.

Thus, equality means that the man asks, the man pays, and a man has to explain why it is so.

Think about it in terms of coitus. In the bedroom it is normal for the man to be dominant in most relationships. Thus, if he is to be considered worthy to dominate there, he must first show his dominance in initiating the relationship. If a man cannot be dominant, how is he going to fulfill the traditional role of protector and provider, especially when the female is pregnant and limited in her ability to do these things for herself? Yes, this all comes off as a bit chauvinistic, but it makes sense from a biological perspective. Plus, most males do not like to be consistently dominated by females. It's just the way men are normally wired.

what a daft and unfair tradition. The effort should come to that of the person who want's to start something. To expect the guy to do ALL the time is just unfair.

Glad I'm single and celibate.

Why I won't approach a guy in person:

I assume that most guys are confident enough to ask me out if they desire to do so. If they don't ask me out, it may because they can tell I'm not the hooking-up type of girl, or they aren't attracted to me. I'm probably too afraid to looked them in the eye half the time to tell if this is the case, therefore, I'm not going to ask them out.

I don't have much confidence and I just can't imagine being able to do this in person. Very few people are less shy and it's common for guys to initiate things, so I just don't worry myself over this too much.

However, I DO message guys first on dating sites. If they looked at my profile and didn't message me, I am less likely to message them, unless they are very exciting. I'll assume they probably looked at my profile, didn't like something, and moved on. If they didn't show up on the visitor list and I see them first, I am much more likely to message them.
I think some guys tend to just message every girl they see. I've heard a lot of guys say they'd be happy with any decent woman. Women have more natural/from-birth value than men, so I think there tends to be more 'quality' females than males on dating sites. And, women are more picky. So, women aren't as likely to message/initiate contact with every guy... But maybe they'd say yes to a guy that tried and put an effort into getting her attention.

Of course, these are thoughts from someone that may be bias, hasn't spoken to but one non-related man in months, and thinks most guys look like big, scary testosterone-driven animals. So.. yeaaahh.

Also, I agree that is probably some hard-wired thing. I would maybe approach men in person if I was not painfully social anxious, but I don't think I'd feel like I 'need' to. Though maybe this would make me look (wrongly) like the dominant type and I'm just really not...

And I want to add:
I believe in neither gender being 'limited', but I don't believe men and women need to act the same.

Ok, that was enough rambling.

Yeah because a lot of people say girls give off subtle, non-verbal hints, to give a guy "The Green Light" in order to make his move, approach, and having Asperger's, one of the main symptoms of that is having extreme difficulty read non-verbal social cues, so reading a girl's hints can be very difficult, although the most obvious and easy body-language to read is eye-contact, others are more difficult

so is it literally in all animal species besides us humans, is it the male that most of the time makes the first move, does the pursuing, chasing, initiating?

I could be placed in the best possible environment for meeting women and would still find it extremely difficult.Most men with AS are socially awkward particularly in crowds.It's great that it worked for you but I don't think I could pull that sort of thing off,unless all of the women were socially awkward also

Im not saying its easy.
However Ive found that if I force myself to go out and be my awkward self around people I wont have to see anymore if anything goes badly for a prolonged period things tend to go better than when I stay home by myself/do something else.

Just so you have an idea, at the start of this summer I met someone that tried to help me when it comes to this whole dating thing.
In less than 3 minutes they already knew what was wrong(I wasnt meeting enough people)because I was freaking out just meeting them(couldnt stop tapping my foot, extremely awkward when one of them tried to put his arm around my shoulder in a friendly way...)

I met them again at the end of summer and we went out to meet people, the first thing they said is that things have improved a lot for me. As you may understand things havent improved by themselves but by making a point to join any free activity that sounds interesting and is free and talking to people there.

Yes I have as and Im unable to approach anyone on the street, however the people at this places are actually looking after being approached and talking to some new people, when I took that into account everything was much simpler.
Yes some of this people have told me that my social skills suck and they are uncomfortable around me not that long ago, however the same people have made a point to make sure that they try to talk and hi/goodbye to me personally everyday because they see that Im trying to work on things.

I stayed home for three months, that got me into a psychiatrist and bible club and I have no intention of going back to the second place/staying at the first one for too long

On this subject; what is the best way to approach a gal? I am soo nervous.....

why is taking charge, taking control a "masculine, manly" thing?