Will probably be single forever

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MXH
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24 Sep 2012, 12:42 am

Palindrome5 wrote:

Well 12 relationships is hardly anything to scoff at. I say just be patient and try and meet others through a mutual interest. For example if you like to cycle join a cycling club, if you like to cook take cooking classes, etc.

The OP gave me the impression you couldn't even get into a relationship with guys. What you actually mean is you have trouble finding a man you have strong feelings for. To claim you'll be single forever is akin to saying you're so incompatible with others that the right man will never come along, which is silly.

yea i was thinking like the hundreds of guys around here that she had zero relationships. like zero chance of one. Not zero good ones and 12 bad ones

WantToHaveALife
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24 Sep 2012, 1:05 am

Cad wrote:

Hi all,
I've come to the realisation that I will probably be single forever. Back in my home town all my school friends have got married and had kids, and my brother is on that path as is my closest friend. Where I live and study now there's probably 50% of my friends who are single also (for many reasons), so it's not a big deal here, but my parents are often concerned that I'll have to find someone, and everytime I meet someone I'm not into they say 'what's wrong with him/why not/you can't be too picky etc.'

I'm not all that angry about being single forever, the only 2 real annoyances are that I may not have kids (I am 23 so this isn't a huge deal right now) and the fact I have to justify myself to everyone and people, mostly people in my family and from my home town, think it's because I'm selfish and uncaring.

I have had boyfriends in the past although I am a virgin, but I have fallen in love 3 times with different guys but it didn't work out for various reasons. Now everytime I meet a guy if I'm not in love like I have been it just feels empty and fake and I'd rather be single. Why can't people understand this?

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else out there is probably going to be single forever by choice or not.

from what i've noticed, women reject men for way more reasons than men reject women

wtfid2
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24 Sep 2012, 2:06 am

redrobin62 wrote:

I'm 50. You can just imagine how many I've grown up with that got married and had kids. Yep. I'm the odd man out. It disturbs me but I think at 23 years old at least you still have a fighting chance. Me? Not so much.

hers is by choice

op i will be single for my entire life...i know it. mine is not by choice though

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24 Sep 2012, 3:13 am

Firstly I was in a mood so the OP may have come off a bit 'woe is me.' I should've asked if anyone has opted to be single and how that has worked out rather than having to endure bad relationships. I'd rather have one single good relationship than the trainwrecks I've had because every bad one just makes me less optimistic.

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886
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24 Sep 2012, 4:39 am

If you want love or kids it should be because you want them, you're ready for it and have room for it in your life, not because of societal reasons or to feel like you should..

If they don't pan out, it's not like it's the end of the world, you learn what works and what doesn't, it's a good learning experience of what you want and move on. Honestly, you have it pretty good.

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24 Sep 2012, 8:30 am

Cad wrote:

I kept falling in love with various women and making a mess of things until I was in my early 40s. When women seemed attracted to me, I pushed them away. I suppose without planning to I made choices that resulted in me being single all my life. It wasn't other people who made the choices for me. There are things I regret, but there are things that are good about it.

Maybe 5 or more years ago, something seems to have switched off. Now while I have a vague feeling that it would be nice to have the benefits of a relationship; companionship, emotional support etc, I just don't give it much thought. I'm happy having the freedom I have and not having to make the compromises necessary for another person. I look at other people's relationships and frankly, I'm relieved to not have to deal with those troubles.

Obviously it's not a lifestyle that's going to work for everyone. I don't know if I will change my mind some day... At this point it doesn't seem likely. I guess the key thing is you have to have other things in your life. Work or creative goals. Also I do have a few friends who provide emotional support. Without them I don't think I could manage.

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DialAForAwesome
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24 Sep 2012, 8:50 am

2wheels4ever wrote:

I see it along the lines of this: once you've tasted the best pizza in your life, it seems as if every other pizza after that might as well be from the microwave, or even worse; ketchup on a slice of bread. Only, the best chances of getting another pizza like your favorite may mean having to pay a bit more for it and it may be at the pizzaria on the the next block over. Just what I see from starving in the desert while everyone else is waving their slices around under my nose

This is how I feel right now. Basically the last girl I really liked was actually almost completely perfect for me, and the other girls now just seem like nothing to me. There is a girl at work who is practically throwing herself at me (and she's kinda cute too) but I just don't care.

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24 Sep 2012, 1:34 pm

Cad wrote:

it is everyone's dream to have one good relationship lol. That was how it was in the older days...people were married for 50 plus yrs.

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WantToHaveALife
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24 Sep 2012, 2:20 pm

i really would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

2wheels4ever
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24 Sep 2012, 4:28 pm

wtfid2 wrote:

Cad wrote:

it is everyone's dream to have one good relationship lol. That was how it was in the older days...people were married for 50 plus yrs.

I see that in my grandparents, one side was married 55 years until my grandpa died. It's a knife in my heart that there are still stories like that and here I am, the firstborn of all of my cousins and the last, if ever, to produce offspring. That tends to weigh on one's soul

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MXH
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24 Sep 2012, 5:11 pm

2wheels4ever wrote:

wtfid2 wrote:

Cad wrote:

it is everyone's dream to have one good relationship lol. That was how it was in the older days...people were married for 50 plus yrs.

lol. my parents have been married 22 years, my grandparents 60something years. I already had to tell my mom i hope she didnt want grandchildren soon cause she isnt going to get them from me

Cad
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24 Sep 2012, 6:40 pm

Thanks guys for the replies...I guess I should just count my blessings, eh?

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25 Sep 2012, 9:11 pm

i often times feel if i was born a girl i would have had a boyfriend, lost my virginity a long time ago eventhough i'm straight

billiscool
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26 Sep 2012, 4:56 pm

Cad wrote:

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else out there is probably going to be single forever by choice or not.

I most likely is going be single as well. Unless some cool fun women come up to me and want to have a relationship, then yes maybe.
But most women don't come and talk to me anyways. Yeah that sucks for you. I sure there nice man who wouldn't mind being with you,

WantToHaveALife
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26 Sep 2012, 6:02 pm

billiscool wrote:

Cad wrote:

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else out there is probably going to be single forever by choice or not.

yeah since women can be passive but men can't

Cad
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26 Sep 2012, 6:13 pm

billiscool wrote:

But most women don't come and talk to me anyways. Yeah that sucks for you. I sure there nice man who wouldn't mind being with you,

Damn...maybe you should talk to them? There are plenty of nice men who have wanted to be with me, I just haven't reciprocated their feelings. If I could do that, choose who I'm attracted to, I wouldn't be single.

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