Should high schools teach how to date?

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blue_bean
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26 Sep 2012, 8:52 am

No, I think mixing dating together with the lack of imagination of the school system would not work out well :?. And you'd probably have some schools unwilling to teach it, and of course some parents unwilling to have their kids attend the class.

I think schools should be teaching kids how to have stable relations in general. With the rates of divorce/separation these days and loads of kids with single parents & half siblings, they're not getting exposed to any examples of how a stable loving relationship should be. They'll end up thinking that going from one relationship to the next, and to the next, and to the next and so forth, is how relationships are supposed to go.



spongy
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26 Sep 2012, 11:08 am

I think that before discussing wether they should teach you how to date maybe we should consider wether they should teach you how to try to get a job and several other things that are more related to highschool and equally needed in life if not more.



Janissy
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26 Sep 2012, 11:52 am

So many other posters have given excellent and valid reasons why it shouldn't be done. So I'll be a little different and give a reason why it actually can't be done.

It can't be done because the 'rules' (such as they are) of highschool dating are set by other highschoolers, not by adults, and they change over time and place. Adult teachers can't teach what they don't know. The only people in the school who know how to get a date with another highschoolers, what to do on a date, what is expected conversation and boundaries etc.- are other highschoolers. This knowledge is cultural knowledge and spreads horizontally, not vertically. Several posters noted that most highschoolers pick this up on their own and thus there wouldn't be much need for this class and few would sign up for it. I'll go one step farther and say that not only would most highschoolers not need the class, most highschoolers would know far more about it than any adult teacher, making the lessons useless unless taught (somehow) by another highschooler.

Hyperlexian suggests it could be a way to prevent date rape. I think kids do need to know both the ethical and the legal boundaries (for example, statutory rape laws which vary geographically) but that could easily be folded into a sex ed class, since it's information that could be transmitted in one class session or less.

Spongy says that the need for lessons in how to get a job are needed much more. I agree with that. Not only is employment far more crucial, it's an area where the rules are set by adults (unlike highschool dating) so the teachers really do know more about it than the students.

I'm not saying that highschool teachers never dated in highschool and that's why they wouldn't know. I'm saying that the rules that applied in the highschool they went to will not be the same 15 years later.



BlueMax
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26 Sep 2012, 1:49 pm

Maybe rather than "dating" - I'd prefer if "social studies" was less about learning what famous people did and more about how people interact with each other at a very human level. This would be best in grades 1-4! Maybe understanding social behaviours earlier on means we would have fewer outcasts and bullies *later*.

Unfortunately, the teacher must be able to teach it... that's a tall order.

One of my ex-wife's psychotic friends was a manipulator - possibly even a sociopath. She lied her way into a teaching position for a couple years despite not being able to even spell! I feel bad for those kids...



Taverson
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26 Sep 2012, 1:58 pm

Absolutely not.

American schools have enough problems teaching kids to read, do mental math, and write coherent sentences with proper spelling.


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Fnord
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26 Sep 2012, 2:25 pm

atdevel wrote:
Should high schools teach how to date?

Why not? Many high schools allow the teaching of proper condom use; so if the students are going to learn about sex from a high school teacher, why shouldn't they also learn about dating from a high school teacher?


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BlueMax
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26 Sep 2012, 2:51 pm

Taverson wrote:
Absolutely not.

American schools have enough problems teaching kids to read, do mental math, and write coherent sentences with proper spelling.


I get the impression most schools are just boys n' girls' clubs to babysit them while their parents are at work. They'll learn *a little*... but mostly just how to survive against their peer group.



BanjoGirl
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26 Sep 2012, 3:54 pm

Students would laugh at the professor if he tried to teach that...


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The_Walrus
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26 Sep 2012, 4:01 pm

Fnord wrote:
atdevel wrote:
Should high schools teach how to date?

Why not? Many high schools allow the teaching of proper condom use; so if the students are going to learn about sex from a high school teacher, why shouldn't they also learn about dating from a high school teacher?

Use of a condom is black and white, right and wrong.

Dating, flirting, and so forth, less so- there are some behaviours that we could probably all agree were wrong, but we wouldn't agree on what was right.



Janissy
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26 Sep 2012, 4:47 pm

BanjoGirl wrote:
Students would laugh at the professor if he tried to teach that...


Exactly- since they know more about it than he does (since his knowledge is limited to what is appropriate between adults and what the rules were when he was in highschool).

The appropriate way to flirt, how to ask for a date, what to do on a date- all that is decided by the students doing the dating. An adult who tried to interject their own ideas would be laughed at.

In fact, they were laughed at when they attempted to do it in the 1950's. My parents were highschoolers at the time (very tail end of the 50's) and my mom told me of hilarious attempts by the teachers to set the rules for what was an acceptable date and how to go about doing it. There were even booklets. The students found it all very comical and went about their business doing things exactly the way they wanted to.



Ai_Ling
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26 Sep 2012, 4:58 pm

I guess some class that addresses social issues and social norms for regular students. But it would be a more, what do you think about that type of class. I had one of those. But as for a class that really breaks down "how to do something" ehh no. I guess the resources for aspies and other socially awkward students that need those services really should expand. But I dont think it should be a mainstream school thing.



nick007
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26 Sep 2012, 9:26 pm

This would never happen in conservative part of the US because the parents would freak about how dating would lead to sex.


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billiscool
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26 Sep 2012, 10:51 pm

no



DogsWithoutHorses
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27 Sep 2012, 11:19 am

no
the point of public education is to provide a literate electorate and competetive workforce

getting you a date is not a national priority


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BlueMax
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27 Sep 2012, 11:58 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
no
the point of public education is to provide a literate electorate and competetive workforce

getting you a date is not a national priority

Heh - true... especially since literacy and competency doesn't seem to be a priority either. ;)

Heck... other than childcare for their working parents, I'm beginning to really wonder why schools continue to exist at all!



RightGalaxy
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27 Sep 2012, 1:14 pm

YES!! !! !! !! !! !! !! :) My son's middle school teaches about relationships in Health class. I'm pleased. A course in dating would allow two kids to relate to something and thus follow rules.
If you get pressured into sex, you can be your own lawyer with written backup from class.