this is why i only get first dates

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That depends on the type of man he is and the type of woman he wants to attract.

If I see a photo of an attractive guy topless and lifting iron, I move on to the next profile, on the basis that he's clearly a self-obsessed, shallow, vain, self-loving jerk. Granted, photos like that are appealing to the eye, but that's about all.

If you want to let ladies know that you pump iron at the gym and have a pretty decent body, all it takes is a few lines in your profile saying "ladies, I pump iron at the gym and have a pretty decent body." That will arouse interest without actually showing anything off. Plus, it arouses curiosity and makes ladies think: "oooh, I wonder if he has a very nice body? I wonder what it looks like?" There's a lot to be said for keeping private things private and maintaining some mystery and modesty on both sides - but sadly, most fit men do not like to do that. Instead, they like to post in-your-face topless pictures of themselves posing like porn stars or personal trainers.

Clearly, the OP is not one of those kind of awful guys, because he is not posting photos that imply that he is. He is posting photos in which he looks attractive, yet awkward and shy. That's a very winning combination. Attractive and shy is a far nicer combination than attractive and arrogant, in my opinion. It would be a shame for him to take your advice and give out the impression that he is a confident, self-obssessed, shallow, vain, self-loving jerk. That would mean that all the wrong types of women would flock to him like flies, and when they arrived he would not know how to live up to the fake persona he'd created in his photos thanks to your generic advice.

OP, speaking as a female, I do not think you look ugly at all. I think you look very nice.

I agree with other people saying that you just need some closer-up photos of your face and some less blurry full-body shots. No need to take off your top though. No need to downgrade yourself to the category of yet another vain man desperate to attract shallow women by showing off his body.

*Reads OP's profile again*

OK, so you're a power-lifter and people tell you you look like Keanu Reeves?

Clearly, the problem is NOT ugliness! You must have a nice body AND a nice face!

Also, you are a genuine certified personal trainer, yet you are also modest and shy enough NOT to take self-loving, vain topless photos of yourself showing off your muscle?

Ladies, what's wrong with you all? This guy is a gem! Go and get him!

P.S. Also, he has a gorgeous fuzzy dog. What's not to love?

So basically you encourage people to tell outright lies about their appearance?

Why?

What's the point of lying to impress people?

Surely when people meet you in real life they will immediately notice that your claim that you resemble Keanu Reeves was a lie?

Oh I see.

I was gonna say, it COULD be his attitude towards women, then I remembered there are guys with worse attitudes than him about women who can get and keep them quite easily. Maybe just bad luck?

That's pretty mature lol. Keep on getting on here calling women "b*****s" and calling out the few who like you.

thanks for the replies im lazy now so i will reply later ons. but just wanted to say that i once WAS told by an online friend that i looked like keanu..although when i mentioned that to someone irl she laughed at me(although she wasn't really nice).As for the personal training thing, I guess technically if i wanted to practice i could, but i just got some sh***y online cert that cheated on and never paid the money for them to mail it to me. I was just looking for something cheap to let me train people in my house...although never went and got fliers to find people so my occupation is student...although im slacking on that as well as i have to apply for grad school.Im not gonna act like i dont lie at all bc I do. unfortunately I have to lie to girls about my sexual history if I ever want that to change. Also girls won't date a guy if he as no job so i fudge that as well but im otherwise honest.

wolfheart I don't kiss the girls on the first date. I usually take the for a cup of coffee bc Ill be honest,i do not feel like paying for an expensive or even cheap meal when the girl will prob not like me anyway lol. Ironically my dates have lasted 2hours just sitting and talking. I do recall on my last ever date i was picking apart the paper straws come in...LOL.

To whoever asked how big the sample size is.....I rarely get girls in real life or online to actually meet me for a date. I've been on 3 first dates from pof that's it.

So basically you encourage people to tell outright lies about their appearance?

Why?

What's the point of lying to impress people?

Surely when people meet you in real life they will immediately notice that your claim that you resemble Keanu Reeves was a lie?

i didnt say b***h once in my post. I wasnt making fun of you when i said i think im photogenic. You said you are.

I have a bit of advice... If all you do is go to a coffee shop, they probably think you're boring, cheap, or both, and possibly other things depending on how the conversation goes. Take them to see a movie and possibly dinner. it doesn't have to be anything fancy necessarily, just ask where they'd like to eat. Try showing up with flowers; They tend to like that.

Also, a lot of your responses to the questions on OKcupid seem rather generic and mysterious... I think you should be more specific. If I were looking for a girl, and all the answers were just kinda playful, mysterious, generic BS, I'd most likely just move on. The more specific you are, the more likely you are to find what you're looking for.