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1000Knives
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08 Nov 2012, 2:57 am

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Really? Because most of my male middle class 18-29 friends ARE NOT getting married. Nor do they want to keep women in the kitchen or anywhere in the house for that matter. Marriage is useless to men. What’s the point? To end up like our dads, being bad mouthed by mom, aliened from our families while we work two jobs just to make ends meet? Seeing as how most of us have ended up with no dad until we were 18+, in divorced households and told how much guys suck, it is clear that women have no interest in marrying us except to later take us to divorce court as soon as it pleases her. If she wants to date that’s fine but since she has more education opportunities, more interest in slaving at work and NO interest in actually loving anyone; you can count us out. Women are free now… free to get her own place, live how she wants and work where she wants. Just don’t expect us to move in and pay her bills while she talks trash about us at work all day like 90% of our female co-workers do. Mother always said to NOT be like dad… and by NOT being dumb enough to get married we plan to not even come close to doing what dad did. He ruined his life with marriage; we aren’t going to do the same. So please speak for yourself because your 1950's ideas of marriage died a long time ago.


That comment posted there hit me hard.



meems
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08 Nov 2012, 2:57 am

This thread is just an excuse to bash someone. The "tone" of her article? BS, even the husband of the author agrees with her, yet several people here are trying to read between the lines for something completely different than what the article actually says.


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ValentineWiggin
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08 Nov 2012, 3:02 am

meems wrote:
This thread is just an excuse to bash someone. The "tone" of her article? BS, even the husband of the author agrees with her, yet several people here are trying to read between the lines for something completely different than what the article actually says.


It's a Ricky thread.

You'll also notice that the day of the week ends in "y".


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ValentineWiggin
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08 Nov 2012, 3:04 am

Evinceo wrote:
It's an act of altruism, not an automatic thing.

The indictment of this kind of false dichotomy when it comes to men is sort of the point of the post, I think...
altruism is most certainly an "automatic" part of the human and for that matter animal condition,
and for good evolutionary reason.


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Evy7
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08 Nov 2012, 3:07 am

If I were in the same situation as her, I would be grateful indeed. If people were to remind me of how I should be garteful, I would take that as a compliment because they are saying my husband is really great! So the author shouldn't even be complaining about it. To whoever tells her that, she should smile ands say she is really happy to have a loving husband. Sometimes, people tend to forget how good they have it.



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08 Nov 2012, 3:19 am

Peeps didn't read. Misleading title is misleading.


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08 Nov 2012, 3:25 am

I hope that isn't refered to me. I didn't even read the title. I read what she wrote. Like I said, why is she even mad when people remind her of the good in her life? I would like people to point good things out in my life. Obviously she takes offense when she shouldn't.



meems
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08 Nov 2012, 3:34 am

Evy7 wrote:
I hope that isn't refered to me. I didn't even read the title. I read what she wrote. Like I said, why is she even mad when people remind her of the good in her life? I would like people to point good things out in my life. Obviously she takes offense when she shouldn't.


She never said she was mad at being reminded of the good in her life. It's something much bigger than that.

And maybe you take offense when you shouldn't, but who knows, maybe neither of us are qualified to decide when someone other than ourselves should or shouldn't take offense at something?


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08 Nov 2012, 3:39 am

I already read about it. I know what she is saying, but so what? She still should be grateful tot he people reminding her. She says she shouldn't be reminded because she is deserving of love and acceptance. Well, of course all living human beings are deserving of love and acceptance! BUT! In this world, not everyone gets love and acceptance; it's actually hard to come by, therefore, she should be thankful and people can compliment her on her husband and how she was able to find love and acceptance when so many don't have that. So she shouldn't even be complaining about it. But that's my opinion and I respect that you disagree, so be it. :)



meems
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08 Nov 2012, 3:44 am

She shouldn't complain, but you should complain about her? Is this entire thread pointless, since we're apparently discussing an entirely pointless article?


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Evy7
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08 Nov 2012, 3:45 am

My opinion was she shouldn't be looking at it in a negative manner. It is my opinion, and I am entitled to it. I can state my opinion because this is a thread.



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08 Nov 2012, 4:28 am

I get where she's coming from.

I'm grateful for my partner, incredibly so. But if people were to constantly remind me how grateful I should be, without saying the same to her, it would come across as though they think I'm not good enough for her.

Which may well be true. But that's her decision to make, and other's opinions on the matter are not desired or welcome.


And the only reason someone should raise a kid that's not theirs is because they want to. Shouldn't enter into a relationship with a single parent unless you actually want the child in your life as well. And if that's the case, then people should be telling them how lucky they are to have each other, not just her.


ValentineWiggin wrote:
And what does it say about our view of men that her husband is made out to be some kind of hero for loving her and her son? The post can be said to about a certain kind of misandry, I think, a conception of men as less-than-human in their capacities.


Seriously. It's insulting. If this is all it takes for them to consider him some kind of saint, what must they think the average guy is like?

It kinda reminds of when I was a kid and my dad lost his job. People would go on and on to my mom about how great she was for supporting us while he found a new one. After a while it really started to bother them. What did they expect her to do? Leave her man just because he lost his job? Or did they just not think she was capable of supporting us?


People just need to keep their opinions the hell out of other people's relationships.


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08 Nov 2012, 5:16 am

Evy7 wrote:
My opinion was she shouldn't be looking at it in a negative manner. It is my opinion, and I am entitled to it. I can state my opinion because this is a thread.


The comments made to the woman weren't about the "good things" her husband had to offer, but about those things being somehow EXCEPTIONAL in a man.


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08 Nov 2012, 6:47 am

[joke]Common VWiggin its totally ok to make fun of someone's complaints about society making them seem like a burden rather than a partner.
We do however expect you to be fully sympathetic of the males that are going through a similar process on this forum because lets face it,being a male makes everything 100x harder

[/joke]

Also Im happy to see that you found it funny but are you guys in a position to judge?
Do you get tired of people telling you you are wasting your money in hookers RICKI5?, this is exactly the same situation and Im pretty sure you wouldnt want someone making fun of your complaints about how society treats users of the sex industry



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08 Nov 2012, 8:31 am

Maybe her child's a total brat and they're glad it's not their problem :lol:



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08 Nov 2012, 8:59 am

mds_02 wrote:
It kinda reminds of when I was a kid and my dad lost his job. People would go on and on to my mom about how great she was for supporting us while he found a new one. After a while it really started to bother them. What did they expect her to do? Leave her man just because he lost his job? Or did they just not think she was capable of supporting us?


I like tis example. The woman's husband is a decent human being, and after the initial good luck of finding someone like him, the rest should come automatically. I remember a friend's mother was pressured to divorce her husband when his business went bankrupt, but she refused and kept by his side. While that's certainly worth praising and it shows that she's loyal through thick and thin and likes him for who he is instead of what he has, good relationships are supposed to be that way anyway. Had she left, I'd have had a really low opinion of her.


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