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Am I being shit-tested here?

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bucephalus
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27 Nov 2012, 4:16 pm

let us know how you get on after her exams :)


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27 Nov 2012, 11:38 pm

Title made me think of Gillian Mckeith


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starryeyedvoyager
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28 Nov 2012, 1:41 am

bucephalus wrote:
let us know how you get on after her exams :)


Well, not much to be worth noting. I texted her, asking her how it was, she replied immediately, telling me about it and asking me if everything was okay with me. I replied with some casual information and then asked if she was available this week for the suggested meeting... but as expected she didn't reply. Don't know what I did wrong, I mean I wasn't exactly asking her to run away with me and get married, just for the hook up she suggested, and I don't get why she just doesn't give me a clear answer... Oh well, time to move on, I guess :/.


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Shau
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28 Nov 2012, 3:52 am

starryeyedvoyager wrote:
bucephalus wrote:
let us know how you get on after her exams :)


Well, not much to be worth noting. I texted her, asking her how it was, she replied immediately, telling me about it and asking me if everything was okay with me. I replied with some casual information and then asked if she was available this week for the suggested meeting... but as expected she didn't reply. Don't know what I did wrong, I mean I wasn't exactly asking her to run away with me and get married, just for the hook up she suggested, and I don't get why she just doesn't give me a clear answer... Oh well, time to move on, I guess :/.


Before you move on, you might as well try the blunt, direct approach, since at this point you have little to lose. At the very least, the information you get could be illuminating for your next encounter with a girl. "Listen, I'm tired of getting strung around, it's frankly starting to irritate me. What's the deal already?"



bucephalus
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28 Nov 2012, 5:22 am

Shau wrote:
starryeyedvoyager wrote:
bucephalus wrote:
let us know how you get on after her exams :)


Well, not much to be worth noting. I texted her, asking her how it was, she replied immediately, telling me about it and asking me if everything was okay with me. I replied with some casual information and then asked if she was available this week for the suggested meeting... but as expected she didn't reply. Don't know what I did wrong, I mean I wasn't exactly asking her to run away with me and get married, just for the hook up she suggested, and I don't get why she just doesn't give me a clear answer... Oh well, time to move on, I guess :/.


Before you move on, you might as well try the blunt, direct approach, since at this point you have little to lose. At the very least, the information you get could be illuminating for your next encounter with a girl. "Listen, I'm tired of getting strung around, it's frankly starting to irritate me. What's the deal already?"


I'm not too sure about that. If it was me I would rather keep my dignity intact than sacrifice it for sake of some feedback. Who knows, the illuminating information could be incorrect and damaging


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Shau
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28 Nov 2012, 5:44 am

bucephalus wrote:
I'm not too sure about that. If it was me I would rather keep my dignity intact than sacrifice it for sake of some feedback. Who knows, the illuminating information could be incorrect and damaging


You are correct that the information could be incorrect (which is why it pays to always take things with a grain of salt), but in no way does being direct, blunt, and honest compromise one's dignity. Seriously? Are you telling me that one of our biggest AS characteristics (Blunt honesty) is undignified?



bucephalus
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28 Nov 2012, 6:49 am

I don't think society is quite ready for full-frontal honesty just yet


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Shau
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28 Nov 2012, 6:57 am

bucephalus wrote:
I don't think society is quite ready for full-frontal honesty just yet.


Fair enough, but that still doesn't make it undignified.



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28 Nov 2012, 7:09 am

Shau wrote:
bucephalus wrote:
I don't think society is quite ready for full-frontal honesty just yet.


Fair enough, but that still doesn't make it undignified.

full frontal honesty is the ONLY dignity, it is unfair to someone not to truly share your mind



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28 Nov 2012, 8:40 am

Well, I might do that. Right now, while still being more than just confused, I don't give a damn. I do think she is bullshitting me right now, as she made yet another excuse why she's not coming to college right now, and I can't be bothered with this type of affair. Without wanting to seem stalkeresque, I know she has some lectures tomorrow, and since I'll be there anyways, I might casually drop by to see if she really isn't there or not, passing along the hallways when the lecture ends. After all, this is how we met in the first place. She said she'd tell me again if she's coming again, and for my own personal closure on this, might as well check if she's been bullshitting me the whole time or not.

I'd prefer the direct approach as well, but I am aware that this is not the social norm, and hey: She's been playing games so far, might as well play by her rules^^.



Shau
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28 Nov 2012, 8:44 am

starryeyedvoyager wrote:
I'd prefer the direct approach as well, but I am aware that this is not the social norm, and hey: She's been playing games so far, might as well play by her rules^^.


People can be funny, and act in all kinds of unpredictable ways. She might respect your forwardness and drop the games, you never know. Just make sure you don't have to be constantly dealing with her down the line, and you've really got nothing to lose, and possibly something to gain.



mv
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28 Nov 2012, 9:48 am

It sounds to me like she wants to be thought of as a very supportive casual friend, but that she does not want any intimacy (emotional or physical) with you. She's being passive-aggressive with her contact, hoping above all hope that you'll get the hint.



Shau
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28 Nov 2012, 10:14 am

mv wrote:
It sounds to me like she wants to be thought of as a very supportive casual friend, but that she does not want any intimacy (emotional or physical) with you. She's being passive-aggressive with her contact, hoping above all hope that you'll get the hint.


Unfortunately, that technique can also solidly double as "dicking someone around", even if without malicious intent, and is behavior that needs to be discouraged.



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28 Nov 2012, 10:24 am

Oh ffs just ditch the girl!

It's crystal clear that she sees you as nothing more but this:

Image



The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Nov 2012, 10:32 am

Did they take samples of your feces?



starryeyedvoyager
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28 Nov 2012, 10:47 am

Uprising wrote:
Oh ffs just ditch the girl!

It's crystal clear that she sees you as nothing more but this:


Oh, don't worry, I will. Just want to get personal closure on this and see if she was really bullshitting me so I can spot and avoid this kind of behaviour the next time. If nothing else, I want to get as much experience out of this as I can.