Women seem to be attracted to guys with psychological disord

Page 2 of 5 [ 66 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Next

Joined: 7 May 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 365

09 Dec 2012, 1:53 pm

Though there are both men and women who fit each mold - were I to define it in a grossly oversimplified way:

- "Nice" guys are able to enjoy women for intellectual stimulation, they respect boundaries and care about other's happiness as much (or more) than their own.

- "Not nice" guys use all pretense to get women into bed. They womanize, using a girl's self-esteem against her. They care mostly about their own selfish means of stimulation.

I think we could come to some agreement on parameters of these terms... it's not all perspective - humans have innate grounded emotions and experiences that could be used generally to outline such queries.

aspiemike
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,303
Location: Canada

09 Dec 2012, 2:03 pm

Vomelche wrote:

Aspinator wrote:

In my experiences, women are not attracted to people they tend to view as nutjobs.

Yeah I`d say this. I don't think anyone is attracted to mental illness anyway.

Or in some cases, what they perceive to be mental illness. Not quite the same as a real mental illness, but both men and women only go with what they feel in most circumstances. Not with what the intentions the other person has.

BlueMax
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,285

09 Dec 2012, 2:05 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

because women are walking psychological issues.

DUN DUNNN DUNNNNNNNN

http://www.dramabutton.com/

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw[/youtube]

machf
Deinonychus

Joined: 1 Jan 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 324
Location: Lima, Peru

09 Dec 2012, 3:03 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:

As a women with Asperger's I could never understand that about NT women. Do they really think they can "fix" or "change" a bad boy? Don't they know you can't change a guy's problems, only he can, and only if he really wants to?

As a friend's brother said some days ago (don't know if he was quoting from someone else): the woman thinks she can change the man, the man thinks the woman will never ever change, and they are both wrong.

Quote:

I may not be perfect, and in the past I've been a real witch sometimes, but generally I'm really a total goody-two-shoes. I don't drink, I don't smoke, what do I do? :lol:

Go watch a good movie, maybe?

Quote:

My idea of a wild night is to drink real coffee instead of warm tea and then dance like the characters in A Charlie Brown Christmas. :lol:

Mine doesn't involve coffee or dancing... more likely something like bowling, maybe.

MXH
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,057
Location: Here i stand and face the rain

09 Dec 2012, 3:05 pm

because normal nice guys are boring as f**k. Crazy bad boys are exciting.

smudge
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Sep 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,716
Location: Moved on

09 Dec 2012, 3:22 pm

SilkySifaka wrote:

He is the only person I have been out with who hasn't tried to 'fix' me, and that is why our relationship has lasted so long. Previous boyfriends became frustrated and despondent when I didn't get better, despite all their efforts.

Out of curiosity - in what ways did they try to *fix* you?

SilkySifaka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,396
Location: UK

09 Dec 2012, 3:27 pm

smudge wrote:

SilkySifaka wrote:

Out of curiosity - in what ways did they try to *fix* you?

I think they hoped that if they were nice to me that I would become happier, or that they could somehow make up for negative/traumatic past experiences. When I had an eating disorder one of my boyfriends would work very hard to try and get to me to eat, but making it a big deal just made me worse. In the past I have made repeated suicide attempts, and some people take that personally which is understandable. They became unhappy that they could not make me happy and eventually those relationships ended. I certainly never asked or expected that they would make it all better, I have always been quite clear that self-improvement is my job, not theirs.

Uprising
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Jan 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,908

09 Dec 2012, 3:28 pm

MXH wrote:

because normal nice guys are boring as f**k. Crazy bad boys are exciting.

This basically.

Nice guys get seen a lot as:

and

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKL3rjDLVvs[/youtube]

Adam82
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 29 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 615

09 Dec 2012, 3:56 pm

MacDragard wrote:

Crazy to believe but true. I'm not necessarily referring to autism, but more like the type that make you unstable, such as certain panic disorders and whatnot or even really severe anti-social disorders. A lot of women are more attracted to said guys over the nice, clean-cut and well-rounded guys because they make their lives more exciting and think that they could heal these guys...plus a lot of these women tend to have their own psychological disorders that they're good at masking.

So if you do have a psychological disorder, you're in good company.

Rubbish. Autistic men often have severe trouble in the dating department.

CrazyStarlightRedux
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Jan 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,028
Location: Manchester, UK.

09 Dec 2012, 4:11 pm

transformingcar wrote:

I don't know if your being sarcastic or what, but the thing is the fact that women date everyone but the nice guy, is in fact, A FACT.
I don't know if it's becuase they think the bad boy is cool, or if they just like the abuse. but it ticks me off. anyway, that's all i got to say...

To be honest, I was being both.

Not serious enough to care but care enough to worry about the whole board's obsession that "Nice guys finish last".

It's not a fact at all...the problem is this board not trying hard enough, girls want nice guys but they don't put in much effort like they claim they do.

True...I don't have anyone (and have not done so since I was 16), but I don't try....so it's my own damn fault...but claiming that Nice guys don't get anywhere is a blatent lie....look for the right woman and try harder to make yourself stand out as a nice guy who is exciting!

_________________
Just a guy who gives advice and talks a lot.

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

09 Dec 2012, 5:08 pm

Quote:

Women seem to be attracted to guys with psychological disord

ohhhhhhh NOW i know what "women" are attracted to. thanks so much for explaining, OP. of course, my own tastes and personal history prove otherwise, but i sure appreciate that you're explaining who i must be attracted to. i was confused before, thinking that i am dating a well-adjusted, nice, cool and stable man. now it's all cleared up for me, i must actually like crazy bad boys. my mistake. :lol:

_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105

AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

09 Dec 2012, 5:17 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

Quote:

Women seem to be attracted to guys with psychological disord

Would that make us aspies crazy bad boys then if so count me in.

_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

09 Dec 2012, 5:19 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

Quote:

Women seem to be attracted to guys with psychological disord

Would that make us aspies crazy bad boys then if so count me in.

hahaha it must!

_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105

abyssquick
Deinonychus

Joined: 7 May 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 365

09 Dec 2012, 5:24 pm

MXH wrote:

because normal nice guys are boring as f**k. Crazy bad boys are exciting.

Bad boys don't actually care about you on a significant emotional level - that's why their sense of humor is so asshole-ish. That's why they often avoid using first names, and casually use pet names**. That's why they play games. That's why you're not their only girl (though many often hide their oscillations). That's a high risk game.

When you finally do have enough years of their BS, and perhaps grow out of them, as many girls do in their late 20's, the really "nice guys" will then be deterred from dating you. Even if you don't find them boring. You see, girls who express past interest in "bad boys" and "players" (often one and the same) send up a red-flag of high emotional risk. Nice guys learn to avoid these girls, having been burned / ditched by them for being "boring" -- nice guys learn this lesson right around the same time girls get tired of dead-end "bad boy" types.

It's a catch-22. You think we're boring now... but we're also the ones who ultimately get to choose. Nice guys are the only ones who really mean it.
(Speaking very generally -- not absolute; just on principle)

**edited due to confusion re: what I meant - see follow-up post for more clarification

Last edited by abyssquick on 09 Dec 2012, 7:11 pm, edited 3 times in total.

MXH
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,057
Location: Here i stand and face the rain

09 Dec 2012, 5:30 pm

abyssquick wrote:

MXH wrote:

because normal nice guys are boring as f**k. Crazy bad boys are exciting.

Speaking very generally, only on principle - not absolute --

Bad boys don't actually care about you on the same level - that's why their sense of humor is so as*hole-ish. That's why they use pet names. That's why you're not their only girl (though they often hide it). That's a high risk game in many respects.

When you finally do have enough years of their BS, and perhaps grow out of them (as many girls do in their late 20's), the really "nice guys" will be deterred from dating you. Even if you don't find them boring. You see, girls who express past interest in "bad boys" and in "players" (often one and the same) send up a red flag of high emotional risk - guys learn to avoid these girls, having been burned and ditched by them for being "boring" -- this lesson happens right around the time girls get tired of the dead-end "bad boy" types.

It's a catch-22. You think we're boring now... but we're also the ones who ultimately get to choose who we want to be with. Nice guys are the only ones who really mean it.

thats not the exactly case in this new world of marrying young and all that craze that goes along.

abyssquick
Deinonychus

Joined: 7 May 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 365

09 Dec 2012, 5:34 pm

MXH wrote:

abyssquick wrote:

MXH wrote:

thats not the exactly case in this new world of marrying young and all that craze that goes along.

Hence my qualifier.

Page 2 of 5 [ 66 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Next

Jump to:

Women seem to be attracted to guys with psychological disord Post Reply New Topic

Women seem to be attracted to guys with psychological disord