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Fixation on the word "date"

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minervx
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12 Dec 2012, 5:45 pm

aspiesandra27 wrote:
Minervx you said there are ways of showing other than saying. That's all very well, but I am rubbish at understanding things like body language, expressions, etc. So, I need things to be well defined.

Plus, I do like the word "date".

If a guy says: I'd like to go out on a date with you"...I automatically know he is interested in me for more than friendship :)


1. I guess we all gotta meet half way. NT's gotta be more understanding to people who are less responsive to subtle cues, but Aspies gotta work at improving on them at the same time.

2. I guess it would depend on the case. If you are clearly interested in the guy and he says date, then that's great for both of you. But many cases, women are unsure if they are totally into a guy yet, usually 50/50 at some point since it takes more time for women to develop interest generally.



aspiesandra27
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12 Dec 2012, 6:51 pm

The "appointment" I mentioned somewhere, was meant as a sarcastic remark for a person I was seeing. It felt like an appointment in the end, rather than a date.

Fnord kindly explained all three. Thank you Fnord.

Then, before going round criticising, keep in mind not everyone here is born and bred "english". I am quite proud that I am able to speak 6 languages, and if on occasion I might use a word inappropriately, it wouldn't be a bad idea to give me the benefit of the doubt.

Additionally, as an aspie, if I am stressed out, I tend to have the "wrong" words come out of my brain, and only realise it when it is *kindly* pointed out to me...or not so kindly. When I notice it myself, I usually feel *very* embarrassed and like I am a failure. No need to dig in the knife any deeper.



MCalavera
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12 Dec 2012, 9:47 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
No, you should be clear in prior.


How does the word "date" make anything clearer?

Girls don't always assume "date" means you want more from the girl than just hanging out and asking each other questions and knowing more about each other.



CrinklyCrustacean
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13 Dec 2012, 4:46 am

minervx wrote:
Don't even mention it's a date. That adds too much pressure and it takes the fun out of discovering what it is.

Instead of using "go out" or "date" just say,

"Hey, I know a place that has great coffee, wanna join me there this weekend" or something like that.


Isn't the idea that they're supposed to know they're going on a date? It could be incredibly awkward if they just think you're inviting them out for a coffee to get to know each other, and then they "discover" that your intentions had been quite different all along.