"Nice Guys of OK Cupid" Website

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There's plenty of men like this out there. There's frequently 'I'm a nice person, why can't I find a partner?' type threads on WP and while they are generally not nasty, there can be some unpleasant stuff said about women when they generalise about how horrid women are for rejecting them.

She answers the comparison with men shaving off their hair in the 'when nice guys fight back!!'
section:-

"A lot of your posts are weak as f**k. Expecting things like a woman to keep her legs shaved is no different than expecting a man to keep their facial hair shaved/ trimmed. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of your posts are funny and justified, but if you’re going to post material, make sure quality dictates the quantity.
Asked by Anonymous"

"I GET SO MANY OF THESE IT’S RIDICULOUS so I thought I’d answer one because it’s BS and CRAP
First, the question that all these people are saying “Yes” to reads “Do you think women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved?” This isn’t just “I prefer shaved legs” or something it’s “I think women have to have shaved legs.” There’s no question about “Do men have an obligation to keep their facial hair shaved?” - it’s not something that people THINK about normally. I’m sure there are some jobs which enforce strict grooming standards for men but for women this s**t is considered a necessity to be “acceptable” in society. Women who don’t shave their legs get called ugly and have their sexuality and gender called into question. Men NEVER get stuff like that, facial hair is completely normal and acceptable and in fact often considered a testament to their “manliness” or similar. Men are also pretty much never expected to shave their legs and that wouldn’t come up on a dating site; it’s only considered important for women.
It’s also a common nice guy trope to talk about how others are “shallow” and only they care about personality or whatever and their answers to this question show how crap that is and how much they accept+propagate societal ideas of what women have to be, while claiming they’re somehow acting against it and that they treat women well in contrast to most other men.
So no, the two aren’t really similar at all. Sorry!! !"

http://niceguysofokc.tumblr.com/tagged/anons

I tend to agree with her as men aren't expected to shave their faces, legs or chests - it's a choice, whereas any woman who doesn't shave her legs if exposed, can expect to be ridiculed.

homophobia isn't nice, just by definition. also a man that expects his partner to be obligated to shave her legs for him isn't nice either, as it does not leave any room for free will within the relationship.



^^^as you can see, being homophobic or demanding don't fit the definitions. just because women in a religious region might prefer a man to be homophobic doesn't make it nice.

and a woman who felt the same way wouldn't be nice either, but the point is that these men CLAIM to be nice. they are labeling themselves or complaining about women without giving much thought to what niceness means. i'm sure someone could easily come up with a blog full of women's profile inconsistencies (based on some popular phrase like, "there are no good men left out there"), but this blog only notes problems with men's profiles.

I agree with the shaving-your-legs thing; of I do it it's because *I* like how it looks/feels. The other night I actually pulled up my pant leg and let my boyfriend pet my bristly leg and we both laughed about it. His attitude about it, like many things, is "You can't go wrong." He is a genuinely nice guy in that he respects my choices and body and, at times, laughs about them with me.

Most men who feel the need to call themselves "nice guys" are actually bitter a-holes.

True nice guys don't have to tell you they're nice.

yah and to add to that, good looking guys can get away with this s**t without being tareted...they would be looked at as sweet while ugly guys are desperate.

they didn't choose the men according to how they look, they chose them according to what they said.

How I hate that site! Some bitter person taking the opportunity to pick people to shreds over the slightest perception of "incompatible with ME".

Only THEIR definition of "nice" (eg; must be pro-abortion or you're an a**hole! If you expect shaved legs, you're eeeeevil!!) is used to justify harsh criticism and cackling laughter.

A horrible example of humanity.

There's a lot of reasons why women don't like "nice" guys. And we use this term very subjectively because most "nice" guys aren't truly nice.

I used to be a nice guy from 13-16 years old. Rejection after rejection after rejection caused me to learn what it really took to be better with women and not be considered a nice guy.

I'm not a jerk. I'm just 110% more confident. I'm also busy with my own life, doing my own thing. I don't have time to be at a girl's beck and call like I used to be from 13-16. I don't have time to answer her texts right away or always answer her phone calls.

Now if I get a girlfriend and we've been together for a while then I will be way more likely to answer faster and drop whatever I'm doing to help her with something. But that's not until much later into the relationship.

If we're just dating, or on the stages before dating, I'm not doing to be doing those things.

I think it was just the fact that I didn't seem desperate, lonely, had no life so could be there for her 24/7, like I used to be. I have my own hobbies, my own friends, my own life, and if she wants to be a part of it, that's excellent, I think she'd make a wonderful addition, but she won't become my entire life.

It's the changes in attitude, self esteem, etc. I mean I could make this post much longer and more detailed but that's the gist of it for the most part. At least that's how it's changed for me. I'm a much happier person for it too now.

on an unconscious level they did! Also these men said those things because they were not attractive enough for women to date them in spite of saying these things. Nice looking guys who say these things still get girls!!!oh wait nice looker guys don't say this stuff bc they get girls.

Up to a point, yes. A very low point. Then somehow, for some reason, it becomes objective. There are literally people in this world who no one will ever find attractive, ever, and that is scary to think about.

this is why i cant take this site even as a joke. Its trying soooo damn hard to justify itself and put people down for no reason that it completely misses the point that it was trying to make

you're not one of those

I won't look in case I'm tempted to go there and try to slap some sense into them.

Holy s**t I just looked.

lmfao