Third date, and she still resists hugging???

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Fnord
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05 Jan 2013, 6:32 pm

The way I see it, a reasonable attractive woman has the right to be choosy (any woman does, actually). Aspie or not, if she can land someone who can support her while she pursues an artistic career, then she's done nothing wrong.

Ya gotta up the ante, kid; you gotta make yourself into the kind of man that women find attractive. Otherwise, try dating a woman who wants to immigrate to the U.S. -- you'll get a few good years out of her, at least!

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Brianruns10
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05 Jan 2013, 6:34 pm

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:

Brianruns10 wrote:

If she's Aspie, shame on her.

Why is it her fault?

Because I told her my Aspie status. I've been open and communicative toward her, and she has not reciprocated. It frustrates me. I've struggled so long to find someone, I crave someone being affectionate and wanting ME. I try to express that affection towards her and she brushes it off.

The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Jan 2013, 6:37 pm

Brianruns10 wrote:

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:

Brianruns10 wrote:

If she's Aspie, shame on her.

Why is it her fault?

Don't ever tell your date about your aspie status, it's still too early for that s**t!! !

Fnord
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05 Jan 2013, 6:40 pm

Brianruns10 wrote:

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:

Brianruns10 wrote:

If she's Aspie, shame on her.

Why is it her fault?

Because I told her my Aspie status...

Well, there's you problem!

Brianruns10 wrote:

I've been open and communicative toward her, and she has not reciprocated.

Then, obviously she is not "The One".

Brianruns10 wrote:

It frustrates me. I've struggled so long to find someone, I crave someone being affectionate and wanting ME. I try to express that affection towards her and she brushes it off.

With all of the misconceptions that Enties have about Aspies, this is easy to understand.

Imo, you should cut your losses and move on. Try to become the kind of man that women find interesting - educated, intelligent, successful, and talented - and maybe one day, she will realize what she's missed.

OliveOilMom
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05 Jan 2013, 6:41 pm

Going out three times in six months does not sound like you are dating her. It sounds more like two friends going out. I wonder if she sees them as "dates" like you do, or if it's more like just friends in her mind.

If I were you I would either tell her that you like her and would like to go out more often, or just leave it alone and see if she contacts you first. Who does the initiating, you or her?

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Brianruns10
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05 Jan 2013, 7:10 pm

I've said to her I like her, after the 2nd outing. She has to know. We seemed a good match, but it's clear she's not into me.

I'm just going mad with the loneliness.

Fnord
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05 Jan 2013, 7:14 pm

There are other women. Go out and find one.

rabidmonkey4262
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05 Jan 2013, 8:50 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

There's nothing wrong in dating several candidates while you didn't commit a relationship with anyone yet (becoming her bf), do not go moralist on me, Ms. idealist.

All the girls I've dated through dating site were dating other candidates, everyone does it; and I can bet that girls do it more often than guys!! (due to the imbalance of opportunities; when I was dating 2 girls at a time, the girls were seeing like 4-5-6, no girl told me a number less than 4) In fact, they've been always grateful for my honesty on that matter, and the funny thing they always admit that they're doing the same too.

I think I just figured out why aspie males have such a hard time finding decent women. I can think of several women, myself included, that would not put up with this. We don't have time to waste on guys like that. It's only the desperate people who resort to these tricks.

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anneurysm
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06 Jan 2013, 12:15 am

OliveOilMom wrote:

This!

Also, if she's not doing any of the asking, she may not be totally interested. She may agree to go along with the date just for something to do rather than to have a date *with you*.

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TornadoEvil
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06 Jan 2013, 12:26 am

Brianruns10 wrote:

I've said to her I like her, after the 2nd outing. She has to know. We seemed a good match, but it's clear she's not into me.

I'm just going mad with the loneliness.

If you're lonely then go out and make friends. Find some activity where you can meet other people. Don't look at a relationship as a cure for your loneliness. That will just lead to problems.

wtfid2
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06 Jan 2013, 12:53 am

Brianruns10 wrote:

Well it seems clear she's not interested in me...three GD dates since September, and she won't even hug me. She hardly ever replies to my texts, and when I invite her out, she usually doesn't even respond.

If she's NT, she obviously doesn't care. If she's Aspie, shame on her. How I'd love for somenone to reach out to me and show that kind of affection. It's not easy for me, but dammit I'm trying, but she gives nothing back.

And damn me for not succeeding. Loser is all I am.

gd?

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wtfid2
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06 Jan 2013, 12:54 am

TornadoEvil wrote:

Brianruns10 wrote:

I've said to her I like her, after the 2nd outing. She has to know. We seemed a good match, but it's clear she's not into me.

I'm just going mad with the loneliness.

If you're lonely then go out and make friends. Find some activity where you can meet other people. Don't look at a relationship as a cure for your loneliness. That will just lead to problems.

he has friends..not the same bro

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wtfid2
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06 Jan 2013, 12:56 am

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

How is getting to know the most people in the shortest time desperate? I think it's brilliant. Can I ask. do yo uget a lot of guys because iwouldnt put up with a girl being upset over this.

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You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

MCalavera
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06 Jan 2013, 1:49 am

I agree that Brian should be free to see as many girls as he wishes to see so long as he isn't officially in a relationship with any of them yet.

The last thing Brian needs is to be encouraged to be a doormat for any girl.

Why should he not see other girls if he's not even getting a hug from that particular girl?

MCalavera
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06 Jan 2013, 1:56 am

wtfid2 wrote:

How is getting to know the most people in the shortest time desperate? I think it's brilliant. Can I ask. do yo uget a lot of guys because iwouldnt put up with a girl being upset over this.

Me neither. If the girl refuses to even hug, who is she to suggest that the guy not see other girls.

Hermes9
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06 Jan 2013, 2:17 am

Ah yes, the kind of girl that appears to be potentially interested, but refuses to make enough time to actually form a relationship, even a friendly one.

Wasted plenty of time on these kind of girls. I refuse to be anyone's "backup plan", which is what I generally believe this sort of behavior amounts to.

You are probably better off detaching yourself emotionally from this person and putting your energy into finding someone who will make time for you.

Her loss. Remember that. You can do better.

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