How to properly text with NTs

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It'sstrange I'm NT and I rarely talk about my problems unless I really need consolation or advice which is rare. I usually look at advice on the internet. With my girlfriends we always talk and text about fashion, gossip, what we are into , etc...I rarely hear about their problems. Though I do know people who like to rant...I find it annoying if once I give advice and they don't listen to anyone and still rant...I guess it's like others say, they just want to connect. But I find those people hard to listen to. Luckily, My close friends are not like that.

That's exactly why I'm going into Human Services, lol!

One day a friend (NT) and I were talking. He told me about one of his hobbies. When he stopped I quickly jumped into my own issues. We ended up in a big arguement because he felt I was ignoring him. As far as he was concerned he wasn't finished talking about his hobbies. Bottom line, he explained to me that I was having a self centered moment and that frankly this wasn't the first time I had done this to him. I will never forget that argument. I have learned a lot about myself. Now I am more cognizant.

Agreed, on both counts. Regarding the second, it's why I wonder that "experts" keep saying Aspies should attempt online dating. I've said it before, and I'll say it again...If we're socially awkward beings, we're learning nothing by doing everything via virtual communication. Don't get me wrong, I love my computer, but it's not helping me really learn social skills in order to operate in an NT dating world.

Conversation, that's worth anything, should be a mutual interchange. If ideas and feelings aren't exchanged, mutually, whats the point?

Not all "NTs" are any good at it. In fact, most aren't. Being NT doesn't mean you are good at conversation. In general, being "NT" doesn't automatically endear you with anything aside from being.. just like most people (and that.. is boring!)

If you feel someone's talking "at" you, not "with" you.. They probably are. But do remember sometimes people just want to be heard. Heck, they could talk to a wall and get the same result if they were good at pretending... It's called venting. It shouldn't be the normal mode of interaction, but when someone is really flustered, it's a good thing to get it out. That stuff is toxic bottled up! So let them do so, be compassionate, and offer your tidbits once they calm down. It seems the key is being the calm one until they chill out.

Also, if you're finding yourself constantly being someone's counselor... Refer them to one and stop wasting your time, unless you are trying to building your counseling skills and you find the arrangement constructive for both y'all. I used to have this problem. It was because I focused on people's problems, because I thought I could "fix" or "help" them. They sensed this. Nobody needs fixing unless they specifically ask for help with an issue.

I didn't get a chance to read all the responses and have to log off in a minute so I wanted to jump to what, as an NT I thought when my AS BF did something similar. At the time I was working two jobs, maintaing everything in our life and taking care of a newborn. At the time also I didn't know he was AS. So he would ask me how my day was and I would tell him and then he would say me too and list all of his problems. I always felt like I was taking on so much and I didn't mind but it was exhausting and I just wanted to be recognized. For him to say I am sorry you had a rough day, is there anything I can do to help? I didn't need him to fix it just to acknowledge it. One day in a fight I told him "you always try to one up me. If my day is bad yours is worse and it frustrates me" It has never happened again. Life in general has gotten much better. When he asks about my day I tell him and he will say something nice or give me a hug. then I ask about his and he can say it was bad at that point but it doesn't feel like he is trying to downplay mine. Does that make sense?

Using the non-lingo form of text communication in your messages just shows you're above the idiotic looking short form. If they can't accept that aspect of your interaction style than that's their problem.

Most NTs are total eejits when they text. They talk in TXTSPK and not in real, genuinely understandable English.

using textspeak isn't an NT/aspie thing. the reason for the abbreviations is actually quite logical. smartphones are relatively recent and texts used to have a character limit. also, it was too slow to type out whole words on the old non-qwerty keyboards, and many people who were texting had to hide what they were doing because they were at work or school where phones were not allowed in the early days. so in order to communicate the maximum amount of information in the shortest number of characters, the accepted abbreviations evolved.

i think it's brilliant, like a new written dialect. i used to use it quite a lot, but now with smartphones so common it is less popular so i tend to write out whole words except for a few abbreviations.

i agree with people who have suggested to simply call or use another mode of communication instead. or keep the texts simple and straightforward, not clever, with information-only for planning purposes: "i had a great time yesterday. are you free on friday to see a movie?"