Attaching emotional value & importance to sex?
rabbittss wrote:
I think it's that mainly I really just want to skip the whole "Dating" and "Hooking up" part and just marry some one and live with them for 60 years... I just want to be married to them while we are both cute and nubile and ready for sexy rumpus at the drop of the hat.. not wait until I'm 40 and they're 40 and we're just ready to sit around reading Ken Follet Novels and listening to the King and I..
So really maybe the problem is just that the MAJORITY of young people of both sexes are now extremely commitment-phobic where as it used to primarily only be the males who were commitment phobic... at least if you listen to the media and popular culture.
So really maybe the problem is just that the MAJORITY of young people of both sexes are now extremely commitment-phobic where as it used to primarily only be the males who were commitment phobic... at least if you listen to the media and popular culture.
Yeah. I'm not terribly interested in 'dating' or 'hooking up' at all. I just want to cut to the chase. I'm very old fashioned. Maybe it's because my parents have been married for 30 years, and they married young. I used them as a role model, I guess. I completely agree with you.
People in general are very commitment phobic, when they never used to be (at least women). What's changed?
Adam82 wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
I think it's that mainly I really just want to skip the whole "Dating" and "Hooking up" part and just marry some one and live with them for 60 years... I just want to be married to them while we are both cute and nubile and ready for sexy rumpus at the drop of the hat.. not wait until I'm 40 and they're 40 and we're just ready to sit around reading Ken Follet Novels and listening to the King and I..
So really maybe the problem is just that the MAJORITY of young people of both sexes are now extremely commitment-phobic where as it used to primarily only be the males who were commitment phobic... at least if you listen to the media and popular culture.
So really maybe the problem is just that the MAJORITY of young people of both sexes are now extremely commitment-phobic where as it used to primarily only be the males who were commitment phobic... at least if you listen to the media and popular culture.
Yeah. I'm not terribly interested in 'dating' or 'hooking up' at all. I just want to cut to the chase. I'm very old fashioned. Maybe it's because my parents have been married for 30 years, and they married young. I used them as a role model, I guess. I completely agree with you.
People in general are very commitment phobic, when they never used to be (at least women). What's changed?
Well the conservative answer would be birth control and ease of abortions.. But people in the 60's and 70's had free birth control pills and still overwhelmingly got married... often very young. So i don't think we can blame either the pills or the abortions for it. I think it's just a cultural shift that's been taking place slowly over the last 30 years or so but has really accelerated due to cellphones and social media. I think the fact that the fear of Aids & STI's has really largely subsided especially in the US, due to the alarmingly poor standards of sex ed in most schools..
So it's a freedom to constantly hook up due to always knowing some one's status and being able to get in touch with them.. combined with a lack of understanding about the dangers of such activities.. I know I saw some place that like 1 in 5 young people in the US has, or has had an STI of some sort.. that's really scary odds.
ripped wrote:
The feeling of giving heart and soul to someone is skydiving without a parachute.
But to fly instead of fall is something divine.
Why don't people do it? Was the question asked.
Or maybe why don't people do it twice?
But to fly instead of fall is something divine.
Why don't people do it? Was the question asked.
Or maybe why don't people do it twice?
Very poetic..
And yeah with my most recent ex.. It was magical every single time after we had both started to use the "L" word in relation to each other.. it was like.. It wasn't like I fell more in love with her after each time.. I'm familiar with the effects of Oxytocin.. but it did feel like snapping into the last pieces of a puzzle or something. I mean cause well.. yeah we really were connecting chemically and biologically. It just.. something about it made me really happy and it wasn't just the anxiety release or anything. Cause it didn't require actually even having intercourse sometimes.. just laying all tangled up where no one was quite sure where who's arms and legs stopped..
Unfortunately the coming down from this feeling of total vulnerability and connectedness was as Henry Rollins says in "Liar" it does feel like having your mind torn out or your soul burned. I don't feel like a whole person anymore.. it's almost as if in that act of being together I gave her part of my soul which I won't ever get back..
rabbittss wrote:
ripped wrote:
The feeling of giving heart and soul to someone is skydiving without a parachute.
But to fly instead of fall is something divine.
Why don't people do it? Was the question asked.
Or maybe why don't people do it twice?
But to fly instead of fall is something divine.
Why don't people do it? Was the question asked.
Or maybe why don't people do it twice?
Very poetic..
And yeah with my most recent ex.. It was magical every single time after we had both started to use the "L" word in relation to each other.. it was like.. It wasn't like I fell more in love with her after each time.. I'm familiar with the effects of Oxytocin.. but it did feel like snapping into the last pieces of a puzzle or something. I mean cause well.. yeah we really were connecting chemically and biologically. It just.. something about it made me really happy and it wasn't just the anxiety release or anything. Cause it didn't require actually even having intercourse sometimes.. just laying all tangled up where no one was quite sure where who's arms and legs stopped..
Unfortunately the coming down from this feeling of total vulnerability and connectedness was as Henry Rollins says in "Liar" it does feel like having your mind torn out or your soul burned. I don't feel like a whole person anymore.. it's almost as if in that act of being together I gave her part of my soul which I won't ever get back..
It comes back better than it was before.
