Saw a "Player" in Action

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Joined: 8 Nov 2012
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22 Feb 2013, 4:32 am

Yes Shau. I got married in my twenties. I was 22. He was very mature and older than me. Certainly not a player. Despite not being together now, we are the best of friends. Which shows you I didn't make a bad choice in him "as a person". I just stopped loving him because of all my "issues" which made us incompatible. I didn't know at the time I had ASD. :cry:

Stalk
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22 Feb 2013, 7:28 pm

but aren't we all chameleons aspiesandra27?

I caught myself just agreeing almost to about everything most people say in a social circle. Because of fear of coming off as rude. I don't know where to draw the line, if being spineless, rude or just agreeable. must be the people pleaser in me.

qawer
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22 Feb 2013, 7:42 pm

MXH wrote:

Been reading pua haven't we?

Actually haven't read anything about it, didn't even know what pua abbreviates.

Just observed...

MrKnowItAll
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22 Feb 2013, 8:07 pm

qawer wrote:

AsteroidNap wrote:

It was one of those house parties where people can be a bit more intimate than a bar or club...and less loud. Turns out, most of what Steve did involved belittling, teasing, and at times even insulting the girls. His tactics succeeded in getting him laid, not only with one girl, but her sister as well later.

There's an easy explanation as to why that works....it's all about giving the other person the impression you are worth more than they are. If they get this impression of you they would want to make up with you because it would increase their social status.

It only works with women who are somewhat narcissistic. A narcissistic woman will want to win him over to gratify her own ego. To a healthy woman an insult is only an insult. A woman with low self-esteem will be too hurt to want to have anything further to do with him. Even with a narcissistic woman the insult has to be a little short of an actual insult. It's more effective if it's ambiguous.

Tequila
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22 Feb 2013, 8:14 pm

Ann2011 wrote:

He'll be the most popular guy in the nursing home.

Perhaps he wants to get in there early. I believe that the older ladies are, erm, somewhat willing. They'll kill him and not make him want sex for weeks and weeks.

machf
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24 Feb 2013, 6:27 pm

aspiesandra27 wrote:

Give me a geeky, shy, honest, witty, mature man, anytime.

Really?
Why haven't I met anyone who thinks like that?
(Or maybe they don't think I'm any of the above?)

aspiesandra27
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24 Feb 2013, 10:26 pm

Stalk wrote:

I do the same, Stalk. If I relax and am myself, then somewhere along the road, I am sure to "derail", and make myself offensive to someone. That's why social circles have to be carefully selected.

aspiesandra27
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24 Feb 2013, 10:33 pm

machf wrote:

aspiesandra27 wrote:

Give me a geeky, shy, honest, witty, mature man, anytime.

Really?
Why haven't I met anyone who thinks like that?
(Or maybe they don't think I'm any of the above?)

Machf, it might be because most men assume all women are into this typical alpha male stereotype, and fail to open up the perspective, that potentially, that might not be the case.

This has made me think... I look back, and my choice of men was indeed never the "norm". I only "fell" for a pretty boy once, and infallibly, he had a very astute mind attached.

Vectorspace
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24 Feb 2013, 11:30 pm

I know some people who behave like this and are actually quite successful at it.

But then I'm quite pleased to see them failing their classes. :twisted:

Stalk
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25 Feb 2013, 2:52 am

aspiesandra27 wrote:

Care to share more of this in another thread? I'm very curious to what happened there.

aspiesandra27
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25 Feb 2013, 6:39 am

Stalk, not certain it would justify a thread? :oops:

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