I'm crying right now... Need some advice.

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I’m toward the asexual end of that scale. Maybe a one or a two. I don’t think it’s an Aspie thing – just another independent variable. I did enjoy it to some extent when I was younger, but not nearly as much as other people. Even in my 20’s, I could go for months or years without a relationship. I didn’t feel any need to SETTLE for someone I didn’t really like just for sex. Lately, I’ve been kicked around so much that I can’t imagine ever having another relationship, and the idea of being alone suits me fine. They say that everyone masterbates, but I never figured out how or why anyone would want to. I tried it a couple of times, decades ago, and it never made sense to me. No, I’m not asking for instructions. At this point, I don’t want or need to know. I’ve never told anyone this in real life because I don’t expect anyone to believe me.

No relationship is perfect, but sometimes you can find alternatives. Does one position work better than another? Does he insist on the most uncomfortable one?

Alone time is necessary. Will you have an extra room when you’re living together? A den or someplace? Whatever you need, tell the truth from the beginning, and don’t let him turn it into a problem, like there’s something wrong with you that needs to be fixed or punished, or you need to apologize. This is you, and it’s not going to change.

As for his diet, you’re right, it probably won’t help to talk about it too much.
Maybe, after you’re living together, you’ll have a little more control over the food shopping, and make better choices. For example, carrying a lunch from home is way cheaper than buying every day, and way-way healthier. Weight control is only one of many issues. And you can have some influence there. Pack him some leftovers from last night, and he can pop it in the microwave at work… I do it right away after dinner, while I’m putting stuff away, I pack a Tupperware box for lunch right then.

“Do you enjoy explaining everything away instead of confronting it? Like you should be a politician, you didn’t really address any of the above concerns except maybe the sex part...”
I thought you addressed his original message completely. Which part did you miss? Other that the part that says you’re sorry for not being his perfect little fantasy and that you’ll remake your entire personality immediately and permanently?

As long as he is in attack mode and you’re on the defensive, you’ll never win. There’s nothing to “win” anyway. You are who you are, and the harassment is not going to change it. (Any more than violence increases IQ.) Neither will any harassment from you change his shortcomings. A gentle touch might help with some things. Otherwise, leave it alone.

“I feel like I've accepted him and his issues…”DO mention that. Not to turn the whole argument around and become the aggressor yourself, but just to say HEY – don’t do that!

“…he wants me to feel a certain way during sex…” He needs to grow up.

I’m disgusted with relationships in general, so please don’t absorb my sour attitude. Still, in the beginning, you need to set better limits than I did, or you’ll be very sorry later. The more you let him walk all over you in the beginning, the worse he’ll get.

I'm sorry to say that just from these snippets I can only advice you to not marry this guy.

His attitude is completely selfish and projects the blame of it all on you. That is a very bad trait in a partner. I would not be surprised is he might turn out to be the physically and emotionally abusive type.

You deserve better. You really do.

What he is doing to you is the equivalent of you telling him he'd better lose weight off his fat ass because the sex is a bit gross and that he'd better start to do only the things you like the way you like them in the relationship or it will all be his fault that things are not working out between you.

You wouldn't say that to someone who you truly value and love to the point of being willing to share your life with. So why then do you think he does?

Don't bring up the weight topic again. That's a good suggestion. People come in all shapes and sizes. Not every woman has to look like a supermodel and not every man has to be a hunk of beefcake.

As far as the question of enjoying sex goes, I am a healthy 20something male and I have no interest in sex. I don't hate it or anything; I'm just neutral. You can use this as an example when you talk to him. And you do need to have a serious talk with him about all the stuff you posted here.
The weight issue should be brought up a health concern only. While it is fair to say that some people are naturallly heavier than others, 300lb at 5'10 is a definite health concern.
If he doesn't understand the emotional aspect, you might want to get him some library books on AS. If you don't think he'll actually read them, you could tape little coupons for rewards in the pages (ie: quiet dinner, back rub, kisses). If he already understands AS and how it impacts emotional display but acts like this anyway, get out now; the relationship will end now matter what, but the sooner it ends, the less damage caused all around.
Finally, ask yourself this, "Why did I bring this information to strangers (albeit other aspies) on the internet instead of the person who will be impacted by what happens next?"
What happens next is up to you (and him). We can advise, but you have to make the decision. Good luck.

Because that’s what we’re here for. Strangers are a lot easier. A safe place and a sounding board – that alone Is helpful. It's good to think things through before saying something you'll regret. And Aspie strangers are the best. Chances are, someone around here will get it and have something useful to say.

I wouldn’t say the relationship is hopeless. You weigh the good against the bad. Some things you can accept and some things you can’t. If you wait around for Mr. Perfect, you’ll never find anyone.

Sorry, that reads different than it was in my head. I would explain what I meant, but I think I forgot. It was probably an attempt to say she needs to give her relationship a serious evaluation.