Moving from dating to relationship

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I haven't decided yet, nor do I think I should decide such a thing so easily. In the same sense, I don't think the girl should answer "do you want to emotionally connect with him?" so readily. Ironically, I probably answered my original question (for myself at least): it takes time to get a sense that the emotions involved in attraction are in sync with the reasonable analysis of the current association, and it takes them both being in sync for a relationship to exist.

It seems to me that my expectations of a relationship are completely out of whack with human culture's expectation of a relationship. It definitely appears to be more common for people to do what you described, hence the reason for the cultural expectation, but I wouldn't disagree with culture's expectation if I didn't see a problem with it. The "guys are horny and girls are emotional" stereotype has too much acceptance IMO.

It's not a problem that you would like it this way. I don't believe for a moment that culture is any roadblock here. Folks are free to relate as they feel. I don't think women are brainwashed by culture. My response is based on men who are unwilling/unable to initiate at all, ever. You've read around this forum, you know that there is a lot of that.

If you and your lady friend are both advancing the relationship, you have no problem.

Absolutely; I did not imply otherwise in my statement.

I apologize for the brashness. When I wrote it, I was preoccupied with class but still wanted to get out my thoughts.

I might be putting a bit too much emphasis on culture as a barrier. I have lived in a bubble environment where culture reigns supreme (high school then college), which I have often clashed with (psychologically and interpersonally) due to my insistence on individuality and self-expression, and I have often rightfully or wrongfully attributed those clashes to my failures at developing friendships and relationships with my peer group.

My current relationship status is still up in the air, although it has definitely made progress (I just got out of a study session with her as I speak, actually). I was and still am interested in learning about how relationships commonly progress for others so I have a crude model to refer to when lost, but such a desire is likely not rational.

I am starting to think that my uniqueness (not just Asperger's, but my personality as well) will not make these models very accurate for my circumstances. And even if I did completely conform to the typical man, it still would have key elements of inaccuracy. Like you said, I desperately want to mold the concept to my area of comfort (strict definitions, logical paths, etc.), but I need to accept that such molding will not work with intimate relationships like it has with other areas of my interpersonal life.

With time and persistence, I will probably ease my way into that mindset. But now, I appreciate the feedback as it helps intercept relapse.

I had to change my mindset about conforming. I don't see it as me trying to conform to them, but now I'm beginning to sort of admire how they socialise by using so many ways of communicating, either consciously or subconsciously. I am beginning to see more than I used to, still don't know how to react appropriately, but I'll work on it.