Why cant women do the approaching?

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This is credited.

When it comes to asking out, women are just as incompetent as many men are. Go for the hottest man/woman in the room, ignore signals of disinterest and social dynamics, and then get butt-hurt when s/he rejects you.

Look around you. It's pretty pathetic when some hot Turkish guy walks into a club and has 6 girls hitting on him at once and then one of them asks him out and gets so offended when he says no. If she/he is getting more attention from the opposite sex than you are, s/he is probably out of your league.

The idea of men/women flocking around one man/woman who is attractive has always seemed incredibly stupid to me. You should save your energy for those who are not occupied instead of trying to pathetically "compete" for those who are.

Another thing: there is no reason ever to ask out an alpha male. They usually prefer the "quiet ones who are good in bed" anyway.

If you're going to ask anyone out, make sure it's a normal guy or a shy guy.

Because of how uncommon it is for a woman to approach a lot of guys take it as a trap. Like a "why would a girl walk up to me and be that forward. She must either be a golddigger or a slut"
That said I don't think that's what the majority think. My feelings are the majority that get approached and reject simply weren't interested in her to begin with. Its the risk you take when approaching

I once lost 70 pounds in an attempt to make girls like me. I thought that if I were thinner they would approach me. It did not work. I think, my mom told me a girl in a Captain D's was flirting with me. It is not good when your mom has to tell you when girls are flirting with you. Despite that one incident, I would rather girls approach me than me having to approach them. I not good at approaching anything.

I think the bottom line is if we like someone then we would be happy for them to make the first move because that way we know for sure they like us back. How often does this happen to anyone though?

what is "the chase"?

Unless women are just saying "um, yeah okay, I guess" to guys they don't really like, then it happens to roughly half the population.

In my case it's cause 99% of the time if a girl is forward with me and gives me her number or flirts with me.. I am not interested in her..

That's the problem I used to have often on OkCupid!. I had full body shots of me, and while I'm not quite "Cut" (I'm somewhere between skinny-fat and ottermode depending on the day), but I'm not decripit or physically unappealing.. yet the girls who were asking me out were basically all girls who were to me, totally physically unappealing.. then I'm left with the dubious honour of having to turn down the poor girl who is probably a perfectly nice person but who isn't what I'm looking for.

The couple of girls who asked me out who I thought were cute, I went out with, and one of them it turned into a long friendship and then a multi-month relationship.

In this case I suppose the logical conclusion is then that most girls who most guys would want to go out with (and do be sure to note, I realize i'm making sweeping generalizations here) don't NEED to ask guys out as they are being asked out by plenty of guys.. But girls who may not have as much luck being asked out, might decide to take the initiative and start asking guys out just to see if they get any catches the same way basically ALL guys do it.

2/3of all the girls I've slept with/Dated/got her number/Acknowledged have approached me. So it does happen often.

Probably for the exact same reason any woman would ever get upset at a man approaching her... They don't find whoever's approaching them to be attractive, or their "type," or whatever. For one reason or another, it's unsolicited, and so they don't like it.

On one hand, I always feel like I'd prefer a woman to approach me, but then I think back thru all the memories of every time a woman did approach me and/or show interest, and it's always been creepy or awkward(partially because it only seems to happen whenever I'm already in a relationship).

Among my friends, there is an NT couple where I think she approached him.
He described the experience as: "I wasn't looking for anyone at all. She was just suddenly there."

The idea is that both parties exchange signs of sympathy before one of them states something "explicit".

That's at least the NT way, and I shouldn't need to mention that it works badly for us.

If a man gets mad at you for approaching him, then he apparently didn't like you, and you failed to recognize that.

You know, that really does say it all.

Pity that, at least in my case, the ones I like usually like different types.

I'm very forward when I "target in" on someone. Too impatient and unskilled for BS games, so why bother? Been told that I cannot do "subtle" at all and I'm not gorgeous enough to sit around like an ornament and wait for fun to approach. If a guy is uncomfortable with that, guess we'd never get along anyway.

I agree.

As to that; I really can't say, but I will say this as a aspie male I find it easier when the woman does the approaching. Mainly because when I try to talk to women either A) I go full Forrest Gump (my best friend has a video of it happening) and offend them or B) IF we do start up a (what is to my mind is just a normal) conversation; after it ends about a hour later her boyfriend/brother/whatever shows up wanting to fight me (a big part of why I dont go to parties).

i dont get why some people are regarded as "gold diggers and sluts" just because they approach someone? o.o some people just like dressing comfortable and that can come across as slu*ty.

I know how you feel, I wasnt flirted with and I lost over 100 pounds! When I gained back some of the weight(trying to slowly lose weight) I actually got hit on, but I didnt figure that out until a few days ago.