Why 3 days and not 2 or 4?

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Why follow timeline 'rules'? If someone likes you for who you are than why play games? Get to know each other better already. If someone stopped talking to me because I contacted them too soon I wouldn't feel any loss. That's not the frame-of-mind I'm looking for in a partner. Life is hard enough to live why complicate it more?

These "Rules of Courtship" are social artifacts of the Edwardian era, when mail delivery might take 3 to 5 days, and no longer apply in the current Electronic era.

I always do next day texts. Not sure what is up with 3 days.......

Yeah, unless your are under 21 the 3 day rule is out. I will not boar you with the sappy 6 hour lunch date that we thought was just 2 story... but I finally awkwardly ended the date because I didn't want it to end but I am an NT girl and he was supposed to figure stuff out lol and I didn't know for a few years that he was Aspie. I told him I had to feed my moms cat... which was true.. but when I got home he already found me on line and IMed me within seconds. Told me how much he enjoyed our date.. then later added something about not following the rules. By the end of the first week he told me to go to the dating site where we met and read his profile.. I had not been on since our date. He wrote the SWEETEST thing about meeting me and leaving the site for good. I copy and pasted his post changing the male for female and vice versa where appropriate. I knew by the end of the first date that he was THE one. With the right one you don't need to wait.

Why think too much about it. It boils down to this in simple terms: If you feel something there on the first date, you text her or call her. If she feels something, she will pick up the phone or reply positively. I can assure you that not contacting her while the chemistry is still there will burn out the flame and you will be back to looking for another date.

Ya know what.. If you like the girl text her.. text her or call her daily. If she is interested she will respond. As long as you are not hitting her up every hour on the hour and as long as she is attracted to you there will not be any issues. When you are into someone you WANT to hear from them. If things fizzle out it is not likely because you texted or called too soon. It is more that either the feelings were not there on her side.. you may have texted too much or you may have had nothing to say when you did call or text and she felt she had to carry the conversation. I know this is difficult for Aspies. When I first started dating my BF I enjoyed text and IM with him but HATED when he called. 3 1/2 years later I still rather he text. When he calls I feel like I have to "work". I don't notice it in person although I am sure it is there to a degree but he pauses in awkward places and for what I consider to be long periods of time.. ummm are you waiting for me to say something? Do I need to ask you a question? It is just awkward... at the time I didn't know he was Aspie.. now I kind of probe him along the phone call and chuckel to myself (not as in making fun of him more as in I now understand) A phone call with him may go something like this... Him: Hey, where are you? Me: On my way home about to turn on XYZ road. Him: pause pause pause pause pause pause.. uncomfortable pause.. Me: did ya need something Him: well I needed lettuce but your almost home Me: I can take a left and go to the store no problem. Him: pause pause pause Me: do you want me to go to the store? Him: I can go out Me: but I am out.. no big deal I don't mind Him: pause pause, well, I can go. Me: I have already taken a left to go to the store. Do you need anything else? Him: what ever you think.... uggggg.. just text me "can you grab some lettuce on the way home?" lol. You may not realize the pause in conversation and she may take it as you have no interest in her. I realize in phone calls it takes longer to pick up on verbal cues.. I know when he and I are face to face he knows my expressions and body language and can respond faster.. on the phone he doesn't know if I have had a bad day.. if I am past my turn off, weather I have money on me etc.. he is trying to desipher all this info and to him I am sure he doesn't notice how long it takes him to do it. Just try to keep the call short and plan out a few topics to discuss when you call and remember she is just as nervous as you are

TyriOn if you are better talking on the phone then do that instead of texting. I have been in definitely 2 but I think more like 3 aspie relationships and have had phone conversations with a female aspie and my son is aspie too.. only one of those was good on the phone. Sorry.. I generalized a bit in my earlier response. Take what you are best at and use it. ANd by all means ASK her.. "hey, I really enjoy talking to you. Am I calling too much? I know you have a lot going on and I don't want to be a pain in the butt ha ha" Get it out there right up front.. You are quirky and aware of it.. lets learn to communicate well.

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You SHOULD expect an NT gf to do those things for you. I know my bf excepts me exactly the way I am.. the way I see it.. on phone calls I work with him a bit.. 3 days a month he hands me chocolate and asks if he can do anything He makes consessions for me too. It is part of a good relationship. Even in an NT/NT relationship both parties have quirks. No two people are exactly alike. you let their strengths shine and you try to help out with the weaker areas. If you are really lucky they are strong where you are weak and they are weak where you are strong. He does tell me I am a good girlfriend.. but I work at it. His happiness means the world to me and seeing him happy makes me happy. Mannn nothing upsets me more than if I am frustrated and he messes something up and I am short with him. The look on his face breaks my heart. I say I am sorry, he says it is ok and I tell him it is not ok.. that I never want to be short with him. I am never mean or hateful but still no one deserves to be snapped at

You sound like a very nice girlfriend. I would not expect that kind of accommodating behavior from most NT women.[/quote]

That might be true.

Lori, it sounds as if you know that communicating what you want and need is important and that is vital for the success of any relationship. And it appears he listens to. Does he communicate his wants and needs effectively and how?