NT girl here just looking to muse about something

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This sounds like the plot of a Barbara Cartland novel

I've never read any of her work—is there a happy ending for me?

They're romantic novels so probably

How do you know this person you fancy has Asperger's Syndrome?

I had a friend with me who asked the guy who was standing with him why he was "acting so weird," and she told me after we walked away what he'd said to her. I'd had a suspicion, because he acted like the friend I had in high school, but of course I couldn't just come right out and ask him in the middle of our conversation.

My friend and I had been doing a Sociology experiment; going around campus and asking guys what type of "look" would attract them to a girl enough to make them go up to them and talk to her. We saw him and his friend walking near us and decided to ask them. That's how I met him. Tyler.

Interesting

"because he acted like the friend I had in high school"

What behaviour did he exhibit that was like that of your friend in high school?

He'd continuously only look me in the eye at the start of saying something, and never when I said something—then he'd look away. I like to think I'm an extremely good conversationalist, so when I couldn't engage him as I could his friend, I immediately knew there was something off. He also said things bluntly that came off as if they were jokes, but when my friend and I laughed, he looked confused.

He also said something a little awkward in regards to what kind of girl he was interested in. Besides the "not too slu*ty" bit, he also said, and I quote: "She needs to have red hair. I have red hair, so it makes sense. I'd like to carry on that gene. It's sad that redheads are dying out, and I hate the jokes people make about gingers. They're not true."

To the OP. I don't think you should back down by the fact that he wouldn't remember your name. I met my BF 3 years ago and I would talk to him casually for a week. A week later I went up and talked casually again and he said, "Oh what was your name again? Sorry." When I tried to confess my feelings, he was busy looking at something else and I said something and he acknowledged me with his eyes and then continued walking forward. He had no idea I was flirting. So I was direct. Well my friend told him and he said he would like to pursue a relationship after he knew how I felt. So he had no idea and it's very hard to know what they are feeling. So Be direct.

Just to illuminate things for you dastardly, dastardly NTs:

Eye contact is not simply about being shy, insecure, or bashful. Eye contact for us is often physically uncomfortable the same way a screeching chalkboard is. For me as well, eye contact is sensory overload: Looking into a person's eyes is like a deluge of information I'm often not prepared to process, yet you NTs do it all the time all day (which amazes me, to be frank).

Yes, eye contact is complicated.

I have problems with eye contact. Sometimes I can muster the courage to "try". However what usually happens, is I get distracted with the shape of the eye, the colour of the iris (see how exquisite they can be?) and so forth. Consequently I am not paying attention to whatever it is the person is saying. If I look away, I can at least try to make sense of what is being said to me, if the person is candid enough.

If someone is not talking to me and they look at me and I happen to catch their eye, then it really freaks me out. If I go to a doctor, for example, then I can't look them in the eye, it*does* hurt, like someone suggested here, it's something that is hard to explain.

It becomes easier with people I am *very* comfortable with, but even so, I can't do it for a long time. I am told I appear very distant because of this.

You sound like a 'Super Empathiser' to me

There's the idea/theory of people with autism having an extremely systemising brain, at the expense of empathy

So in theory it would indicate that there are people who are the opposite ie not good at systemising but very good empathisers

That might be what you are

I like what he said about red hair - I've always loved it myself and wish I had it

I didn't know it was dying out

Also I thought two ginger people made a child with blonde hair - that's what I'd heard, might not be true

It makes sense that if you are a very good empathiser/good socially, that you'd get board of the run of the mill type of person and would be interested in people who were the opposite to you

I'd cultivate him as it sounds like you could be a good match with your understanding of his issues

Red hair is not dying out, btw, to all those concerned.

http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/g ... nction.htm

Anyone that thinks that recessive alleles can "die out" like that have no clue how either genetics or evolution works. Riddle me this: Cystic Fibrosis is an inevitably fatal disease that, until a few decades ago, most people barely lived past six months with. Yet...it has persisted throughout human history for thousands of years. Why? Because, it is caused by recessive genes, so that people that have both dominant and recessive versions of the gene are asymptomatic. Because of this fact, the deleterious recessive genes responsible are invisible to natural selection in said individuals, who can then go on to pass them onto their offspring, ensuring their continued survival. The only ways a deleterious gene can be wiped out in this fashion is if it is dominantly-expressed, or extreme population bottleneck events that, by chance, happen to wipe out every copy of the gene.

Don't believe everything you read, folks.

You see, this is all so amazing to me. Not odd or weird -- I'm helplessly fascinated. In a significant other, this would be something I found "adorable," as I had with Tyler. I had a feeling he couldn't comfortably look me in the eye, and it just made me like him more. Maybe something's wrong with me. I'm actually an odd person in general, so it wouldn't surprise me.

I would just love to sit in silence with an AS significant other and watch him do what pleased him, or listen to him speak of his special interest (especially if it was history -- which I love). I don't mind being talked at -- people often tell me I'm an incredible soundboard because I have the ability to just listen and listen without losing interest. I like to absorb the information of others -- I feel that talking about myself or things I like is far too boring.

I find it very refreshing to know that someone else has a different opinion about what is desirable in someone of the opposite gender. I constantly hear people talking about what an ideal partner "should" be like, as if there was some sort of rule as to whom you need to be attracted to.

You sound like a quality kind of gal

Thank you! I went to a sorority/fraternity event last night and was incredibly bored. Same old guys as I meet everywhere else. I feel badly that I'm down about not meeting any AS boys around campus when there are so many AS people on this site who struggle to just maintain a friendship with one person. I feel selfish. I also feel like some sort of… predator. I was hit on by a lot of guys last night but I just brushed them off because I found them all dull and typical. I don't know. I'm rambling.

Well that's the average guy for ya, they are very predictable, aren't they. Don't feel bad, it's totally okay to go after what you want, I'm sure you will find an AS guy out there. Sometimes they can be really good at blending in and harder to spot. I know I have learned quite a bit but there are times when I do or say something odd every now and again. I hope you do find someone out there..

It's those odd things that I'm hoping to spot in a conversation in a guy someday. It's what makes me go into a conversation—that feeling that the next boy might be the special one I'm looking for with the quirks that make me flush and my heart pound. I lose my cool around AS guys, and I'm usually extremely charismatic. I'm known for being so.

But thank you. If you're searching for love/companionship, I hope you find it as well.