What am I supposed to talk to girls about?

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mds_02
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14 Mar 2013, 7:39 am

hyperlexian wrote:

this is pure gold, right here. it makes you vulnerable as opposed to being the expert in the situation. giving advice (i.e. at the skating rink) right off the bat comes across as arrogant but asking for advice comes across as "geee awww shucks i'm a lost puppy why don't you help me find my way?"

Funny that that's how you'd describe it. I've had more than one woman use the words "lost puppy" to describe me.

Quote:

people want to feel valued and listened to. hopefully the other person will reciprocate and also ask questions, so it balances out.

Yes, exactly. When you're interested in someone the natural instinct is to do whatever you can to show your own value, to try to get them interested in you. But that generally doesn't work. Either they're interested or they're not, and there's very little you can do to affect that. The best thing is simply to demonstrate your own interest then wait and see if they reciprocate.

spongy
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14 Mar 2013, 10:42 am

hyperlexian wrote:

Stalk wrote:

yeah but if they are stand-off'ish. Doesn't matter how many questions you ask, probably making it worse by asking more and more. I think I have a problem not knowing when something is personal, because I might just get slapped with the "creepy" label if I ask something too personal. I don't know how long it takes before I am allowed to ask more personal questions and when it gets boring when asking too many vague, indirect everyday questions.

asking for advice on how to do a skating move is different from.. i dunno, asking a woman about where she gets her hair cut. as an ice breaker, asking her for advice or assistance shows that you are willing to be open to hear her opinion.

another one i have observed men doing is asking women for advice in clothing stores, either in the women's department ("i am buying this bag for my sister but i don't know if it is fashionable, what do you think?"), or the men's department ("i don't know if this tie matches this belt. what's your opinion?")

once you are actually really talking to a person, that's where more personal questions come into play, and there are different ideas that can work for that.

Im sorry but the whole asking for asistance is standard PUA advice, nothing wrong with it but some of the girls you approach may be a bit tired of this approach because almost every PUA guru encourages males to do it

The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Mar 2013, 11:37 am

^ and pretending having loads of past relationships as well.

Hyper, be our PUA guru please ;p. Muhaha.

hyperlexian
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14 Mar 2013, 2:08 pm

spongy wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

Stalk wrote:

they do? i had no idea because i don't read those materials. nobody's mentioned it on the site so i didn't realise.

i guess it depends what a guy asks for help with, and who he asks for help from. the guy i know that does it all the time asks for help from women of all ages on a variety of subjects - not just young single hotties - so he comes across as affable and approachable in general.

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JanuaryMan
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14 Mar 2013, 2:14 pm

mds_02 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

Funny that that's how you'd describe it. I've had more than one woman use the words "lost puppy" to describe me.

Quote:

people want to feel valued and listened to. hopefully the other person will reciprocate and also ask questions, so it balances out.

These are great points from other forum members. Unless the person you're interested in can tell (and of course you are) the alpha or one of the best in a certain skill or field giving advice will seem arrogant instead of you showing a genuine interest in what they are doing. Instead, you ask for the help. If you don't need it you will come out looking rather naturally talented and everyone likes a bit of modesty.

Seriously giving advice is only recommended if someone asks for it or you are in the minds of at least a couple of people in your direct vicinity the best person to be giving it.

Stalk
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14 Mar 2013, 2:18 pm

she makes eye contact and keeps it. says hi to me.
I go over to her this is what happens

Me: Hi, what is your Name?
Her: N
Me: Hi N, can I get your number
Her: [wants to burst out laughing] Unfortunately not
Me: Well it was nice meeting you
Her: It was nice meeting you too
Me: [walks away]

:wall: :oops: :duh: :monkey: couldn't find the jackass emoticon

hyperlexian
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14 Mar 2013, 2:20 pm

Stalk wrote:

couldn't find the jackass emoticon

i don't see any reason why she would give you her number. you didn't make any sort of connection with her. there's no common ground. all you know is that she is physically attractive to you and you are hoping that she finds you physically attractive too, and that is rarely enough.

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Growlithe
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14 Mar 2013, 5:18 pm

talk to girls about anything. I'm dead serious you can talk to her about anything. Don't be predictable.

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