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How do YOU define Romance?

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Immortal
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17 Jan 2007, 6:54 pm

To me, one of the most romantic gestures is writing a poem for the one you love. It costs no money, but it takes a great deal of time and thought. You need to think about your love for the person and express it in words.

When I think of romance I also think of a couple who has written their own wedding vows. The love letters my mother keeps in her sock drawer...My father was a merchant marine, and every time he left (6 months out of every year) he'd send her one every month. She kept every one. My grandmother, who was the first in her family to *not* have an arranged marriage-she was widowed when I was four and still wears her rings because she still considers herself married.


I guess with me, romance cannot come without sentiment.


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Fiz
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17 Jan 2007, 7:55 pm

Immortal wrote:
To me, one of the most romantic gestures is writing a poem for the one you love. It costs no money, but it takes a great deal of time and thought. You need to think about your love for the person and express it in words.



This is exactly how I feel. I believe that romance comes from within, like the poem I'm writing, and not from spending money on an expensive box of chocolates that would be eaten within minutes anyway. No thought has really gone into the chocolates, but with the poem it has. And like you say, it doesn't cost anything. It's all in the thought that counts.


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17 Jan 2007, 7:56 pm

sociable_hermit wrote:
Being totally at ease with someone and being able to tell them anything and everything (which normally means that, in fact, you don't really need to).

Shared contentment is the most romantic feeling of all.


My boyfriend and I do this a lot and it's amazing. I can talk to him about anythign and be 100% myself. He does too.


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17 Jan 2007, 11:21 pm

Quote:
The taste and quality of the ganache is primarily dependent on the quality of chocolate you start with. Remember not all chocolates are the same. Chocolate begins with the beans from the tropical tree Theobroma which translates to "Food of the Gods". There are three types of cacao beans (Forastero, Criollo, and Trinitario) and the type and/or blend of beans, their quality, and where they are grown all contribute to the quality and taste of the chocolate. Other factors affecting taste and quality are how the beans are roasted, how the beans are ground into a mass called chocolate liquor, how much extra cocoa butter is added to the chocolate liquor, quality and amount of other ingredients added, and how long the chocolate liquor is conched (processed). A chocolate with a higher cocoa butter content will produce a ganache that is firmer than one made with a chocolate that has a low cocoa butter content. A chocolate with a velvety smooth texture will produce a ganache that is velvety smooth. The most important point to consider when choosing a chocolate for making ganache is whether you like the chocolate when eaten out of hand.



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18 Jan 2007, 8:03 am

lots and lots of shagging! say it with sex! :lol:

and please, NO POETRY! i can't stand it. :evil: i think i'm poetry-phobic!



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05 Aug 2008, 10:21 am

So, can anyone give a step-by-step or categorical "Cliff's Notes" version of what it takes to behave romantically? Keep in mind that your audience consists of Aspies, nit-pickers, and other literal-minded people.

Thank you.


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ToadOfSteel
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05 Aug 2008, 12:24 pm

Romance is the combination of love (defined as putting the significant other ahead of yourself) with physical attraction...



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05 Aug 2008, 12:40 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Romance is the combination of love (defined as putting the significant other ahead of yourself) with physical attraction...

That's a cute definition, but what does it take to behave romantically?


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heyyoujess
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05 Aug 2008, 2:07 pm

Beenthere wrote:
I guess I'm not romantic...I don't care about flowers, a dinner out, jewelry, cards, poetry, or notes.

I guess I received too many gifts based on guilt instead of love over the years to last me a lifetime.

Romance to me is a thought...a simple gift while you where away that says you missed having me around...even if you only paid .25 for it from a vending machine, or you made it from toothpicks on your lunch break.

Spending time with me sharing things together because you want to...not because you feel you have to. Making me laugh when I'm down...huddling under a blanket together on a cold starry night...or a walk in the rain.


I'm with you - traditional romance makes me uncomfortable. Poetry is just embarrassing. I don't want to stare into someone's eyes over a candlelit meal (obvious reasons). I find it romantic when my Sweetie picks me up a tin of Altoids or a Skor bar - something I really want.

A walk to the coffee shop is always nice, too!


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Fnord
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05 Aug 2008, 2:19 pm

A lot of what I see described as romantic behavior - glances, caresses, thoughtful gifts, clowning, silly jokes - could fall under the legal definition of Sexual Harrassment.

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964: "Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance, or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment."

Unfortunately, this leaves open the definition of what constitutes "Sexual" while also focussing on the "Unwelcome" part. So, if you greet someone on the job with a smile and "Good Morning" every day, accidentally bump into them, send them a "Be Happy" greeting card, make a face, or say something that is funny, you may find yourself on the receiving end of a sexual harassment charge.

So the most I've been able to glean from this thread and the above Civil Rights Act, is that Romanticism somehow involves doing things that the other person welcomes.

C'mon, people! Give a clueless Aspie some help! I don't ever again want to hear the words, "For someone so smart, you can be stupid sometimes." Even when said with a smile by the woman I love, it still stings a little.


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heyyoujess
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05 Aug 2008, 4:31 pm

Fnord wrote:
A lot of what I see described as romantic behavior - glances, caresses, thoughtful gifts, clowning, silly jokes - could fall under the legal definition of Sexual Harrassment...

So the most I've been able to glean from this thread and the above Civil Rights Act, is that Romanticism somehow involves doing things that the other person welcomes.

C'mon, people! Give a clueless Aspie some help! I don't ever again want to hear the words, "For someone so smart, you can be stupid sometimes." Even when said with a smile by the woman I love, it still stings a little.


You've hit it on the head - wanted vs. unwanted attention is where the truth of the matter lies. I think that there are a couple of things a couple has to agree on if they want their relationship to survive, and the first is that they both have to have similar ideas on romanticism. If I were involved with someone who wanted to have a traditionally romantic relationship, with flowers and candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach, that someone I was involved with would be VERY disappointed, and would probably assume that the relationship was failing, because I'm not going to be willing to do any of that stuff.

Hence, although it's kinda weird, I think any couple should discuss what's expected of their time together in order for both parties to be able to properly interpret one another's behavior. I'm also very clear with people - I don't have the time or energy to try to interpret your hints, clues, and subtle body language - tell me what you want, or it's probably never gonna happen. If having to be this explicit bothers you, I'm the wrong girl for you.


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05 Aug 2008, 4:53 pm

So ... romanticism requires having willing involvement in mutual interests. That's one ...


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