Age differences.

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I don't think of age as a huge problem. My ex husband was considerably older than me, but this was never a problem. If anything, what I see now as my ASD traits, were what killed it.

I do like myself now, more than I ever did in my twenties or thirties. I always had a preference for older folk when I was younger, and still like the thought of the 40's as being "ideal", which is of course on par with my own chronological age. But I would never reject anyone, just because they were younger or older.

I'm wondering if, as time went on, you retained the youthful attitude and mindset, while your husband moved in the direction of being elderly. Did you notice anything like that?

Shelby, it's hard to pinpoint, because I am not sure if you mean, elderly as in physically, or in his mindset?

Mindset. My point is that I believe autistic people keep a youthful intellect and perspective, as opposed to neurotypical people who loose their youthful thoughts.

My main concern is that I just don't want to be like Matthew Mconohie in Dazed and Confused..

Just cause I have more in common with girls who are younger than me doesn't make me a creeper.. but apparently it does.. once you're more than 5-6 years older than a girl you're suddenly a creeper.. and then you're not a creeper until you're in your'e 50's and you make 7 figures a year.. then it's socially okay to go after the 20 something girls again.

Funny how that works..

When you're an old guy, like me, success counts. When I'm wearing old tennis shoes and driving my Suburban, I can't pay a young woman give me the time of day. But, if I'm dressed stylishly, wearing my Rolex, show pictures of my house and swimming pool, and the Shelby I have in my garage, then I'm somebody. So, under those circumstances the only things I've got going for me are everything but me. Keep in mind, most people in this world stopped thinking when they are fairly young and start measuring people by the material signs of success. To tell the truth, I almost never dress up, the Rolex gets worn a few times per year, I've never had a guest in my swimming pool, and the Shelby sits in the garage as a piece of art. I didn't get any of those things to attract women. But after getting them, I noticed a difference. If I wanted to, I could easily snag a girl in her early 20s. And generally, if they're professionals, they aren't interested in a sugar daddy. They simply want to live the good life for a while and hang around with a guy who's successful. Actually, I'm fairly impressed with autistic women and the way they think.

Last edited by ShelbyGt500 on 20 Mar 2013, 10:15 pm, edited 3 times in total.

It's fairly common where I'm from for younger girls to date older guys. Some girls like older guys. It shouldn't be seen as creepy as long as your not so much older that you can be though of as a father figure type. I have a hard time relating to people my own age too' I heard on average Aspies maturity is 1/3 less than their peers so it makes sense to me that we would have more in common with & relate better to younger girls. My 2nd girlfriend was a little over 10years younger than me; she was 19 & I was 29. I never thought of our age difference as being that much of a problem; we had things in common & related & I thnk even her paretns weren't too bothered about the age thing after they knew abit about me. I think age differences are mostly only as important as the both of you make them out to be.

I agree. I do get concerned for (the hypothetical) her, and worry about her being alone after I die. Which is why I'm not a big fan of huge age gaps. I'd ideally prefer someone close to my age, within 5 years of my age. I'm 30, so someone in the 25-30 range would suit me.

I like older men.

I am 25, and men my age seem boring to me.

I've been through a lot on my short life; I don't feel I can relate to many people my own age as a result.

There's just something about men looking a bit more weathered and having a bit more experience that is attractive.

Older or younger, it's all good.

There's no formula. None at all.

Just go with what your heart says.

If you connect well with the person, age should not be the main dictate. You only live once!

Last edited by Cuckooflower on 23 Mar 2013, 11:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'll quote a former, accidental New Jersey governor, Richard J. Codey: " I was twenty-eight and she had just graduated high school. I shouldn't have done it, and wouldn't do it today." Senator Codey and his wife Mary Jo have been married for over thirty years now.

But enough about Garden State politics! I try to abide by the half your age plus seven rule. If I had a daughter with AS, a college freshman/sophomore, and a guy with AS (a recent college grad, or maybe a year or two out of college), I would give my blessings. I do believe in some exception to age differences, especially if both individuals are 18 and over. Look at Doug Hutchinson and Courtney Stodden. A creepy relationship, but no news about a divorce.

In virtually every way, age becomes irrelevant once someone makes it to 18 or 21. And at that point, they are considered fully capable of assessing their situations and making their own decisions. However, being in a relationship where there is a large age difference seems to be an exception. And, it's presumed to be some sort of outright abusive or, at best, a creepy relationship. Over the past couple of hundred years, most demographic biases and prejudices have gone by the wayside. In this particular case, if I dated a woman in her early 20s, that would be seen by many as child abuse. However, at 20 years old, in every other way she is to be considered an autonomous adult who is fully capable of making her life decisions. The creeper thing is really a context oriented matter. I'm not offended, but I have noticed that it is inconsistent with most assertions that of been made about what an adult is. It seems that a woman who is, say 25 years old, is fully an adult in all ways, until she enters into a relationship with a man who is twice her age. Other than doing some math, what are the principles in play? Remember, there been times when groups of people were intuitively convinced that some races were subhuman. And remember, there have been people who have presumed mentality and motive based on pure demographics that are physical, rather than anything that directly affects thought or behavior. I know that a lot of people intuitively believe that somehow when an adult woman enters into a relationship with an older man she somehow regresses to the level of an exploitable juvenile, but what is the real logic in that?

Well, neither of them look very happy. She looks like she might be an old lady with a really good makeup artist and hairstylist. They really look grumpy.

Rupert Murdoch also owns a ton of stuff and is filthy rich.. so it's no wonder he can get a much younger woman.


I'm not actually looking for a much younger woman, my question was just mainly why do so many 22-23 year old women put age limits of like.. 24 or 25 when really the differences between a 25 and 28 year old are non-existent.

They probably don't realize that once someone becomes an experienced adult, age is not the huge issue it is for younger people. It really depends on their maturity level. And maybe, like a lot of girls in their early 20s, they don't like facing the fact that they are no longer a 16-year-old junior in high school. Have you noticed how many mothers live a vicarious life through their 16-year-old daughter? Quite a few. I'm sure there are various reasons. But one way or the other, there are plenty who are interested in finding a guy who has got a life started. And, that's you. The tough thing is, society really does not allow for building relationships on affective maturity, rather than chronological age. Too many people are trying to use formulas that do not account for the variability of human beings. in particular, none of the formulas address the existence and characteristics of autistic people.