A simple idea to help move on more smoothly:

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Learning to let go and live in the moment has helped me, but I still needed to go back and think about what was going on now that I have had some time and learned to control myself and understand better. Its not like I have the luxury of not having any form of interaction with her. I have had painful memories triggered, and I had to learn to calm myself down, and not doing anything stupid.

I've learnt to take time out to deal with emotions as they happen, otherwise I tend to have a meltdown. It is much more difficult when you're dealing with the past - I haven't figured out that one yet, other than focusing on someone new. Not great advice, I know.

The irony is that it is precisely the present that is excruciatingly painful. The here and now. Past events don't bother me that much, even though I have had some major crap happen along the years.

If anyone is having problems with being present during any given moment with friends, then that person must realize at that moment they have three options and they must pick one without feelng any regret. I may have alluded to myself doing number 3 a few hours ago in my "Should I stay or should I go" thread.

1. Deal with the problem as it happens.
2. Take a deep breath and accept things as they are..
3. Remove or distance yourself from the situation.

I'm going to print these 3 options and put them on my fridge. Sound advice.

Thanks AspieMike.

All of this just sounds like watered down Buddhist/Taoist philosophy and Behavioral Therapy.
Pick up a book

Sometimes simplicity helps. Less is more.

If it works then who cares?

Exactly IlovemyAspie.

In addition, I read a ton of books, I have always done so, but if books were all we needed, none of us would be here, would we?

When it comes to understanding your own mind, motivations, actions etc... less is ignorance.

When it comes to ignorant comments that don't anyone, less is more.

Telling people where to get more information is more helpful (the word I assume you forgot) than

Never assume

I appreciate you help if it was meant in a nice, and friendly way. But it comes across as petulant and patronising.

Obviously I am well aware that ignorance isn't the "less" I was referring to.

I have 3 degrees, and have been reading fluently, since the age of 3. I speak 5 languages, so I tend to be familiar with books.

"I know one thing, that I know nothing". Love that saying.

thanks for the link

My pleasure