Coping with horrible breakup

Post Reply New Topic

Dang,

So today I have felt incredibly lonely. Not so much because of my ex, but in a more general way. I'm beginning to feel like I did prior to me getting in a relationship with my ex.....isolated from the world. I guess losing my ex has been so incredibly painful is because shes the first and only person that has ever truly understood me and accepted me for exactly what I was. I only become aware of my aspieness when I am around NT people or in social situations, but I never was aware of what I was when I was around her. She served as a conduit to many experiences that I would have never been able to experience, particularly love. Everyone else that I have known in my life, including even my best friends and family, I have never been able to feel 'love' or be affectionate with them. But with this girl, I was able to open my heart completely to her love and I was able to love her so much, which in turn made me very affectionate towards her.

I'm just scared that for that reason it will take me years to be able to move on from her because I will always be yearning for that connection that I so deeply cherished. And too be honest, I may have a long, long, long, drought of singlehood which will keep me hung up on her that much more. Lately I've tried to meet new people, not necessarily romantically, but just can't seem to connect with them anything deeper than from a superficial level. I'm just feeling so sad and worthless now

if she truly accepted you for you then why is there a breakup?

I think part of the reason was because she just couldn't cope with the stress that she got from issues due to my AS, and she had a lot of external pressures such as her Mom being in a different country and the uncertainty of her future following her graduation from the master's program she was in.

Alright so after about 4 weeks of no contact, my ex's brother texted asking me how I was doing and asked about when I was graduating. He asked me if it was okay to tell his sister (my ex) about this. I replied to him telling him I didn't mind. He told me that she still cares for me and so on. So the next day(yesterday) my ex emailed me telling congratulations for graduating and that she wished the best of my luck for me in the future. So i don't really know what I should do, or whether or not I should respond to this.

more importantly why is she even contacting me and why is she acting like she never sent me those messages and hurt me?