Being the man is too stressful

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Within the dating realm, yes, it's too stressful as a man, I agree.

As I'm sure all you guys know, I looked into PUA a little bit in high school, and it worked, but I didn't like it. Since then I've been trying to find some sort of synthesis or compromise between my natural inclinations and what actually works, and I haven't found any. I'm coming to the conclusion that there is only one correct mating ritual in the human species, and deviating from it will always result in less success. I think it is really just like how female birds select based on songs, and may not mate with a perfectly healthy male who sings a song that she doesn't like. I think biologists have actually classified birds as different species who can technically mate, but don't because the males of the species sing different songs and the females only like their own song. I am thinking that trying to get a mate by singing a different song than everybody else will always be dependent on finding strange and/or damaged partners, which is basically just luck.

Tyri0n, just do what your comfort level allows. You are assuming that these expectations exist. Who knows what the girl is actually thinking. She might be beating herself up for perceived failings too. You know how hard it is for both genders of aspie to create conversation.
If you're thinking you're gay, that's a whole different issue. Is there a particular guy that has brought these feelings on?
At any rate, there are pushy aspie women out there. I know 'cause I am. It's more about meeting the right person then conforming to any perceived form of behaviour.

I get this feeling that relationships that are on perfectly equal footing in terms of confidence level are harder to come by but actually turn out better. It's just that relationships where one person or the other naturally takes the lead are easier to initiate. Probably in more traditional patriarchal cultures there is a compartmentalized divide where a more passive man learns to take the more dominant role in public and the more passive role in private.

If the other person doesn't react nor responds and you know it's not because she is only shy the first three dates, then ignore that person. Who wants a lot of very boring dates with a very boring person? Why the effort? I had these kind of dates and I never missed those men after I stopped phoning them.

Yes, there are very passive men too, it's just that you never dated them

I'm the opposite, I attract very, very passive men who want someone to take their lives over and solve their problems for them. They don't seem to have any personality of their own at all, and I've just given up because I'm sick of someone latching onto me like that. I don't like "macho" men by any means but someone who is at least willing to take care of their own problems and not lean on me all the time would be nice.

There are girls who don't mind if the social cues and routines are nonexistant. In addition, I don't think just because you want a passive role should mean you are into men or should be gay. You are into men if you like men romantically and sexually, not because you want a passive role(Though only you can tell if you truly are into male or female) Anyhow, many women like to take the lead. But I do think some women can tell that the guy is oblivious on what to do and can be able to help out. Though there are some women who get real angry if cues aren't met and those type are just not worth the time, too high maintenance.

In addition, I think female bodies are attractive and I'm a woman, though I think women with curves(not fat)look better naked than too-thin girls. Naked men are neutral for me, yet I'm into men.

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Neurotypical. I'm very friendly; feel free to message me.

You are not alone!

The sexes have become so blurred that knowing where we fit, how we fit, and when to fit feels semi-impossible!

I think you'd be surprised at how many "traditional" women wish they could be more assertive or agressive without coming across as forward. In my case, when I've tried with a passive guy, it sent him running, even though I felt I was still being too cautious. ;( It was because I had not a full understanding of my skill set in order to be confident enough to not freak out at the slightest hint of rejection. If you're right now that uncomfortable with direct "dating", focus on marketing your strengths in alternative ways that will simultaneously boost your confidence and connect you with people in non-threatening environments -- e.g. talk more on here and understand people in writing first?

No it's not at all weird to question your orientation in light of your disjointed feelings and the labels you've been handed... I'm a highly androgenous female who's intensely attracted to one male; I think chicks are hot but I'm not "interested" in that, and I could care less about doing it in real life most of the time; and when the opportunity arises, I freeze because I can't figure out the other person's ideas... woah, major rabbit trail there!

All that to say... RELAX, you're normal!

Hey, you could always be like me and try "brain sex" over e-mail! ;;

You can always do what my old roomate did. He was the trifecta of social awkwardness (gay, obese, autistic) and basically retreated from the human race as opposed to trying and dating normally. He became a furry and would dress up in a blue wolf costume and have sex with other people dressed in animal costumes. He gets laid far more than I do and doesn't even have to show his real face half the time.

Just go on "rule 34" and find your kink.........