my aspie bf was facebooking another person

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Joined: 23 Apr 2011
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04 Jun 2013, 12:27 pm

Stories like this make me want to live alone forever.
Does he know you're upset by what he did?
If he knows you're upset and still finds no fault with his actions then you know the drill.

Shau
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04 Jun 2013, 12:36 pm

That guy seems like a f*****g cock if you ask me. I'd be wary of staying with him cause he's got the wandering eye.

corkyviolet
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04 Jun 2013, 2:30 pm

heatherbk wrote:

Stories like this make me want to live alone forever.
Does he know you're upset by what he did?
If he knows you're upset and still finds no fault with his actions then you know the drill.

he didn't understand why i was upset when i first saw the messages and brought it to his attention, because, he didn't think it was harmful.

since then, he understands his behavior in this instance made me upset, changed my behavior and thereby created a rift in our relationship. he says he will not do it again.

corkyviolet
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04 Jun 2013, 2:32 pm

mattarga wrote:

Quote:

i've tried to tell him the differences between emotional and sexual infidelity, but he didn't understand....

Herein lies the danger of Facebook. I can't tell you how many articles there have been on the internet about Facebook affairs. They start out as emotional ones, and if they continue, they blur the line between emotional and sexual when the line is crossed. If your boyfriend is serious that he won't ever contact her again, here is what he needs to do: block her. Unfriend her. Whatever it takes to break all contact with her completely and permanently. I hope it works out for you, I really do. Best of luck.

he sent a private facebook message telling her that he's in a relationship, that his messages caused problems in that relationship and that he will no longer private message her.

she replied that i'm a psycho girlfriend.

Fnord
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04 Jun 2013, 2:39 pm

corkyviolet wrote:

mattarga wrote:

Quote:

i've tried to tell him the differences between emotional and sexual infidelity, but he didn't understand....

Are you certain that she is really a "she"?

Rules of the Internet #30: "There Are NO Girls On The Internet."

"The Internet: where the men are kids, the women are men, and the kids are undercover FBI agents." -- Anonymous

lost561
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04 Jun 2013, 3:05 pm

Why don't you just do the same thing with another guy and call it even? :wink:

The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jun 2013, 3:07 pm

OP, that's an act of cheating, not just potential cheating. Know the difference.

Shatbat
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04 Jun 2013, 3:19 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:

So his excuse was that he wanted to toy with her emotions and then dump her to the curb? That doesn't make it sound any better in my mind.

Basically this. Even if he really was only into you, his excuse is an extremely *sshole thing to do, in my opinion.

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cakey
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04 Jun 2013, 3:24 pm

Ew, she's gross, she called you psycho when you are acting like a normal GF. What a sl**. I hope he doesn't respond and knows how she lacks morals unlike you.

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PsychoSarah
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04 Jun 2013, 3:27 pm

The drama of relationships makes me happy I have never been in one.

auntblabby
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04 Jun 2013, 3:28 pm

corkyviolet wrote:

i've just had a long conversation with him and he didn't think messaging another person to provoke sexual tension was a concern in our relationship. he didn't think it was a 'big deal', but now knows that it is a 'big deal' to me...and will not do it again.

so, auntblabby, our heart-to-heart turned up information that he is devoted to me and understands my emotional conflict.

btw, we both have equal access to each others' phones which includes access to each others' messages.

that is progress.

EmoGlambertAspie
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04 Jun 2013, 3:43 pm

@corky He definitely needs to block her if she called you psycho for not wanting him to have sexual chats with her. She apparently has that entitled attitude the "other women" often have of "I get what I want and if he cheats, too bad. I'm better/prettier than her and she isn't making him happy." He should block her or at least unfriend her because women in that state of mind will keep pestering the guy, throw a (virtual) tantrum or at worst hack his Facebook to get what they want.

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auntblabby
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04 Jun 2013, 3:52 pm

as a cautionary tale, you both [talking to the OP] should sit down together and watch "fatal attraction."

Fnord
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04 Jun 2013, 5:06 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

OP, that's an act of cheating, not just potential cheating. Know the difference.

Actually, it's not "cheating" unless you're married.

auntblabby
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04 Jun 2013, 5:07 pm

whether or not physical sex is involved, it is cheating if you are dividing your allegiance.

Jono
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04 Jun 2013, 8:00 pm

Fnord wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

OP, that's an act of cheating, not just potential cheating. Know the difference.

Actually, it's not "cheating" unless you're married.

I don't see a moral difference between cheating on a girlfriend and cheating on a wife. They are both pretty much the same.

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