are there any other aspie guys who feel hopeless?

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Are these responses for the OP or for all of us?

i more or less have given up, I feel there is a degree of freedom in solitude but that doesn't mean i won't say no if the opportunity shows its self. I just have decided not to actively pursue women. As one man once said: Whatever happens...Happens..

I've given up completely on dating/relationships. I'm 29 and never had a serious relationship in my life. Who need this Barbie and Ken love anyway? I'd rather be miserable and cynical than faking a smile every day of my life.

In short. F**k romance and relationships.

EXACTLLY,,, where IM at, more so for females even

I'm not hopeless so much as frustrated.

To get a mate, you have to try continuously, without ever trying too hard.

So yes, it will take a lot of effort, but what's worse is the effort may need to be spread out over years, so as not to appear too desperate at any one time.

But if you're like me you want things now.

I haven't given up yet. Let's say that my time hasn't come yet. I might need to work harder though overall (get a job, hang out with people, etc)

That or go bar hopping with my older stepbrother and run into the only sober one there.

You two should hook up..

Either hopeless or just not ready yet.

The way you see yourself is the way that others, particularly women, see you. You must be the prize, the one that women want to win. In order to do that, you need to set that frame.

You care more than all of us do about whether you're in a relationship or not.

Yeah, but I'd very likely suck at it, anyway, so I'm doing the world a favor by not letting some other person end up with a lot of therapy bills. I should probably get a medal for that from the Red Cross or something.

And, I also take rejection/getting dumped extremely badly. Come on over ladies, crazy gets better with age, just like scotch and compost!

Ah well, male "cat lady" is fine with me. I like cats.

It gets harder and harder to relate to normality as I get older. People seem to take relationships, families, kids, career, and vacations with them and all the rest as a matter of course and can't relate to it not being possible unless you're a known serial killer or something.

Your story, you wrote it.

You remind me of an article I read yesterday about a cult that believes that if they believe that they can live on only light and air that it will become true. There have apparently been a number of deaths due to this. Or, the people who believe that type I diabetics don't need insulin if they believe they they don't. That also involved a number of fatalities. Barbara Ehernrich wrote a book, "Brightsiding," about how out of control that magical thinking has become. I.e. People being treated for cancer getting shamed for not being cured, since being cured depends on your believing enough.

The last time I ignored evidence, logic, and the reality of what I could handle I ended up threatening someone with a suicide and a 357 magnum. And, the time I ignored those things in terms of employment I nearly ended up homeless.

I also spent a miserable 15 years telling myself that I wasn't sick, it just all in my head and I was a lazy sack of s**t like everyone like you around me was saying, until I woke the *uck up, saw a doctor and ended up being diagnosed with a heart condition and brain damage. And it took a giant pile of money because a shocking number of doctors think like you do. I ultimately had to figure it out myself and demand specific tests tests. No thanks to people like you.

Sometimes, reality is really real and one ignores it at their peril.

But you do believe in aspergers, do you not? How is that any different from the hooplah that you just listed? Do you know how many deaths there have been related to AS diagnoses simply based on what doctors say to the patients?

I’m really hopeless in the dating arena, but it worries me little, because I’m also hopeless about bigger issues I’d have to solve first. Yes, I’m so hopelesser-than-thou.