Singles, how often do you do romantic/sexual things?

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How often do you do things similar to what is described below when you're single?

Never done anything like that	32%	[ 15 ]
A few times in years of being single	34%	[ 16 ]
A few times per year	11%	[ 5 ]
About monthly	4%	[ 2 ]
On a regular basis	13%	[ 6 ]
I've never been single long enough to tell	0%	[ 0 ]
Just show me the results	6%	[ 3 ]

Total votes : 47

Jaden
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14 Jun 2013, 10:19 am

Never.

The way that I seek companionship is far different than the way others do. This often leads nowhere, however, since I am unable to understand why and how humans interact, it is my only course of action, short of doing nothing.

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auntblabby
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14 Jun 2013, 3:21 pm

Vectorspace wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

perhaps a dumb observation, but I get the impression that the thing which separates the high-functioning aspie from the lower-functioning aspie, is social fluency [IOW being able to easily integrate into society, function well in high-status jobs and attract suitable mates without any difficulty].

I consider myself high-functioning because I can behave pretty normally in everyday situations. I can talk to people when it's about a specific matter, I don't freak out in crowded places, I manage to do my homework in time, I can work with other people, and there is very realistic hope that I will get a well-paid job in a few years. Nevertheless, I'm a total failure at the things you mentioned above.

thank you for your reply

isn't a well-paid job kind of a high-status job? after all, there are very few low-status jobs that pay well.

Vectorspace
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14 Jun 2013, 3:43 pm

auntblabby wrote:

isn't a well-paid job kind of a high-status job? after all, there are very few low-status jobs that pay well.

Depends on your understanding of "high-status". I think I'd be really bad as some kind of manager that has to supervise people; in the field of technology, you can be just an ordinary employee and still earn quite a bit of money if you're skilled. I'd rather do the high-skilled tasks myself instead of supervising others doing low-skilled tasks, though the latter often does imply an even better salary.

auntblabby
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14 Jun 2013, 4:01 pm

Vectorspace wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

isn't a well-paid job kind of a high-status job? after all, there are very few low-status jobs that pay well.

I guess i'd say a high-status job would be to be like a microsofty or other software engineer or engineer of any kind. I am guessing that is your forte.

1000Knives
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14 Jun 2013, 5:28 pm

I listen to sad slow romantic songs for much of my day.

I probably make an attempt at flirting like once a month.

I go on dates in Persona 4 the video game.

Nambo
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14 Jun 2013, 6:13 pm

Kjas wrote:

Don't worry about being a total failure at that stuff right now. You get better with practice.
It will take more practice than for an NT, it's true, but it's still doable - the worst part is getting started and learning the ropes. After that, the worst is over and you will become more comfortable with it.

Probably not what you mean, but whilst its true that with age I have become quite good at the initial part of the flirting business, I very quickly run out of steam and dont know what Iam supposed to do next, then the Woman becomes uncomfortable or disappointed and makes her excuses to move along.

ShamelessGit
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15 Jun 2013, 6:02 pm

Kjas wrote:

As a girl it's a bit different for me, because I don't flirt with people, as much as people flirt with me.
But in general, it's whenever I go out clubbing - which recently has been about once a week, that someone flirts with me.

Don't worry about being a total failure at that stuff right now. You get better with practice.
It will take more practice than for an NT, it's true, but it's still doable - the worst part is getting started and learning the ropes. After that, the worst is over and you will become more comfortable with it.

I did learn the ropes and it just made me bitter and cynical. I guess we've talked about this before.

Kjas
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15 Jun 2013, 6:16 pm

Nambo: That's the kind of thing that I meant. Knowing how to escalate so they don't lose interest is an essential part of that learning process.

Git: I too am now cynical - however it doesn't retract from the fact that you at least had one successful - or semi-successful - relationship.

In the case of the OP, he has never really done anything like it before and therefore needs to at least try it before deciding it's worth it or not.

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ShamelessGit
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15 Jun 2013, 6:36 pm

Kjas wrote:

you're probably right

Vectorspace
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15 Jun 2013, 6:51 pm

I started this thread for information purposes only, but I appreciate that you're still trying to help me.
I'd probably be lying if I said I was looking for a relationship, because that recent experience showed me that I know that I can't handle anything like that.
The main problem is my jealousy. When I go outside, I see "shiny happy people holding hands" everywhere. It feels like everyone at my age just graduated, and I'm still stuck in pre-school.

auntblabby
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15 Jun 2013, 10:54 pm

Vectorspace wrote:

I started this thread for information purposes only, but I appreciate that you're still trying to help me.

I'd probably be lying if I said I was looking for a relationship, because that recent experience showed me that I know that I can't handle anything like that.
The main problem is my jealousy. When I go outside, I see "shiny happy people holding hands" everywhere. It feels like everyone at my age just graduated, and I'm still stuck in pre-school.

you put that very aptly. the only way out is to luck into finding somebody who is unusually disenthralled by the normal social whirl [IOW not responsive to the normal male preening and flirting/etc.].

EmberEyes
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16 Jun 2013, 3:05 pm

So, I'm female, in my late 30's (uuugh) and I flirt daily. Or maybe not. The 'culture' at my workplace is to be very, how should I put it.... Sexually explicit, in the humor. It is just as common to say 'Honey-buns, come here and help me with...' as to say '[name], come here and help me with...'. Is it flirting, or is it just adapting to the jargon?

Vectorspace
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16 Jun 2013, 3:23 pm

EmberEyes wrote:

If it's just humor, I don't think it counts.

My ex-colleague that I talked about above used to address our 60-year-old coworker as "Sweetheart" all the time.
[Right before leaving, he switched to "Ćevapi" due to her Balkan origin.]

1401b
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17 Jun 2013, 9:19 pm

Kjas wrote:

As a girl it's a bit different for me, because I don't flirt with people, as much as people flirt with me.
But in general, it's whenever I go out clubbing - which recently has been about once a week, that someone flirts with me.

Don't worry about being a total failure at that stuff right now. You get better with practice.
It will take more practice than for an NT, it's true, but it's still doable - the worst part is getting started and learning the ropes. After that, the worst is over and you will become more comfortable with it.

He didn't say anything about success! ! Now I gotta change my vote...

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