What does 'I like a challenge' mean in relation to dating?

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I wish I had more going on in my life, to be quite honest with you. It has ground to a halt.

In any case, I'm starting to distance myself from her. I feel as though that if I behave the way she wants me to, I will end up hating myself and hating her and taking it out on her.

She actually does seem to really prefer men who don't actually like her very much. I love her lots, but this isn't attractive apparently.

If I act the way she wants me to, I'll probably succeed, but I will despise myself and I won't be able to perform.

I can't meld the two properly.

It means: "I am messed up in the head and I want to live a drama show".

What specific behaviour are you referring to Teq? Can you give us more concrete examples?

If she is not in a good headspace, then she will probably be attracted to people who treat her badly.

It sounds like more social conditioning garbage to me. You either want somebody or you don't. I hate people that are wishy washy. Make up your mind. I haven't got all day. Jeez.

Here it is for you: You pursue a woman and then you back off and supposedly the woman will want you more.

Here is how it should work: people actually say they like somebody the other person does too and the rest is history. Simple.

Why do people have to go and complicate something that should not be frickin rocket science.

Keep it simple stupid. Honestly every one should live by this golden rule.

Yes that sounds pretty accurate. Usually the ones that say they do not want any drama are the ones with the drama.

I guess a man isn't supposed to like a woman because that is unattractive. Sorry most people are extremely bizarre. The world makes little sense to me. Honestly getting a relationship is no fun for me anyways and it causes way too much frustration. I need to get myself straight first which will probably never happen. I mean it is too much commitment and too much hassle and too much money. I got worry about myself first.

Honestly, I have degree all I have to do is apply at a bunch of places in the video game industry and I could be making $30,000 a year. Honestly a relationship should be the last thing on my mind. I am looking for dates when I should be using my time to apply for jobs. The money is almost gone so it is getting down to the 11th hour.

Talk about not having my priorities straight. What woman wants an unemployed dude who lives at home with his parents. Don't laugh I had to do what I had to do. It is only for another 6 months. I mean anyone would jump on rent free. Sorry this is the real world you take what you can to get yourself in a position to support yourself. I started late because I wasted time becoming an alcoholic and then pissed everything away. I finally got it back just to probably fall back down again. Life is hard and its the only way to go. Life is not easy and no sane man would go where I have been. You don't know emotional torment unless you have experienced addiction. It is hardcore crazy and more pain than most people can handle and I am still here fighting it with all I got. Do not believe the people that say addicts are cowards. Their not and they are probably much tougher than you are. It takes drive to ruin your life. Believe me it is not an easy or softer way. It is hell. Drugs and alcohol can destroy you from the inside out and you just keep coming back for more punishment.

I have been sober for ten years and I fought for every minute of that time. I don't deserve any credit for that feat. I am just trying to be a member of the human race and be accountable for my own actions. I drank every drink I ever drank and no one ever forced me to do it. I did. I did it. So I have to correct the problem and I have. Never let anyone tell you they can't stop drinking it is a load of crap. Real men get sober little boys continue to drink.

I have done the "bad boy" thing for years and all that gave me was trouble from the cops and authority and anyone that challenges me. I mean I was always getting the cops called on me because I was either a drunken fool or just plain crazy. I have since changed my lying, cheating, and thieving ways. Before whatever was yours was mine and if you didn't give it up I took it behind your back. Since I was 16 I said I wanted to be an outlaw. But honestly I was young and stupid.

So in the end what kind of woman is going to want a crook like me only bad ones. Most of my life all I did was take,take,take. Well, now it is time for me to give back because what you don't give away you end up losing anyways.

Life has mostly consisted of finding something that can kill all the pain. Such a thing does not exist because avoidance of pain just breeds more pain. If you try to stop the pain you no longer grow. Honestly I was under an illusion that some relationship would fix me just like I though alcohol could fix me. Basically my life has been based on broken logic.

Ever heard the expression looking for answers at the bottom of a bottle. Well its true. Alcoholics drink because they are looking for answers in all the wrong places either that or they just like the effect produced by alcohol. But in the end I hated it and what it did to me. Now when I see a bottle it might as well have a skull and crossbones and be labelled poison.

Do I sound challenging enough? I have been told that I am impossible to live with but I am working on that one. I do not really play well with others and I am also working on that.

I just don't get any of this stuff. I am lost and confused as to why this has to be so complicated. I never do anything right and my aspergers is completely screwing me up in the head. The frustration level is intense many times and I basically have to remove myself from it otherwise anything that isn't tied down is going to get destroyed. People think I am insane. Women have said I am deranged and a psycho. If this happens anywhere else then I probably will get arrested and I probably would make it worse because someone may touch me when I am having a meltdown and they will probably get hurt.

When I am with a woman I cannot show I am there. I mean I want to but I don't know how. I mean I have no idea what they want me to do. I mean I am not even sure what it means to be "there".

I mean this last woman I was trying to date. She had all kinds of self-esteem issues and depression and it was exhausting because I had to constantly validate her. And in the end she couldn't deal with a new relationship. I mean I was there for her and I feel she just used me as a doormat.

I got angry with her. I mean I was wrong but I did it anyway. After everything I did and waiting to meet her she basically lied to me and made some excuse about it. Said she hated herself and was stunted and just could not commit after telling me she want a committed relationship with me. It's BS. Honestly all she did for hating herself was to make me hate her too. Some people are so messed up the only thing they will get from anyone is disrespect. I am talking about men and woman. no one can love anyone who hates themselves. They will only bring you down with them. Misery loves company. Funny how her facebook name was Mora Misery and now it no longer exists.

I mean it has taken me weeks to get over this and honestly I am done pursuing relationships.

Please I do not want people to judge me or tell me what to do. I honestly do not repsond well to "you need to do this." Yeah probably no one f'in cares anyways. It seems joining this site was not a good idea. I will just end up arguing with someone and then it takes me awhile to calm down.

Honestly a person can not expect you to be there at all times. If a woman ends up leaving someone because they were just having a stressful time than they are insensitive. No one is perfect. If you love someone you will love them even with flaws.

People need to realize that "aspies" have a tendency to not be all there and in our own world. If a woman cannot deal with that leave them first because you need someone with patience.

I am done trying to cater to everyone especially if they will not lift a finger and make me do all the work.

I mean if a man is not being attentive to a woman, the woman needs to speak up. Honestly I am not attracted to any woman who will not speak up and for themselves. If you feel that you are being ignored say something. Especially if the man is an "aspie". There is no excuse for leaving someone and not actually trying to communicate with them as to what they want. A woman needs to be pretty understanding and has to deal with don time and feel neglected with an "aspie". The majority of "aspies" have difficulty expressing their feelings and sometimes they are just not sure how to be fun or engaging.

This is the last post because now I am having the problem of psoting way too much. It always seems to get me into trouble and people then just ignore me. It seems to happen a lot on here and it is frustrating. I mean I probably am not really following the conversation which I also tend to do.

THAT is what is attractive about you. You're not bullsh!tting her like every. single. other. man. does. Women are sick of it.

Weird is that when I do disagree with her, she doesn't actually like it and gets very annoyed.

I don't fecking know. She can go to hell. I think she just likes people who are out to use her.

I would have another pop at Boo on the Ikhwani thread, but I'm a bit low at the moment.

Hmm. Maybe just some women then.

Why so low? I'd recommend Spongebob, but I'd have a guess that it isn't your thing. It cheers me up anyway. Otherwise, just blast some Queen out.

Sometimes just concentrating on yourself is a good thing. BTW, ever thought of supported accommodation? What are your thoughts on that?

I'd love to do that. I do go out and walk every day (sometimes twice!), but in many respects I still feel as though I am a child.

I have a sleep disorder that I am looking into - this is not helping matters. I have felt constantly tired and unrefreshed for many years, and I am going private to deal with it.

Oh, and executive functioning doesn't exist. It is nearly a foreign concept to me. Years ago, when I was refreshed, I felt I could do things. I was still depressed, but now there is nothing there.

Essentially, I am still a child with an added fear of others, which only slightly dissipates when drinking. That is the truth of it.

It's a long story and I don't want to bore you with anything. I am not the only person not to have problems. I am not a woman living in Sudan, or a peasant living in North Korea, or a journalist living in Iran, or a peasant building mud bricks in Bangladesh.

Maybe it's just me....but it seems that there wasn't really anything wrong with the way things were going. You asked a question about a statement she made and now by page two, you no longer want the girl you so deeply loved on page one!! All because of what others have interpreted her statement to mean. Maybe just ask her????(I think I read everything, you haven't done that yet, right?) Don't doom this before it gets off the ground. I always thought "I love a challenge" could mean different things but mainly that person feels they can't have you but they want you or they don't fully understand you and it's their goal to understand you completely.
This reminds me of the threads where the person asks "what did my Aspie mean?" And everyone says "Ask him/her!"

***Okay I reread and it looks like she gave you an answer. I didn't see anything bad about her response. I can totally understand what she meant my she doesn't like it when guys don't always agree with her. I like that about my Aspie friend. He has a way of making me see the other side of things. I like that. I can get carried away and he has a way of "reeling" me back in. I LOVE IT! He has a way of balancing me out. A man who always agrees with me equates to a spineless jellyfish and I can run over a guy like that.

Last edited by IlovemyAspie on 04 Jul 2013, 11:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm just very frustrated at the moment. Ignore me.

I really am quite badly depressed at the moment and I don't want to continue talking about this.

In fact, might be best if the thread is closed.

As you wish......

Why don't you check it out? My friend would have someone visit her once or more a day and it was an option for her to have people to help her tidy up, and yet she basically had her place to herself. You can always go and live back at your parent's if you wish.

Walking is a good start. Walking to new places without turning it into chore, by making your choice on the day is also good.



I don't really know what it means, so that's over my head. What do you mean by "refreshed"?



Some people take longer to grow than others, but it doesn't mean they can't continue to grow. Sometimes depression and feeling nothing is the start of something new (because you can't wait to get out of it, you end up doing something about it eventually).