Look out! It's a Nice Guy! DESTROY HIM!!

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Lezoah
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25 Jul 2013, 12:41 am

Greb wrote:

Kjas wrote:

Let's be honest.

Women have no problem with men who are genuinely decent people.

They have a problem with 2 things:
a) Guys who feel they deserve, are entitled to, or have a victim attitude about things, especially about women
and
b) Guys who lack purpose, clarity, and depth; who are great at something and have something to give to the world and live it and have something to show for it.

Now if you are both A and B, well then yes, you are well and truly screwed.

Yeap, this is exactly the problem. If you meet a decent guy and you're not attracted by him, then he has to fit one of those two options. Or perhaps both of them. Because otherwise, you'd find him attractive (what doesn't mean that you would want something with him, but at least you would agree he's attractive).

So this is the problem for decent guys. In order to justify the lack of attraction they're accused of points (a) and (b) you stated. It's understandable they get disappointed.

I'm not entirely sure what your gripe is here. Are you saying that the problem for "decent" guys is that some women will friendzone them purely on a basis of attraction, but accuse them of some wrongdoing (a la points (a) and (b)) so they don't have to outright say that they don't find the guy attractive?

Kjas
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25 Jul 2013, 12:44 am

Greb wrote:

"Nice" and "decent" are not the same thing.
Those two things I stated is what separates "Nice" guys, who most women don't want to date, from the "decent" guys that most really would really love to date.

It's been said again and again - your problem is not being "nice" whatever that is.

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Last edited by Kjas on 25 Jul 2013, 12:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

Greb
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25 Jul 2013, 12:44 am

Lezoah wrote:

Yeap. Check the video. This is indeed one of the main points.

Kjas wrote:

"Nice" and "decent" are not the same thing.

Tell me the difference.

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MjrMajorMajor
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25 Jul 2013, 1:07 am

When I see someone categorize themselves as a "nice guy", I do wonder about authenticity. If someone defines nice as pleasing others to the detriment of themselves, I'm going to be looking for hidden aggression simmering underneath. If nice=unassertive, then I don't find it attractive in anyone.
This is what I'd think of a self-proclaimed "nice guy", vs a decent and thoughtful one.

The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Jul 2013, 1:16 am

Kjas wrote:

You're talking in the name of ALL women? :p

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25 Jul 2013, 1:25 am

Greb wrote:

Kjas wrote:

"Nice" and "decent" are not the same thing.

Tell me the difference.

I did in my original post.
Nice guys generally have Point A and Point B.
Decent guys never have Point A, and usually don't have, Point B either.

To be a decent guy, and get women:

All you need is the absence of point A primarily - no entitlement or victim attitude

Quote:

a) Guys who feel they deserve, are entitled to, or have a victim attitude about things, especially about women

Apart from that - to be good at something and use it.
That will also be enough to get women if you are kind, have some form of social skills and do not look absolutely terrible.

Not being Point B is really mostly an optional extra provided you can do the above.

Quote:

b) Guys who lack purpose, clarity, and depth; who aren't great at something and don't have something to give to the world and live it and don't have something to show for it.

No Boo, not all - just the majority of mentally sound women who have their heads on straight.

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Lezoah
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25 Jul 2013, 1:33 am

The thing that gets me about the Decent Guy is that his argument basically amounts to, "Well I don't, like, beat you or treat you like dirt, so isn't that enough?"
The bottom line is, it shouldn't be. No one should feel like they have to be with someone just because they're not downright abusive so as not to hurt their feelings. I really can't stress this enough, that is not a selling point. It's like you're an airline pilot who announces before every flight, "I've never had to crash land in the ocean once."

The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Jul 2013, 2:25 am

mattarga wrote:

Finally!! A woman who tells it just like it really is! This is what I have struggled with my entire life. I am a genuine 100% nice guy, and yet I am alone. So what does that tell you? The answer is obvious!

You're overweight, bald, lacking social skills (AS) and... what do you do in life? Umm, do you have a car? A place of your own?

Greb
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25 Jul 2013, 2:26 am

Kjas wrote:

Greb wrote:

Kjas wrote:

"Nice" and "decent" are not the same thing.

Tell me the difference.

I did in my original post.

Quote:

They have a problem with 2 things:
a) Guys who feel they deserve, are entitled to, or have a victim attitude about things, especially about women
and
b) Guys who lack purpose, clarity, and depth; who are great at something and have something to give to the world and live it and have something to show for it.

Nice guys generally have Point A and Point B.
Decent guys never have Point A, and usually don't have, Point B either.

To be a decent guy, and get women:

All you need is the absence of point A primarily - no entitlement or victim attitude

Fine. Let's check it.

(1) They think they deserve it. And what's the bloody problem with that? Everybody is entitled to think he or she deserves the best. Do you think that other men don't? Do you think that women don't? Check this.

https://www.facebook.com/princess00x

Indeed, what women think they deserve goes much farther than guys. You won't see nice guys saying 'I want to be treated as a prince'.

(2) They lacking purpose, clarity and depth. Fake.

I have seen nice guys working hard to get a career, with a clear purpose. They're friendzoned. At least, until they get money.

(3) Nice guys generally have Point A and Point B. Decent guys never have Point A, and usually don't have, Point B either.

Well, I heard about men having point G too, bot first time I hear from points A and B. Translation, please?

(4) Apart from that - to be good at something and use it.

Why is this a difference between 'nice' and 'decent'?

And featuring:

Quote:

When I see someone categorize themselves as a "nice guy", I do wonder about authenticity. If someone defines nice as pleasing others to the detriment of themselves, I'm going to be looking for hidden aggression simmering underneath. If nice=unassertive, then I don't find it attractive in anyone.
This is what I'd think of a self-proclaimed "nice guy", vs a decent and thoughtful one.

Well, the problem with hidden intentions is that you can assign any hidden intention to anybody you want. There's no way to prove you wrong, to defend from this or to refute. After all, they're hidden.

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25 Jul 2013, 2:38 am

Wrong. Nobody is entitled to anything.

Just like my old colleague who was a girl. She had all these requirements for a guy she would date. The list she told me was as follows:

- She wanted him to have his own place
- She wanted him to have a licence and a car
- She wanted him to have a job
- She wanted him to be mostly independent from his family
- She wanted him to be super religious
- She wanted him to be good looking
- She wanted him to be fit
- She wanted him to be accepting

The problem with all of this? She still lived with her parents. She didn't have a licence or a car. She only had a casual job. She was totally dependent on her family. She was not good looking at all. She was the last thing from fit - very overweight. She was not accepting at all and was very judgemental. She is however, super religious.

When I asked her why any guy would want to sdate her, her answer was "I am me, any guy will be lucky to have me." When I asked what she brought to the table, she said "I am nice and a good person." Yeah - but she only had 1 of the traits in her own list that she actually met. If she has only one, why would a guy like that look twice at her? He won't.

2 years later she is still single, hasn't had a boyfriend, and constantly complains that men only like beautiful women and b*tchy women.
I think everyone can see the problem here. I named her "Nice Girl™". Same problem as a nice guy - entitlement attitude gets you nowhere.

So no, feeling entitled to something gets you nowhere because nobody actually owes you anything.

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Last edited by Kjas on 25 Jul 2013, 2:42 am, edited 2 times in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Jul 2013, 2:40 am

Quote:

3) Nice guys generally have Point A and Point B. Decent guys never have Point A, and usually don't have, Point B either.

Well, I heard about men having point G too, bot first time I hear from points A and B. Translation, please?

A is armpit, B is butt.

The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Jul 2013, 2:46 am

Quote:

- She wanted him to have his own place
- She wanted him to have a licence and a car
- She wanted him to have a job
- She wanted him to be mostly independent from his family
- She wanted him to be super religious
- She wanted him to be good looking
- She wanted him to be fit
- She wanted him to be accepting

The problem with all of this? She still lived with her parents. She didn't have a licence or a car. She only had a casual job. She was totally dependent on her family. She was not good looking at all. She was the last thing from fit - very overweight. She was not accepting at all and was very judgemental. She is however, super religious.

lol , this contradiction is so common, I saw it in many forms: Job, car, place...also physically lol.
Like the 5'3 girls who say they wouldn't date a guy less than 6'.

I see a lot of this entitlement on dating sites.

Greb
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25 Jul 2013, 2:51 am

Kjas wrote:

With all due respect, that's BS. Everybody has a minimun, everybody has dealbreaker. Don't you have them?

The problem with your friend is not that she has a minimum. The problem is that she was delusional. Her minimum was way up over she was offering.

So now, let's see the typical nice guy. His minimum is a normal nice girl. Not specially beautiful, not specially successful, not a good job needed. Just a nice girl next door that cares for him. Now the question: why is this being way up over what he is offering?

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

A is armpit, B is butt.

That's why I prefer nice girls over decent girls, that don't have a good point B :lol:

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The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Jul 2013, 2:54 am

Quote:

So now, let's see the typical nice guy. His minimum is a normal nice girl. Not specially beautiful, not specially successful, not a good job needed. Just a nice girl next door that cares for him. Now the question: why is this being way up over what he is offering?

^ because sperm is way cheaper than eggs.

Kjas
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25 Jul 2013, 3:32 am

Greb wrote:

Actually - no, it's not any different. Most people, in case you haven't noticed - don't like to actually look at themselves and be totally and completely honest with themselves. Most people therefore, are quite delusional - as well as very entitled. Because they spend so much time about thinking about what they want and feel entitled to - they totally forget to actually think about what other people might want and consider of value, what they bring to the table that someome else considers useful or valueable (rather than what they demand they should value).

The problem is that people who operate from these models are valuing something in themselves that either they do not have, does not show or is of no value to the people they want. Otherwise they would not have issues with this if they were not doing that.

And she's not my friend. None of my friends are like that.
Women like her are not rare. There are entire forums just for dealing with that.

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Greb
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25 Jul 2013, 3:45 am

Kjas wrote:

Greb wrote:

This quite clear, and it's just beating around the same bush with different new words to avoid the question. So I copypaste the question and change it to fit these new words:

So now, let's see the typical nice guy. His minimum is a normal nice girl. Not specially beautiful, not specially successful, not a good job needed. Just a nice girl next door that cares for him. Now the question: why does not show or has he no value for a next door girl that is in a similar level?

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