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TeaEarlGreyHot
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03 Oct 2013, 1:15 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
I'm going to have to agree with lost561 that this question is simply too broad and lacks specifics.
And everyone else, I usually disagree with lost as much as you guys but you shouldn't argue with him for the sake of arguing with him.
You're disagreeing with him on something you actually agree with, it's kinda childish. Stick to helping the OP.

clacrymosa, could you tell us what happened in the order it happened?


I'm not disagreeing just to argue. I disagree with the premise that bullying is sometimes warranted. It's retaliation if warranted, not bullying.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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03 Oct 2013, 1:19 pm

lost561 wrote:


I'd rather be "bullied" than get my ass kicked. What would you rather partake in?

Edit: so if the OP left out the fact that their boyfriend or girlfriend went into an online forum and used a racial slur for no reason other than an insult, would you leave the forum?


I'd rather get my ass kicked, tbh. It's straight forward and doesn't erode your sense of self-worth the way bullying can. Granted, online bullying has no affect on me personally. If people are being unkind, I simply leave. What's the point of interacting with them?


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lost561
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03 Oct 2013, 1:44 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
lost561 wrote:


I'd rather be "bullied" than get my ass kicked. What would you rather partake in?

Edit: so if the OP left out the fact that their boyfriend or girlfriend went into an online forum and used a racial slur for no reason other than an insult, would you leave the forum?


I'd rather get my ass kicked, tbh. It's straight forward and doesn't erode your sense of self-worth the way bullying can. Granted, online bullying has no affect on me personally. If people are being unkind, I simply leave. What's the point of interacting with them?


You'd rather physically get your butt kicked than be taunted or bullied online? :lol:



lost561
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03 Oct 2013, 1:46 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
JanuaryMan wrote:
I'm going to have to agree with lost561 that this question is simply too broad and lacks specifics.
And everyone else, I usually disagree with lost as much as you guys but you shouldn't argue with him for the sake of arguing with him.
You're disagreeing with him on something you actually agree with, it's kinda childish. Stick to helping the OP.

clacrymosa, could you tell us what happened in the order it happened?


I'm not disagreeing just to argue. I disagree with the premise that bullying is sometimes warranted. It's retaliation if warranted, not bullying.


Retaliation is just a name for the weapon of choice.

That weapon could be bullying, a physical beat down, a shooting, a slap on the wrist, or a simple " I demand an apology"



TeaEarlGreyHot
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03 Oct 2013, 1:53 pm

lost561 wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
lost561 wrote:


I'd rather be "bullied" than get my ass kicked. What would you rather partake in?

Edit: so if the OP left out the fact that their boyfriend or girlfriend went into an online forum and used a racial slur for no reason other than an insult, would you leave the forum?


I'd rather get my ass kicked, tbh. It's straight forward and doesn't erode your sense of self-worth the way bullying can. Granted, online bullying has no affect on me personally. If people are being unkind, I simply leave. What's the point of interacting with them?


You'd rather physically get your butt kicked than be taunted or bullied online? :lol:


As I said, online bullying has no affect on me. Bullying in person can have a major affect, as it is not just people saying horrible things to my face, but people actively trying to sabotage me behind my back. Online, I can just walk away and it's over.

And yes, I really would rather an ass kicking than bullying. I can't wrap my head around someone that wouldn't. Of course, I'd rather neither, and the chances of them getting their asses kicked is higher as I fight dirty, but that's beside the point.


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lost561
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03 Oct 2013, 1:56 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
lost561 wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
lost561 wrote:


I'd rather be "bullied" than get my ass kicked. What would you rather partake in?

Edit: so if the OP left out the fact that their boyfriend or girlfriend went into an online forum and used a racial slur for no reason other than an insult, would you leave the forum?


I'd rather get my ass kicked, tbh. It's straight forward and doesn't erode your sense of self-worth the way bullying can. Granted, online bullying has no affect on me personally. If people are being unkind, I simply leave. What's the point of interacting with them?


You'd rather physically get your butt kicked than be taunted or bullied online? :lol:


As I said, online bullying has no affect on me. Bullying in person can have a major affect, as it is not just people saying horrible things to my face, but people actively trying to sabotage me behind my back. Online, I can just walk away and it's over.

And yes, I really would rather an ass kicking than bullying. I can't wrap my head around someone that wouldn't. Of course, I'd rather neither, and the chances of them getting their asses kicked is higher as I fight dirty, but that's beside the point.


There was a group of them bullying the OPs boyfriend/ girlfriend. What if it was you vs a group of them?



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03 Oct 2013, 4:20 pm

Thelibrarian wrote:
Since I deal with Internet bullies constantly, I've found that the best way to deal with them is to call them on their abuse--in other words, always take the high road. A bully is one who behaves like a petulant child, so they should be treated like petulant children. The bully usually either straightens up or leaves in embarrassment.

That was what I was thinking as well.



JanuaryMan
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03 Oct 2013, 4:34 pm

arnoldmcguire335 wrote:
Thelibrarian wrote:
Since I deal with Internet bullies constantly, I've found that the best way to deal with them is to call them on their abuse--in other words, always take the high road. A bully is one who behaves like a petulant child, so they should be treated like petulant children. The bully usually either straightens up or leaves in embarrassment.

That was what I was thinking as well.


Amen. Also, I really wish people would help the OP with their bullying / SO issue rather than get so wrapped up in their own.
Well...OP can we have any more details? Or are you just looking for an answer to a very subjective question?

I can understand a person leaving a forum if their SO is simply bullied for interacting and they don't bond well with the in-crowds.
I however would say "they had it coming" if they joined a forum, were abusive or ill mannered, and expected your moral support throughout that procedure.
So it really depends on the full story. Without that, none of us would be a fit judge for this scenario.



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04 Oct 2013, 9:11 am

lost561 wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
lost561 wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Bullying is never deserved... that's what makes it bullying.

As for me, I really don't know. I'm not sure I'd be able to stay simply because I would have lost respect for the forum.


What if you walked up to a group of black people and said a racial slur? Would bullying be warranted then?


You'd deserve to get your a$$ kicked.....just sayin'.....



I'd rather be "bullied" than get my ass kicked. What would you rather partake in?

Edit: so if the OP left out the fact that their boyfriend or girlfriend went into an online forum and used a racial slur for no reason other than an insult, would you leave the forum?


Using the racial slur would make you the bully. Kicking your ass would be standing up against bullying.

I get your point though.



Thelibrarian
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04 Oct 2013, 9:16 am

JanuaryMan wrote:
arnoldmcguire335 wrote:
Thelibrarian wrote:
Since I deal with Internet bullies constantly, I've found that the best way to deal with them is to call them on their abuse--in other words, always take the high road. A bully is one who behaves like a petulant child, so they should be treated like petulant children. The bully usually either straightens up or leaves in embarrassment.

That was what I was thinking as well.


Amen. Also, I really wish people would help the OP with their bullying / SO issue rather than get so wrapped up in their own.
Well...OP can we have any more details? Or are you just looking for an answer to a very subjective question?

I can understand a person leaving a forum if their SO is simply bullied for interacting and they don't bond well with the in-crowds.
I however would say "they had it coming" if they joined a forum, were abusive or ill mannered, and expected your moral support throughout that procedure.
So it really depends on the full story. Without that, none of us would be a fit judge for this scenario.


If the OP were to provide an example of what he is encountering, it would be possible to show him good ways to deal with things.



WestBender84
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05 Oct 2013, 7:19 pm

Keep using the forum until your SO says, "It's me or the forum!" Then when you choose your SO, it will look like a more heroic sacrifice even if you had planned to leave anyway. :D


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LeLetch
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05 Oct 2013, 7:36 pm

octobertiger wrote:
I don't get this internet bullying thing. Surely bullying is bullying when it impacts directly upon one's real life...

Surely learning how to deal with certain online situations is a way ahead, rather than retreating at the first sign of difficulty. Mind you, as has been said, the OP's situation is unclear.


I don't know. Theoretically, a bully/victim thing online, where you can place blame squarely on the bully, is when a bully uses an aggressive and abusive stance against a quiet reserved individual, where a passive individual is chosen because they are unlikely to resist, and the bully must make others feel bad in some way in order lift himself up, emotionally.

Even if that's happenning, context is necessary. This is the internet. Some may believe it's just par for the course (verbal aggression), and are not intentional bullies. And that's assuming that what's going on really is going on in the context of the outlined bully-passive relationship above.

We're trying too hard. It's probably not a pure case of bullying, but meh, just side with your significant other. Unless you want to pursue finding out the origin of the supposed bullying, thus turning what is likely to be petty internet bickering, into a real life relationship drama. :/


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