I'm a 28 year virgin and I feel like life is passing me by.

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For most men, I'd say they have the order the other way round.

Sex, an expression of love (typical female) against love, an expression of sex (typical male)

These answers are great- and I really appreciate them, but I guess there's some other information I didn.t mention. Due to myy low vision and physical disability, I don.t drive. I also only have a few friends, and they aren.t into the bar and clubbing scene.

I think that is probably one of, if not, the biggest problems in settled relationships - especially when either partner are convinced that their way is the right way. Biology and conditioning can reinforce both positions. Entrenched positions create bitterness.

Of course there are exceptions to this, and people of both sexes can change their position over time, and hormones change, too.

All the understanding in the world won't matter, if one or both parties aren't prepared to compromise, the relationship can be posioned beyond repair - love or no love. Very depressing.

And this is the thing that irks me about the Love and Dating section. It's all about short-term fixes - virginity, meeting the girl, first date...great. Very important to some. But it's the tip of the iceberg - the real deal for most is relationships, and many men really don't get much help, many role models or ideas as to how they work. Of course, that is partly their own fault, and partly society assuming that they 'just know'. Well, they do not, I did not, and experience is sometimes a very cruel teacher when it comes to living with someone and sharing a life with them - especially if you don't know who you are yourself.

it takes two to tango. both parties have to work together or else the relationship is toast.

Not necessarily. One party often ends up compromising, and the relationship carries on. Not an ideal situation, but most partners really don't choose each other on communication skills and compromising skills, do they.

But a lot of them do last. Children, mortgages, becoming used to each other...

They aren't healthy relationships, as you say.

I agree with what you saying. In my experience, most married couples, after a time, do not like each other, they tolerate each other, sometimes grudgingly. People shrug their shoulders and get on with it. I couldn't do that, and neither could you, it seems.

the lucky and the unlucky might as well live in different universes.

Yeah.

Sometimes I think we all live in different universes.

in a sense, we do.