Does "Let's just be friends" exist between people

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I get what you mean, and I do agree with your statement.

^^I am usually happy to be just friends.

Sometimes though, I do meet people who I might like to take that extra step with. But I'm far too shy usually.

@ Boo, I get it now and agree, in those situations it's probably meant as a polite brush off

@ babybird Aww.

If done right, it shouldn't be much different then making friends with a man. In fact, it's pretty much the same.

Getting along with them and also thinking they are hot does not equal romantic attraction. I think that's where so many nieve men (I used to be among them) go wrong and they ruin what could be a potentially beneficial relationship right off the bat by taking things too personally and getting romantically attached before thier attraction is even revealed to the unwitting female.

I've been "friendzoned"(hate that term ) multiple times before. The last time it happened I eventually got over my infatuation by realizing that we really would make better friends. Dating her would have been a nightmare for both of us. She's currently my primary drinking buddy and has given me plenty of very useful dating advice. Could have done what most "Nice Guys(TM)" do and ditched the girl as soon as it was clear she wasn't interested in my junk but then I would have missed out.

Eventually the worm started turning. Being on the other side of rejection is even more painful, trust me. Unless she's a sociopath or something she likely isn't enjoying it.

And seriously, have you ever met an Aspie with "too many" friends. We could all use more so why waste such an opportunity?

so, what does equal romantic attraction? I actually don't know.

In my experience, friendship with a group of the opposite sex has its limitations - I am talking purely friendship-wise with no romantic side both ways; but that's for another thread.

Now you're getting into very complicated and esoteric "chemistry" territory. I have no easy answer or description for someone who hasn't experienced it before.

From what I've noticed, if it's not immediately obvious on the first date, there likely isn't something there. It also really needs to be mutual, otherwise it's just infatuation (where one person is projecting what they want from the other rather than anything actually being there.) These are just what I have experienced and should in no way be used to generalize.

That's great that she's your drinking buddy and date advice giver geeko but the majority of the time when women friend zone guys they really don't care enough about them to give them advice and be friends. Another poster mentioned in this thread or another thread that the woman usually ends up just using the man for entertainment when she has nothing else better to do and that's the extent of most friend zone relationships.

I've never understood many things about the resentment of being friends with someone of the opposite gender if there no perceived 'benefits' (which of course could never be mutual enjoyment of each others company sans sex). Since that's an argument that has been hashed out several thousand times by now, however, I will ask a different question. Specifically of those who believe in the plight of the cruel, cruel 'friendzone'.
Where do gay men fit into that?
Is it the same with all romantic/sexual attraction, regardless of gender?
Or is it just worse because the women have all those lady bits that straight men feel the need to behave rather possessively about?
Maybe one can never make actually make friends with anyone of any gender, just in case.

Yes often times "just be friends" is just a polite rejection and you never hear back (especially if it was in a date context.) But it goes both ways dude. Most guys who complain about being "friendzoned" start making themselves scarce once it's clear that the women isn't interested in thier junk. Making it obvoius that the only reason they were "friends" in the first place is they were hoping for p****. I have multiple female friends whom this has happened to.

Also, how do you define "using the man for entertainment?" How is that different then hanging out with a friend (something most people do for entertainment when they I have nothing better to do)? How would a girl be "using" a man friend any more than she'd be "using" a female friend?

I want to be friends with male people but it never seems to work out. They always want more or I want more or sometimes both of us want more so end up in an ill-advised relationship for years..it's a mess

Geekonychus - my next thread request is a treatise on emotional maturity. Teach it to us, be The Dude.

Leafplant, let's just be friends.





/blocking leafplant for good.

women who know you are into them and just want to be friends are not really your friends. You think I want to be friends with the likes of you if you treat me like a fool. Shame on her.

Friends do not try to torture you. Friends do not play this kind of game. If a girl does this to you tell her to get lost. Friend zone is not really about friends. It has a severely negative connotation as it means you are actually into them and they couldn't care less how you feel. This is a thing that women do that guys just cannot deal with. If I like you and you don't I no longer want anything to do with.

I am not going to listen to all her problems about her relationships and other problems and let her use me as a door mat. No thanks. The ship has sailed, go away. If you don't like me that way I want nothing to do with you or your skinny ass. Honestly here is my advice: drop them if they do this. Who knows maybe if you leave them be they will start desiring you and then they come crawling back and I think you should still say no to them let them beg. I am the type of person that gives what I get. If you are loyal and respect me than you will get the same in return. If you treat me badly you get it back the same. Treat others the way they have done unto you.

The fact is men chase after women and if you find out the guy just wants sex that is the way of the world. It is darwinism. It is the furthuring of our species. Men who only want sex are only interested in their natural evolution. Men are supposed to get women into bed with them with the purpose of bearing many children. Just not something that is really practiced in American culture and most other cultures in this day and age. Darwin is now turning in his grave. I mean most people only have 2 children at most what a joke. Women used to bear dozens of children for their man.

We are raised to believe that wanting sex is bad and women are taught to watch out for the guy who wants sex as the main reason for pursuing women. I guess I still believe in old world values. Men are supposed to seduce women in any way possible. Because we are all just animals really with a smart brain. I know my views could be considered misogynistic. I am done believing in love and actual relationships. It is a waste of time and your efforts should be given to something more important like enjoying life, maybe. I tried a relataionship and it was not fun and she ended up hating me.

That's good. Most women would find your views and, by extension you, revolting anyway.........

With an attitude like that, I'd imagine it's imossible for you to handle a real relationship anyway. best to not waste time.

Last edited by Geekonychus on 25 Oct 2013, 3:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Google:
7.046 billion (2012)
Earth, Population


Oh boy, no thanks, enough popping out a lot of babies.