I played a mind game on my gf.

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It's all about who's going to be in control of the marriage.

Ah, a power play, then. Never liked those. So tiring. I prefer an equal, not a lapdog.

Those who end up with lapdogs for husbands are often critical of their husbands for no longer being tigers.

^ um, yeah, I know the whole Aspie Pride thing is a big deal with some, but let's face it, we are not exactly poster children for healthy relating here..

I blame it more on the fact that my father was the same way, and thus I thought that my ex's behavior was normal (for the first ten years, anyway).

(shrug) Well, a lot of guys seem to want lapdogs for partners.
It's why they try to dump their partners at the first sign of compromise, or if their partner expects them to behave in a reasonable manner or with respect.

Sure, I'd like it if my wife were more accommodating; but then she wouldn't be interesting.

Both men and women do that, it just seems more obvious when a man does because we've been programmed to recognize it. When women do it, they're just 'standing up to the man'.

A lot of people are blind to bad behavior and warning signs from women because we are often given the benefit of doubt. It's not okay no matter who's doing it. Putting someone down, belittling them, and expecting them to become an empty shell of a person so you can make them into whatever you want is abuse, plain and simple.

The sub-par grades she had gotten recently in the guise of things about me.



Hopefully you weren't taking your own problems out on him!



Quite the contrary, she later told me she has a history of being very controlling of her boyfriends. I'm the first one to fight back so much. Hopefully I won't have to do this again.



Later, I managed to make it pretty clear that was precisely how things were going to be. I think that's ultimately what this was: She was testing my mettle a bit, seeing how easily I was able to bend. Well, Aspie stubbornness has its virtues.



Yea that's pretty much what I'm thinking.

Well, the last time he tried it, it was because he'd put a dirty dish in the kitchen sink before he went to bed, and in the morning it was still there! Oh, and that same night he'd given me a row for not looking at him when he was speaking to me. (I'd glanced at the blurb on the back of the book he was talking about). When I asked why it was ok for him sometimes to leave the room while I was speaking to him, he told me, in all seriousness, that that was ok because he was the man!

But it was the dirty dish which he seemed to think was enough for him to threaten divorce. He sent me a text to that effect, while I was on the way to uni to sit an exam.

Well in my case it was because of her grades, and she gets a bit melancholy and irritable when she's not feeling so happy. However, I'm not exactly wanting to establish a precedent here where she's allowed to wear me down like that every time she's feeling bad. Fortunately by this point we've worked through it...hopefully.



I'd really rather not have to go PUA mode on her on a regular basis, though. Hopefully these "displays of power" will be unnecessary in the future, I've demonstrated that I know how to push back.

It seems that it was more a case of establishing boundaries on your part, than mind games. Hopefully, you can work through these issues in a way that is good for you both.

Seemed like a mind game to me. I deliberately evoked the fear of a breakup even when I wasn't considering one...yet.

What if she'd agreed a break up was the right thing to do?

Then it probably was. That's the thing: No matter what, the outcome was favorable to me. I either "passed the test", or I ended a relationship that wasn't right for either of us.

This does not really have anything to do with the actual situation but I was just thinking playing mind games with women who do it is funny because it is like "How does that feel? Do you like it? well, now you know how it feels when you do it to me"

Although if the woman does not play mind games it would be completely wrong. Like maybe in this situation it probably was not the best idea to play mind games.

I know a bunch of morally upright people are going to say that is revenge. But sometimes revenge tastes so sweet.

The one thing I would say to a woman who plays mind games is "I do what I say and I say what I mean"

I honestly have never played mind game with anyone before. Not really my style actually. I do not think you should do it especially "mock" breaking-up because it could blow up in your face. Not the best idea ever.

Honestly did you try maybe considering what she says about her complaints.

I mean mind games are a form of control and power. People who are after these things usually use manipulation to get what they want and those would be considered mind games.