Would you have a relationship with a vampire ?

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Yes. He can suck me out all night.

If vampires were real (which they are NOT), I would not hesitate to join the Van Helsing Society.

Fnord is one of life's unintentionally funny people. Although sometimes he knows he is being funny. (Heidi?)

I'm not into the undead, personally.

I know this is supposed to be a fun thread (I think), but...this thread has been freaking me out a little, and no joke - I kind of did have a relationship with a vampire.

She wasn't into drinking blood (maybe that would have been a natural progression!), but she had a bit of a thing for biting. No, actually, a huge thing for biting. It started with little nibbles, and before long, she was urging me to almost take chunks out of her. I never felt comfortable doing it, but it made her feel good, so I kind of did as much as I could get away with. I'm not into inflicting pain. I liked the nibbles (wouldn't be much of a tiger if I didn't ), but there's a line between fun and freaky, for me.

It escalated quickly. I remember one particular time (the last one!), once I'd finished chomping everywhere, she moaned the place down, looking completely happy, and spent, like someone post-orgasm. I said that I couldn't believe she could feel so good. She decided to return the favour, and to show me how good it could be... She started biting me even harder than I bit her - I cannot convey the complete shock I felt. This from a small shy pretty woman - unbelievable. Honestly, I felt like I was in a zombie movie for a while. I had to push her off me and restrain her. Couldn't stay the night with her; pretended a client called and needed me straight away.

The next day I talked to her on the phone, and she expressed disappointment that I hadn't left many marks, apart from on the bridge of her nose (luckily covered by glasses). This really got me worried. I had massive bruises and marks - you should have seen them - so I photographed the lot - just in case. I mean - you never know, she could have gone to the police accusing me of anything. At this point, I realised that this was a pretty strong sign that I didn't trust her. You can like someone one hundred percent, but with zero trust...

I'm still cringing as I write this. I broke up with her soon afterwards. I mean, how could I ask her around for a bite to eat?! Seriously, I know some people have fetishes and all of that - but she just didn't want to talk about it. She told me that she used to do it with her brother a lot...ugh.

The vampyre subculture exists of people who base their everyday lives on vampires. Some go as far as sleeping in coffins, drinking each other's blood, and filing their canines down. This is however a really really small and obscure subculture. I have problems taking this seriously, but then I guess if it works for them. But it wouldn't be my cup of tea, despite having spent years in the goth subculture. Vampyre subculture is way different though. Too extreme to find it sane, in my opinion.

I don't make stuff up - truth is stranger than fiction, and all that. Didn't realise how much it bothered me until I typed that last night, so I'll deal with it. Maybe she was training me for fight club!

I think it depends on what type of vampire we're talking about. If it's the tend that was popular amongst teens afew years ago where they like vampire movies & dressing with capes but not actually trying to drink blood or bite anything; I might would of considered it but there's NO WAY I would with a real vampire or someone who thought they were & tried to bite or drink blood.

It's not the memory, it's the feeling attached to the memory...ouch it's almost like I can now feel the biggest bite again! Wow. I just repressed the memory, until last night...yeah I'll practice what I preach, bit of hyp. cheers Yes, there is much much worse.

Dafuq did I just read ?
I think it was very wise to leave that relationship.
It sounds as though staying would have just been biting off more than you could chew.... both metaphorically and literally !

I would have loved to have a Vampire best friend like this one when I was a little boy being hit around the head for what seemed like hours by my stepfather for his amusement.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3Li5dLDfmY[/youtube]