Dating a woman with AS does not sound appealing to me

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Cafeaulait
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13 Nov 2013, 4:00 am

spongy wrote:

I wonder how long its going to be until males start telling the OP how much of a hypocrite he is for having aspergers and not wanting to date someone with aspergers.

I mean its what it was done last time a female started a similar post and we are all for equal treatment, right?

Good one.

Solvejg
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13 Nov 2013, 4:30 am

Cafeaulait wrote:

spongy wrote:

Good one.

probably because they are so happy to better odds with an aspie girl when there is less competition.

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FMX
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13 Nov 2013, 5:43 am

Flyer wrote:

Monolithe wrote:

Actually boys are more likely to develop Asperger's therefore there are more men who are aspie's than women.

I think that's what OP meant. If you swap women and men in the first sentence it all makes sense.

unemployedwithphd wrote:

I have read that there are more men than women with AS. That would give woman with AS leverage over men with AS. I can imagine a long line of aspie men trying to get a date with female aspie.

Why would there be a long line of men if there were fewer men with AS?

Yeah, I was confused by the original post, too, but if you swap the words like that it makes sense - and becomes consistent with known statistics, too.

But it's still unclear how the post content ties in with the topic title. It's unappealing because of the perceived heavy competition from other aspie males? OK, but at least they'd be on a similar social level to you! And a PhD, especially in something like physics, might actually be more of a competitive advantage with aspie women than with NT women. Just find an aspie woman who loves Big Bang Theory and you're in!

yellowtamarin wrote:

unemployedwithphd wrote:

I can imagine a long line of aspie men trying to get a date with female aspie.

I had that dream once too...

... but, in the dream, they were all aspie men you actually wanted to date?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Nov 2013, 6:12 am

What's so special about aspie guys to even dream about?

Hotter? Higher careers? Bigger dicks? Smarter? I think not.

FMX
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13 Nov 2013, 6:50 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

What's so special about aspie guys to even dream about?

Hotter? Higher careers? Bigger dicks? Smarter? I think not.

I don't know about "hotter" or "higher careers" and I certainly don't know about "bigger dicks", but "smarter"? Yes.

I say that mostly based on anecdotal evidence, but technically, the average aspie would be smarter than the average non-aspie, since the diagnosis rules out those with low IQs.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Nov 2013, 7:21 am

FMX wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

What's so special about aspie guys to even dream about?

Hotter? Higher careers? Bigger dicks? Smarter? I think not.

The historical diagnosis ruled out only below-average IQs.

Also, AS diagnosis doesn't exist anymore.

DavidCook
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13 Nov 2013, 2:01 pm

It's actually the other way around. More men than women have (been diagnosed with) AS, but that doesn't mean it's not even. And as for the men that want to date women with AS, there would be competition among them, only because there are more men than women with AS out there. However, dating is not as simple as this, and women often have higher standards than men (at least concerning AS), which can also cause the already low female population of known AS to diminish even further. It seems that women tend to date people who are "above" them - which means more NT than themselves, more "masculine" than themselves. Aspie women would, therefore, have it easier dating a NT than aspie men.
But I have an idea for you to consider: At least for me anyway, having AS greatly reduces my masculinity, if not eliminating it. Perhaps the same thing would happen for aspie women, making them not feminine but "neutral". Since opposites tend to attract, wouldn't aspies have a good chance of dating, on a regular basis? (Not taking into account other factors, of course.) And since there are as many "true" women aspies as men aspies, this would be a great idea!

Norda
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13 Nov 2013, 3:12 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

What's so special about aspie guys to even dream about?

Hotter? Higher careers? Bigger dicks? Smarter? I think not.

Some level of sameness is good....eliminates some of the fears.

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JanuaryMan
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13 Nov 2013, 3:23 pm

I think you're going to have to bear in mind much like you think an Aspie woman is not to your likings, an NT might think the same about an Aspie man.
On top of that, there will be differences in dating someone NT that you might not like or adjust well to. Going out with someone with Asperger's would not be settling, it would be dating someone more like yourself and while I personally have not had good experiences you might have better luck first giving the Aspie dating pool a shot.

octobertiger
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13 Nov 2013, 3:55 pm

I think that if you like someone, you like someone. Everyone has weaknesses, even NTs whom so many here put on some sort of a pedestal.

Saying, oh I'm just going to date an aspie, or an NT, is really limiting. People have personalites beyond these two categories.

Why 'fish' in just one pond? When, really, everyone is in the same pond anyway.

Acedia
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13 Nov 2013, 4:03 pm

spongy wrote:

He doesn't have an ASD. But yeah generalizing is lame.

And his post is poorly written and misinformed.

And it doesn't make much sense to me either. Flyer's post already beat me to it.

Not much to add.... :hmph:

JanuaryMan
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13 Nov 2013, 4:04 pm

octobertiger wrote:

Why 'fish' in just one pond? When, really, everyone is in the same pond anyway.

Two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl?

cavernio
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13 Nov 2013, 4:28 pm

Awww seriously, AS stands for aspergers, not autistic spectrum as in ASD, autism spectrum disorder?

sigh, all my posts

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yellowtamarin
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13 Nov 2013, 6:15 pm

FMX wrote:

yellowtamarin wrote:

unemployedwithphd wrote:

I can imagine a long line of aspie men trying to get a date with female aspie.

I had that dream once too...

... but, in the dream, they were all aspie men you actually wanted to date?

Shush you

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

What's so special about aspie guys to even dream about?

Hotter? Higher careers? Bigger dicks? Smarter? I think not.

Was more just imagining a line of people wanting to date me.

But since you asked...they tend to think more like I do, so they are more compatible with me.

DavidCook
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13 Nov 2013, 11:49 pm

BuyerBeware wrote:

Pretty sure there are more Aspie men than women. Something about MTH-FR deletions being theorized to be an X-linked recessive trait.

That said, dating a practical woman who places little value on material trinkets, has a short temper, struggles with identifying her emotions, and has less than no self-esteem doesn't exactly sound like my idea of a picnic, either. Frankly, after 15 years together, I don't have a freakin' clue what my husband sees in me.

My farther frank opinion is that, while AS/AS friendships might be tons of fun, AS/AS romantic relationships typically do not work out well. Too many of the same issues and weaknesses-- they make for good relating, but no ability to compensate for each others' weaknesses.

The long and short of this-- If dating an Aspie chick doesn't sound good to you, don't date one. I have Aspie friends and friends I believe to have schizoid personality disorder-- while I love asking their advice and opinion and perseverating with them over beer and hot dogs, I wouldn't consider dating (or God forbid, marrying) one of them for two-fifths of a nanosecond.

But autism is a very generic condition, defined by several thousand genes or more. Not all are sex-linked, so many can impact both genders equally.

FMX
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14 Nov 2013, 2:35 pm

octobertiger wrote:

Why 'fish' in just one pond? When, really, everyone is in the same pond anyway.

Well, that would be a very good reason to fish in the one pond.

But nitpicking aside, yes, of course it seems silly to look for only aspies and I don't think too many people do that. It's just that some aspies, myself included, feel that they are more likely to connect well with another aspie (or at least cuspie) than an NT.

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