when does someone officially become boyfriend or girlfriend

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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Nov 2013, 1:16 am

She's your gf as long you're not using your pua lines with her.

billiscool
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15 Nov 2013, 1:45 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

She's your gf as long you're not using your pua lines with her.

I do better when women approach,and do most of the talking.

The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Nov 2013, 2:29 am

billiscool wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

She's your gf as long you're not using your pua lines with her.

I do better when women approach,and do most of the talking.

Good, let her do all the talking.

yellowtamarin
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15 Nov 2013, 6:32 am

Sono wrote:

Here's how it nearly always happens with me:

Person 1: Huh.... we're dating, aren't we?
Person 2: I guess so. Cool!

And that's kinda it =/

Interesting. For me, if I'm dating someone, they are not yet my boyfriend/girlfriend. I consider dating to be all that stuff that happens before you decide it's officially a relationship. I was recently dating someone for around six weeks but that was not yet a relationship.

Bill's question is clearly way too complex!

The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Nov 2013, 6:58 am

yellowtamarin wrote:

Sono wrote:

Here's how it nearly always happens with me:

Person 1: Huh.... we're dating, aren't we?
Person 2: I guess so. Cool!

And that's kinda it =/

Interesting. For me, if I'm dating someone, they are not yet my boyfriend/girlfriend. I consider dating to be all that stuff that happens before you decide it's officially a relationship. I was recently dating someone for around six weeks but that was not yet a relationship.

Bill's question is clearly way too complex!

Exclusively dating?

Stalk
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15 Nov 2013, 9:18 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

yellowtamarin wrote:

Sono wrote:

Here's how it nearly always happens with me:

Person 1: Huh.... we're dating, aren't we?
Person 2: I guess so. Cool!

And that's kinda it =/

Interesting. For me, if I'm dating someone, they are not yet my boyfriend/girlfriend. I consider dating to be all that stuff that happens before you decide it's officially a relationship. I was recently dating someone for around six weeks but that was not yet a relationship.

Bill's question is clearly way too complex!

Exclusively dating?

you nailed it.

hurtloam
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15 Nov 2013, 10:20 am

Or are you asking at what point are you allowed to introduce her to people as "my girlfriend."

I genuinely don't know the answer.

It's like at what point are you allowed to update your Facebook status to "in a relationship"?

billiscool
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15 Nov 2013, 2:57 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:

it's an interim relationship. I guess it depend on each person how
they decide if their in relationship.but the moment my friend kissed
me on the lips,and later gave me her number,at that moment.
we gone from friends to something above that.

yellowtamarin
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16 Nov 2013, 2:24 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

yellowtamarin wrote:

Sono wrote:

Here's how it nearly always happens with me:

Person 1: Huh.... we're dating, aren't we?
Person 2: I guess so. Cool!

And that's kinda it =/

Interesting. For me, if I'm dating someone, they are not yet my boyfriend/girlfriend. I consider dating to be all that stuff that happens before you decide it's officially a relationship. I was recently dating someone for around six weeks but that was not yet a relationship.

Bill's question is clearly way too complex!

Exclusively dating?

I guess so, but how is that relevant? What I mean is we weren't at the point where we would do this:

hurtloam wrote:

...introduce her to people as "my girlfriend."

billiscool wrote:

There's a huge difference between being more than friends and being boyfriend & girlfriend, IMO. I thought that was what you are asking, when do you go beyond "dating" and "more than friends" to "officially in a relationship". And my answer is still this: when the two of you agree that it is so.

The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Nov 2013, 2:40 am

Quote:

No, the difference is only in your head.

If you are dating him exclusively repeatedly over weeks, having sex exclusively with him, having feelings for him and vice versa then he's your boyfriend damn it lol! Regardless if it's officially declared to people or not; just because it's not declared on fb or introduced to your friends then he's not your bf yet? There's a huge flaw in your definition of boyfriend and you complicate stuff by creating unecessary phases.
If he sleeps with another now, is it considered cheating in your case? (are you monogamous btw?)

It isn't Church marriage where you require public declaration; and even marriage in secret exists.

supguysfriedchicken
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16 Nov 2013, 3:05 am

Shau wrote:

billiscool wrote:

Shau wrote:

Pretty much none of the guys are gonna have an excuse after Billis scores his first GF, just saying.

I had 2 girlfriends before.

Minor details. If you can get a gf, anyone can, even if she's a bit...disabled.

I am 99% certain I never will. Even what Bill wrote in his opening post is more than I've ever done with a girl.

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yellowtamarin
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16 Nov 2013, 3:19 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

Okay we need more opinions on this. I think it's a hugely important phase.

No I wouldn't have considered it cheating, unless we had discussed it and said that we are monogamously dating (even then it's not really "cheating", just a horrible thing to do). We hadn't discussed it, we were just dating, to see if we got along well enough to form an official relationship.

If we had gone out somewhere and she introduced me as her girlfriend, I would have found that rather presumptuous, and incorrect. So I definitely think we were only "dating". I referred to her as someone I was seeing.

FMX
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16 Nov 2013, 5:01 am

yellowtamarin wrote:

No I wouldn't have considered it cheating, unless we had discussed it and said that we are monogamously dating (even then it's not really "cheating", just a horrible thing to do).

Really? After a certain number of dates would you not assume you are "monogamously dating" unless told otherwise? Leaving aside the precise definition of "cheating", would you not feel bad about it if, after you've gone out, say, 3 or 5 times, the person you were dating was also dating others?

I kind of assumed most people who view themselves as monogamous in relationships would also be monogamous in dating, ie. they would date only one person at a time.

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Stalk
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16 Nov 2013, 5:07 am

FMX wrote:

yellowtamarin wrote:

No I wouldn't have considered it cheating, unless we had discussed it and said that we are monogamously dating (even then it's not really "cheating", just a horrible thing to do).

in my 3 relationships that I had, it was clearly said.

yellowtamarin
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16 Nov 2013, 5:37 am

FMX wrote:

yellowtamarin wrote:

No I wouldn't have considered it cheating, unless we had discussed it and said that we are monogamously dating (even then it's not really "cheating", just a horrible thing to do).

I would not make any assumptions. How do you know the person you are dating is not polyamorous? These things need to be discussed.

I personally would feel bad if I found out the person I was dating was seeing other people, but if we hadn't agreed not to and hadn't committed to a relationship then I have no right to stop them. (As for the person I was seeing recently, we did discuss it and made it clear that we weren't dating anyone else. We also discussed that it wasn't a relationship yet!)

I'm sure many people who view themselves as monogamous in relationships would also be monogamous in dating...but I would not assume this of the person I'm dating.

Cafeaulait
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16 Nov 2013, 12:58 pm

I just can't imagine having sex before I am in a relationship with someone.

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