Feelings of bitterness

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I'm not bitter as much as I am kind of resigned. There are people I don't want to be around and apparently I'm one of those to the people I do want to be around. It is pretty sad but my years of effort haven't solved it so there's not a lot to do. Not that I never wish I was dead when I think about how bad my future is going to be.

I respectfully disagree. I have to go by experience. If other people with AS can find true love, then it is possible. AS is not the problem. It is a matter of motivation. How much does an individual want to be in a relationship? Is that person willing to put in the effort to make it work? We create our own realities by what we tell ourselves is possible.

Me personally, I am not willing to put in the effort. I never want to have kids. I never want to get married. It is incredibly painful emotionally for me when I get involved with a female. I don't think it is worth the effort. I prefer not to act on my sexual impulses. I am not bitter about it right now. I accept my difficulties with intimate relationships. That doesn't mean I won't be suicidal about it tomorrow though. That's what I mean when I say it is a mental thing. I can get obsessed about it all I want and be miserable or I can choose not to dwell on negativity. Life is about more than sex and romance. I don't have to be normal to be happy. I just have to accept life the way that it is (easier said than done, I know).

I don't feel bitter towards happy couples, but they do have a knack for stirring up feelings of bitterness towards ex's who walked away and certain other hurtful feelings I'd usually rather not connect with. It's not so much that I begrudge other people their happy relationships; I just kind of wish they would go have them somewhere else where I didn't have to see them.

I don't think that's necessarily it. Sometimes a person just won't be able to find someone who is compatible, no matter how much effort they pour into the search process. Imagine Everyone is a single digit number, and relationally each number wants to find the corresponding number that will allow the two to together reach the sum of ten. If you're a two surrounded by sixes and fours, you won't find the right person just by putting effort into sorting through the endless sixes and fours (not visual aesthetic grading scale numbers, just numbers for the sake of this example). Obviously that's a vast oversimplification, but trying to find the right partner does not make that partner appear in your life/area. I would agree that once in a relationship/potential relationship effort MUST be applied, however.

As for feeling bitter, yes, I do sometimes feel bitter. I feel bitter about a lot of things, however, and in my view of other couples I think my bitterness arises mostly when a couple, or one half of said couple, takes the situation for granted and cheats with explicit requests not to or finds another way to abuse/disregard the relationship. Sometimes I just feel that some people do not deserve to be in an intimate relationship, and do not by extend deserve to derive happiness from it. It's kind of like seeing many people around you have what you've wanted for most of your life and they proceed to treat it quite terribly, because they don't know what it's like to either not have it or not be able to easily obtain it.

That's a brilliant way of putting it. I am going to steal this for next time someone asks why I'm single.

I heard someone criticize single people the other day by saying that single people often "perceive that there is no one available in their area." I just rolled my eyes. Just because you are single and someone else is single in the same town doesn't mean that you are compatible. Why don't people get that? I can't help wondering if these people just got married to tick a box and don't actually like their spouse at all and they wonder why I don't just marry anyone and stop complaining because they feel that all I need to do is grab someone to tick that "married" box on my milestones of life list.

Yeah I feel bitter about that as well sometimes when i see girls my same age hanging out with their boyfriends and kissing in the corners of the streets or in the school halls.
But then I think "they're going to break up sooner or later"

I just feel this way because I've wanted it so bad and for so long. I keep seeing people who have treated their boyfriends, girlfriends, or spouses horribly and they all manage to stay in their relationships or get new ones, and it really bothers me that that happens, because I'm nothing like that. I'm not at all abusive, and I'm extremely loyal (probably almost to a fault),and it makes me mad to see that they all have relationships, yet I can't even get one date. I'm proud of the fact that I would never cheat on anybody and the fact that I haven't had sex with a hundred different guys. I've only had sex with one guy, and he was my only really serious relationship.

Yeah I see what you mean here. Reminds me of Andrew's latest ex girlfriend. She used to treat him well for the first two months and then started treating him terribly, telling him s**t, punching him. She med him suffer so much. No wonder they boke up after something like four months they were together I don't think I'd be that abusive, but I should admit that I could get aggressive because of my mood swings. But I know I'd never act like that girl did.
I think that my problem is, since I still am very young, that a girl like me who doesn't dress sexy or wear make-up is never going to be seen by guys as anything but a lesbian or a nun. Not saying it's your case; I don't know what your case is.
On Wednesday I told Andrew I liked him. I didn't tell me "yes" but he neither told me "no". I didn't get well what he meant. Anyway, the important thing is that I had enough gut to tell him.

Perhaps you are right. There are other extenuating circumstances besides having AS that can prevent one from finding a suitable mate.

I don't really feel that bitter, but most of my relationships have been pretty brief, so whenever I hear of a couple that's been together forever I sometimes think "why can't I have that?"

Whenever I hear about someone else's 'great' relationship, I just feel confused. How the hell did they get together, why are they together, what keeps them together, how do they even like each other? I don't understand any of that. To the point where right now, I can't see myself with anyone because I don't know.

"Bittersweet" sums it up for me. I love seeing people happy together, even though it makes me envious if I'm single at the time. But as with all but the most perfect of relationships, each couples hides its secret history of misery, disputes and money-squabbles from outsiders, so I know that the surface of bliss can conceal a shark-tank of personal strife, into which I will only rarely (please God) get a glimpse.

I don't feel bitter. Sometimes I feel like my expectations are not properly aligned. For example, I like to think I'm not superficial but I find that I am WAY more superficial than I like to think. I have come to think that when I grow mature enough to have my priorities properly aligned, I will end up in a great relationship.

There is a question I once answered on OkCupid that pretty much sums me up. It asked whether you prefer for things to be good or interesting.

I chose interesting... so yeah. What's good for you is not always that interesting or exciting.

A little bit bitter, a little envious, and a little angry.

My attempts to connect to people are all rebuffed.

The envy comes from seeing couples and friends everywhere, the bitterness comes from being rejected, and the anger comes from all the alone time I have to reflect on this situation.

Part of my bitterness comes from how things have turned out for me now that my friends have all paired up. I feel like they've dropped me. Someone told me the other day that the women see me as a threat. That's just crazy. These guys weren't into me when they were single, why would they be into me now?

I sometimes feel like I make things awkward. Not sure why. Is an uneven number at a table such a terrible thing? Why am I suddenly not one of the gang. Maybe I never was and this is an excuse to bump me out. I don't know.

I dunno. Recently I have reflected on the irony in my life that getting a postgraduate degree in Computer Science with top marks was actually far, far easier than ever getting a girlfriend would be. Perhaps its a unique experience. So perhaps instead of being bitter I just need to be more focused on what I'm good at.