hurtloam wrote:
No we are not now getting somewhere. This is very sexist to assume that all women will only make a first move if the man is very attractive, rich or famous. This is over-generalization.
Well I'm sorry that science fails to conforms to political correctness. But it is well known and reasily observed in nature that females always want the elitist males while males will take whatever they get there hands on; this is simply due to parental investment. In many populations, all the females will mate with only one or two of the most attractive males, while other males are lucky to find one interested female.
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Women are pre-conditioned by society not to make a first move because it is seen as not the done thing. Only a brave, self-confident woman or someone unaware of the social norm will say, "Hell, I'm going to do what I want. I like this man and I want to spend more time with him and I am going to tell him so."
If this is true, I would expect that other cultures fail to share this convention. Do you know of any such cultures? And it better not be some obscure african tribe, otherwise I'm forced to assume that it's biological and not cultural.
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It takes strength to go against the mainstream and do something different to what you've been told to. I've noticed as well that women I know think that they will hurt the man's pride if they ask him first and he won't like that, will feel emasculated and this will make her less attractive to him.
So what's a biological reason why a man's pride might be hurt, or at least a reason why a female would think that way? Or is it simply cultural? Evidence please.
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I have been told in the past that I am too much of a strong woman to be attractive and men need to see a bit of vulnerability. I have female friends who have been told the same thing.
I can see why this would be. If males are only going to invest in a single partner, she better be a faithful one. If you're too "strong" and "independent", then the male's subconscious tells him that you could potentially leave him in an instant considering that you never really needed him in the first place. If a woman is vulnerable however, his subconscious sees her as someone who will cling to him no matter what.
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And why do girls say "yes" to anyone below the top 5% anyways? Because real life is about more than just producing offspring. We have other needs and values that need to be met. Just because a man will make a genetically good father doesn't mean that he will be someone you actually want to spend every day with. Good looking doesn't equal enjoyable to go to the park with, or enjoyable to go to a museum with or enjoyable to talk to.
A man that a woman actually likes to be around is more attractive to a woman who has a wide range of interests and who has other priorities than producing pretty looking kiddies. Not all women are obsessed with having babies.
In science we tend to assume that there's a naturalistic cause for everything unless we have a good reason not to. According to the materialistic assumption, the entire purpose of life is to perpetuate one's genes. Therefore, this forces me to assume that even though you might not be consciously looking for good genes, your subconscious is telling you otherwise; of course few people are obsessed with making babies. If going to a park and a museum indicates that a mate will be compatable, then that will elevate his romantic value.
But again I ask, is there something about a male making the first move that makes him more worthwhile? Is there something against a female's interest in making the first move instead?
01 Dec 2013, 12:57 pm
