I feel like the luckiest man alive.

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Joined: 8 Jul 2012
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12 Dec 2013, 4:34 pm

You might be right that its too early to conclude that. However, "I'm busy/been busy" will tell me that I should leave the person alone, do my own thing, and see when and if they get back to me.

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JinNJ
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12 Dec 2013, 5:37 pm

aspiemike wrote:

Update:

We've been out a few times and things appeared to be going well. We went out Tuesday for a movie. Things seemed ok. Yesterday I give her a message before she usually does saying "Hey, just wanted to say Good morning, hope you have a good day

" She had been doing this with me as well for the most part. I didn't receive a message until bed time. The words read "Hey, My day was good. Hope yours was as well. I've been busy. Sleep Tight."

The "busy" word thrown in there which is usually an indicator that says "I don't want to talk to you". Yeah. I don't know if I will respond to that. What I know there is that I wont bother replying to it. I will now refer to myself as single and available.

So if she hadn't said "busy" would you consider yourself "single and available"?

Shau
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12 Dec 2013, 5:44 pm

Oh it's so adorable seeing Mike with the butterflies like this! He's normally so calm and wise!

aspiemike
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12 Dec 2013, 6:22 pm

Surprisingly, I am still feeling rather calm about all of this. I don't really know why yet.

If she hadn't said busy? Who knows what the status would be. I haven't thought about it which means I obviously don't know. All I did was simply think of how I would get people to go away myself "I'm busy, been busy." Then get back to the person when I'm not busy. Second part... Last time I heard this from someone I was dating... I never did hear back.

If you think it's easy to change how you view things because of how your past has affected you.. believe me and I wouldn't be surprised if anyone else says this.. It's very difficult. I of course know now that more work needs to be done.

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blueroses
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12 Dec 2013, 7:19 pm

Maybe she was actually busy? Or, didn't want to seem clingy? Either way, I wouldn't worry about it, unless it becomes a pattern.

On a side note, now this thread is making me feel a little paranoid that people are overthinking and/or misinterpreting things I've said to them recently, too. Why can't people just say what they mean and mean what they say?!

aspiemike
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12 Dec 2013, 7:28 pm

blueroses wrote:

One thing that has actually helped me since becoming a Christian is prayer. I probably would have been overthinking this through a lot more if I don't pray. I always confess and give thanks in every prayer.

But to each their own. I am just saying what works for me. I find I am more clear minded for the most part. But I do know where my past life has affected me and it always rears its ugly head every here and there.

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Shau
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12 Dec 2013, 9:33 pm

aspiemike wrote:

Surprisingly, I am still feeling rather calm about all of this. I don't really know why yet.

You're talking about "most people calm". Yes, you are that. But you are not "Aspiemike calm". Right now your'e "Aspiemike panicking", which is much calmer and more subtle than "most people panicking".

aspiemike
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12 Dec 2013, 10:18 pm

Shau wrote:

aspiemike wrote:

Surprisingly, I am still feeling rather calm about all of this. I don't really know why yet.

I'm intrigued by your insight. I would like to hear some more.

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Autism_Us
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12 Dec 2013, 10:25 pm

She may have been busy or is not interested. I wouldn't contact her for a few days unless she contacts you. If you don't hear from her, then you know she isn't interested anymore. We women take the time to send a 2 second text when we like someone. Maybe she is an exception but most of us do. Just keep your mind and heart open. If she is interested she will make contact, if not so be it, at least you know first hand. God knows what, and who, you need in your life. Best of luck hon!

JinNJ
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12 Dec 2013, 10:30 pm

aspiemike wrote:

If I were to offer up a suggestion I would say this, don't change anything you would have normally done had that not happened. If you get further indication that she isn't interested, then feel free to give her space (i.e. go distant)

But if she hasn't been as responsive to you after that AND you have also changed the way you normally behave, she is most likely waiting for you to re-establish or reaffirm your interest. As the guy, most NTs will expect this of you.

I also hope you asked her about her busy day and what's been going on and showed interest in whatever had her busy (shopping, holiday parties, appointments, and etc.).

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