Ever noticed this with Aspie People, does this annoy you?

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Thanks for all the replies.

Had an interesting time reading what people have had to say.

@Hurtloam (Have I spelt your username in the right way?)

I especially agree with what you said, in regards to them basing their love lives on Disney movies.
Maybe it's the aspies in me being naive, I have noticed it greatly, and it bugs me.

Somebody was bitching on Facebook a few months ago, something along the lines of "God damn it, I'm single, I'll never find my true love"

People for some reason turn to me for comfort, when their relationship is in jeopardy, (I get it alot) For when they realize it's not going to work out, I usually have to spent quite a lot of time, consoling them, usually they just refuse to listen.

Being single doesn't kill anybody.

Even though I tend to be quite introverted and uncomfortable in social situations, I find that I often don't "feel" right unless I have a close friend or relative to cling to, regardless of if they're male or female. I often wish though that I had a male friend with the "sensitivity" of a female, so that we could be really close and emotional, yet at the same time still talk about "guy stuff". I guess to some people this would make it sound like I'm gay and that I'm looking for a boyfriend, but that's not really the case. I'm straight for the most part, with some occasional bisexual leanings, but "dating" a guy and being in a sexual relationship would just seem really odd to me. Sometimes I actually wish I were gay, so that things would "straighten out" (pun intended ) and I wouldn't feel so conflicted like this.

So what you're saying is aspie women are fawning over you or something or one aspie woman decides she's tired of being rejected and suddenly that makes up the majority while you just casually ignore how many threads of complaints about aspie men not having girlfriends there are. Sounds like selective judgement.

I've seen that from people in general, not aspies necessarily.

I have been thinking about this topic and a few things occurred to me.

Don't we Aspies generally have a hard time making connections with other people?

If that is true, and one of us has been/is in a relationship, that relationship would constitute a connection with another person.

In my case, loss of a connection (since I don't have that many) can be devastating. Would that be true for others, as well? I think maybe some people are perfectly happy never having that kind of connection; I think there are just as many others of us who really crave connections with others.

Again, in my case, losing a connection is going to make me want a replacement for the lost connection. I do realize that there is no way to really replace a lost connection (as in have an identical situation) with a completely different person. It may, however, be possible to form a new connection with someone else - but it will never be exactly the same. Even so, the longing for "replacement" may drive us to get involved with unsuitable people.

I see a lot of that feeling displayed in some of the "I want a relationship, any relationship" threads in here. Is that not merely a longing for a connection with another?

Now I'm seeing a couple recent threads come together here..... The women who are longing for a connection possibly have it easier getting a date, but a harder time finding someone "suitable." The men who are longing for a connection are possibly less particular in what they consider "suitable," but they have a harder time getting a date in the first place.

So.....longing for that connection results in lots of women who get involved with jerks, and maybe looks a lot like they're hopping from one man to the next. Longing for that connection also results in lots of men who initially have a difficult time finding someone to give them a chance and what that looks like is that they become increasingly more down on themselves, giving off more and more negative vibes, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of "never being able to get someone to go out with them."

Does this make sense at all?

Yes it does Eureka. It does make sense.

The best way to figure things out is to observe patterns in your life to figure things out. At least that is what I did.. I'm not dating someone who is fresh out of a relationship now.

Eureka makes a lot of sense I think.

Also, as a young woman I was not particularly into having a boyfriend, BUT it was a "normal" thing to do, to want a boyfriend. I watched my friends meet boys and go out with them (and there are loads of other influences which are all telling you that from your mid-teens you ought to be making those sort of relationships).

So I did it too, but I suspect as usual that I did it "my way". Luckily in some ways, I was pretty shy but if I hadn't been? I guess I could have approached different boys asking them to go out with me. I just looked like a weird starey stalker instead (in the days before social media as I am old now).

So bear in mind that wanting a boyfriend for a young woman can be almost universal depending on surrounding culture and influences. It's just that an NT girl will get one with all the social skills/guile/cunning she naturally possesses, whereas an AS girl may well just come right out and get to the point. You don't seem to appreciate this approach, so just be clear that you are not interested (kindly). If they go after other people, what's it to you?

Thanks for the replies guys.

Some very interesting viewpoints here.

I need to re clarify some of my early views, as I was exhausted, when I made my OP.

Not necessarily does this happen with just females, I've seen it big time in males too, but the ones are are like that, in my circle of knowable people, it's mainly females. There are a few males who carry on like that too, usually in my friends circle it's usually 4 females, to every 2 males. (Hope I did that correctly)

Also, in my earlier comments, when it comes to being "Annoyed" I'll better re clarify that too. When these girls ask me out, (I usually don't get much female attention), I think "oh yay, somebody's interested in me. however she's not my type, so let me politely turn her down without hurting her too much".

Well it turns out, I got told by multiple people, that that girl asked about 4 or 5 different guys, (On separate occasions probably, after obviously being turned down, multiple times, the same day), and what annoys me, is that girls like that think I'm that easy, and that much of an aspie, I'll agree to date a girl on the spot, I don't have romantic feelings for. Of course them serial dating doesn't bother me otherwise, but once I found out that they asked me out, and once I said no, then they move onto other guys, that's what annoys me.

I dont even like this opinion as I type it but.... There really isn't such a thing as the "one." Most people are fairly similar to each other because we have similar formative factors when we grow up. Some people are violent or pervey or disconnected, but by and large there is a finite pool of personality traits to choose from. When it comes down to it the "One" is really the one you choose. In terms of dating you don't necessarily need to know beforehand that they will be the love of your life to decide to take the first step.

For highschoolers:
Dating is a status symbol. If you are single you may be ridiculed and looked down on. Having a boy/girlfriend gives you access to more social events and thus higher teirs on the social ladder.

For others:
Dating is in and of itself a good dating strategy. It's somewhat hard for guys/girls to insinuate themselves into friend groups of the opposite gender because the (often deserved) perception by whoever you link to that group is that you are just trying to sleep with them. Conversely by dating a member of that group you expose yourself to new social options and avenues. This is where the meme of breaking up and hooking up with the best friend comes from. There was another post mentioning "transition boyfriends" which is a similar concept.

my view:
being alone sucks ballz. My close friends are too busy chasing tail to bother with me anymore since I make a sh***y wingman anywhere over a certain decidable or with too many flashing lights. I want to date so I'm not alone all the time. This also gives me access to my GF's social sphere to make new less sh***y friends (possibly). Of course the very aire of desperation that drips from those statements also chokes off most potential relationships before they start. I'm one of the people you describe. The first (and last so far) girl I met on okcupid I was not attracted to at all, I dated her for a month and was trying desperately to change what I found attractive before sex or the lack thereof became an issue. Didn't end up mattering because I screwed up somewhere else. The desire to form a connection can be devastating, and I understand why someone would want to form a shallow connection rather than drown waiting for a deep one.