Would you ever date someone you are not attracted too?

Post Reply New Topic

Well, i can't tell you what to decide and I have no right to.

You know your feelings, you know your thoughts and you most likely will know what you want or will figure that out. Maybe take the time to figure it out before making a decison. Think about what you want here, and also figure out what she wants and see if it can work if you want to be with her.

As someone who isn't sexually attracted by looks much, I would personally find your issues with her physical appearance a non-issue. Is your sexual desire and sex itself impacted negatively by her looks? If yes, then perhaps she's not for you.

In general it seems like you're questioning this a lot (you've talked about this twice now I think or pehaps I'm confusing you with someone else), which implies to me that you're missing a strong emotional connection underneath it all, since if that were there, you wouldn't be so concerned about this. Although perhaps her looks aren't making it able for you to feel more connected to her. That would suck if the case, but at least if you figure that that's the case you could try to get over that hump.

Character is always the most important, emotionally, mentally, and especially spiritually. That said, I wouldn't even approach someone I didn't find at all attractive for an intimate relationship. For me, the purpose of dating is finding a spouse, and while sexual attraction's not #1, its definitely in the top three.

Yes and I would take him to meet all my aunts to get them off my back about being single. It probably wouldn't work out, but at least I would appear to be normal to family for a bit.

I'm not even sure if I'm being sarcastic or not...

It seems that people are interpreting this as dating someone physically attractive.

I take the topis as would you date someone who you are not attracted to. As in general all around attraction.
Attraction isn't just about looks, it's also about their personality, morals & principals.

Of course, looks change as time goes by. But in a healthy, growing relationship, those other aspects of attraction get stronger.
But this is about dating which is the early stages of a relationship. If there isn't something attracting you to that person, then why date them? If there is no attraction, then it's just platonic friends going out and doing something together. And if those feelings are just platonic, it should be made clear. It's not fair to lead someone on. That can be an awkward conversation though.
If you can't have that conversation with someone who you suspect is attracted to you, but you are not attracted to them, then don't hang out with them. Blowing someone off may not be the best approach, but sometimes it is necessary, most will figure it out that you aren't interested.

I've done this twice. Plan on a short term relationship with the goal of developing social skills, infiltrating a social circle or just don't do it. Attraction is important. And it has to be physical attraction, the puppy-love-omg-someone-actually-likes-me reciprocated attraction evaporates after even small periods of separation.

I think that I keep the relationship going right now because we planned this months ago. She is spending her winter break with me. I also figured I am less likely to kill my self with someone in my apartment with me. Christmas is usually a hard time for me; and without my kids for 2 years in a row is plain terrible.

I think having her live with me for three weeks will tell us both if this is something we both want to continue. I will make no prejudgements but I think we will both learn a lot about the other person.

I did date someone I wasn't attracted to once. It didn't make me happy.

It depends on you, attraction is very important to me. I tried to date someone I wasn't attracted to, because he was really nice and had a great personality, but no way- never again.

I've only "dated" one person in my life who was reasonably attractive. She cheated on me constantly and I told her it was cool because I was desperate and 17. Eventually she felt so sorry for me that she said she couldn't keep up the charade anymore, and she just wanted me to help with her homework (hahahaha, man, that's a real classic).

I'm not angry about it though. Her life was a total trainwreck until she met her husband and had a son. Now she's a very devoted parent and a decent person in general, so I'm glad it ended well for her.

Hell naw! If I am only attracted to someone's personality then I take them as a friend.
I find physical attraction really important, personally. I'm a bit superficial like that.
My boyfriend is bloody gorgeous, not because I'm blinded by love or anything. He has genuinely pretty, symmetrical features so I feel lucky to have found him.

No.

I'd be friends with them, but I couldn't date someone I wasn't physically/sexually attracted to as that's a pretty important matchmaking piece of criteria for me. For others who may not be interested in sex at all, it might be just fine, but personally.. No, I could not date someone I wasn't attracted to.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I think this sort of behaviour is why a lot of aspies are lonely.

I don't generally "date" people who are shorter than 6 foot or lighter than 95kgs. But that is only on paper.

Its about time people get real and stop trying to find someone who ticks all of your check boxes. Someone might be perfect on paper but a terrible match IRL, same with vice versa.

What do you actually expect, OP?

If you lose her, you may realise that maybe she is special.

Judging by your posts, you're expecting what's out of your league to be available to you. If you continue to think like that then you will always be lonely.

If you are not attracted to this woman then you should not be with her. But do not expect people out of your league to want you.

Tough question. If she has a wonderful, caring, moral personality, and is very intelligent, then I would consider dating her, since looks fade with age anyways. But if I am not in any way attracted to her (looks and personality), then I couldn't date her.

I went out for six months with a guy I wasn't attracted to at all. I stayed with him out of sympathy, I guess. He advertised looking for a mate in a local newspaper, I answered it, and we started seeing each other.

He fell head over heels in love with me right away. It was scary because no one's ever loved me before. I'm not the lovable type, being abused and rejected my whole life.

He barely spoke English, was very short, and his eyes just looked displaced or almost deformed. I stayed because he loved me and I thought it was the least I could do.

After six months of that I gave up. I couldn't pretend to like him anymore. When I broke it off he cried. I felt bad for the little guy. I should've been more considerate.

In retrospect, it was a relationship I wasn't ready for. Obviously, he was but not me. Despite his looks I'd give him a 2nd chance. Or maybe I'm just feeling guilty about it.